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Westway (original poster member #71747) posted at 12:01 AM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
No alimony is interesting. Let us know how that goes. I have never heard of someone getting out so easily.
There is no compulsory alimony in my state. I'm offering her a monthly stipend for 5 years or until she gets remarried. I make good money. It's not going to hurt me financially.
However, she must pay me half of the equity built up in the home since she inherited it. I imagine her dad will loan her the money. That money will go into a trust for both girls.
Me: 52;
XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater
Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.
Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 1:29 AM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
I recommend you limit your offer to 5 years period, otherwise she could bring a boyfriend to live with her and not get married ever, making your offer a lifetime alimony.
faithfulman ( member #66002) posted at 3:24 AM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
I'm pretty sure that it's up to and no more than 5 years of stipend or when she is married, whichever comes first.
[This message edited by faithfulman at 9:25 PM, November 18th (Monday)]
Jduff ( member #41988) posted at 3:58 AM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
That money will go into a trust for both girls.
Straight up smart move. Who could argue against that!?!?
The grass is always greener.... where the dogs are shitting.
-Soundgarden
Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 9:19 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
Good planing, may I ask how WW is doing now she has been served?
Westway (original poster member #71747) posted at 10:37 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
Good planing, may I ask how WW is doing now she has been served?
She's been quiet mostly. Behaving herself. I have not caught her on the phone talking to her johns but then again I don't get home until 7:00 pm at night. We haven't really been arguing. She cried a lot right after getting served but that has passed. I do catch her looking at me sometimes. Can't tell you what she's thinking. She's probably wondering how to make my body sink correctly in Lake Erie.
Me: 52;
XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater
Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 11:49 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
She's in shock. Never thought she'd get caught.
Beware of rat poison in your oatmeal
Sanibelredfish ( member #56748) posted at 11:59 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
She's probably wondering how to make my body sink correctly in Lake Erie.
Gallows humor, but I imagine she knows someone who could help with that. I wouldn’t eat anything that you don’t break the seal on either.
Westway (original poster member #71747) posted at 12:07 AM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
So a 180 story:
Last night as I was getting ready to turn in my WW comes into the living room and asks is she can talk to me in the kitchen. So I slip my VAR on in my pocket and go in and we're standing on opposite sides of the kitchen island and she just stands there with eyes swollen and looking like she had been crying for hours. And we stand there and stand there and like the 180 says to I wait for her to start. Finally after about two minutes she finally whispers out "I'm sorry for all the things I did. I should have told you a long time ago that I wasn't happy."
I just nodded. "Yeah that would have been nice."
She waited and tears were streaming down and she finally said "I can't believe you're moving on so quickly. It's like everything is going fast forwards."
"The sooner we get divorced the sooner we can go on to be with the kind of people we want to be with." I answered her.
And we just stood there and stood there, and stood there and stood there. Finally I patted her on the shoulder and told her it would all work out. Then I just went up to my room.
Me: 52;
XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater
Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.
Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 12:28 AM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
Great job protecting yourself, both emotionally as well as from unfounded accusations.
One suggestion, keep the VAR with you and on at all times, especially now that she might get desperate to keep her quality of life
Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets
sleepylove ( member #68848) posted at 2:01 AM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
Westway,
Incredible job. Plain and simple.
BH 49WW 49Married almost 22 years at time of AShe had an affair Dec 2017-Feb 2018Found them together 2/2/18 Final Dday 2/23/18 Still don't know the whole truthTrying to R
Sanibelredfish ( member #56748) posted at 3:13 AM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
Lol, you’re the one moving on too quickly?!? That’s some premium quality cheater logic right there! Your reply was the greyest of grey rocks. Nice job!
ramius ( member #44750) posted at 5:12 AM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
Pat on the shoulder....matter of fact response.
Perfect.
Treat her like the most mature teenager in the room.
Which she is.
How many scars have you rationalized because you loved the person who was holding the knife?
Their actions reveal their intentions. Their words conceal them.
Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 7:49 AM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 8:15 AM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
She waited and tears were streaming down and she finally said "I can't believe you're moving on so quickly. It's like everything is going fast forwards."
She was thinking she was supposed to get a guaranteed second chance.
paco2000 ( new member #70443) posted at 11:22 AM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
Hi Westway,
Don't you think her sister could figure who you're wife have been sleeping with?
Wish you all the best
Robert22205https ( member #65547) posted at 1:51 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
I should have told you a long time ago that I wasn't happy.
And now you know the justification for cheating that she's giving her family.
Trdd ( member #65989) posted at 2:08 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
rugswept ( member #48084) posted at 2:16 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
The extreme crying is related to her grieving that the life as she knew it is over. She's not grieving the end of your M. She killed that, a long time ago, without any grief at all.
She's grieving the end of her life on the gravy train: the well provided lifestyle, with money to pay for hotels and gifts for boyfriends. She just can't see how she'll be able to maintain the lifestyle she's learned to love. It is a lot to give up.
It's really difficult for her to figure out how she'll support herself AND her BFs. It's a great loss in her life.
Make no mistake (and I can tell you're not about to do that), if you stay with her, she'll soon have some new BF and more plans for more plush settings for sex.
I have no sympathy or empathy at all for her. None.
R'd (rug swept everything) decades ago.
I'm big on R. Very happy marriage but can never forget.
nothisfriend ( member #53171) posted at 3:51 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
Greyest of grey rocks - that's an excellent description. Good job! She is seeing that she has no power anymore and it's freaking her out.
Me: BS 50 (at the time) Him: WH 53 (at the time) D-Day: 10/25/15 Married: 28 years. One son, age 18 (at the time)
D final 2016 REMARRIED to a marvelous guy on 4/22/23
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