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betterintime ( member #22152) posted at 6:04 PM on Saturday, February 7th, 2009
Thanks SerJR! Great Post, especially for all the new members............
for everyone, have you found any specific 180 behaviors that have helped you?
thanks again everybody 
betterdaysahead ( member #12309) posted at 4:47 PM on Thursday, February 19th, 2009
The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯
conflictedheart ( member #22901) posted at 4:56 PM on Thursday, February 19th, 2009
Thanks for bumping this.
-was lulled into a false reconcile
BW, Me 34
WH, 33
Married 13 years, together 19 years
2 children
betterdaysahead ( member #12309) posted at 3:43 PM on Friday, February 20th, 2009
bumped for IKN
ETA sorry INK
[This message edited by betterdaysahead at 9:44 AM, February 20th (Friday)]
The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯
FastForward ( member #22073) posted at 3:25 PM on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
sofresh ( member #22912) posted at 4:32 PM on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
if WS has KISA syndrome, won't being so confident push them away?
ME BW 30 & DS 14 mos.
STBXWH 38 sociopath, SA living with OW 25
D day #1
4 F/R's and corresponding D days
For unhealthy relationships, Dr Seuss would probably say to us…
“Be happy its over, don't cry because it happened”
sofresh ( member #22912) posted at 5:09 PM on Friday, February 27th, 2009
I hate the fact that the 180 acknowledges that the WS is till in your home...does it also assume they are still seeing the other person,...I mean how does one put up with this?!
ME BW 30 & DS 14 mos.
STBXWH 38 sociopath, SA living with OW 25
D day #1
4 F/R's and corresponding D days
For unhealthy relationships, Dr Seuss would probably say to us…
“Be happy its over, don't cry because it happened”
TraumaMamma ( new member #23044) posted at 6:56 PM on Friday, February 27th, 2009
I have been kind of doing some of this already.
My WS is so self centered he wants to know why when he doesn't tell me something it is not ok and I when I pull away it is ok.
I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around this whole 180 thing. We still live together, his mistress so to speak are his adoring bodybuilder friends and band groupies, both of which he has tainted for me to enjoy because of flirting and affairs. (and I never really got into either of those venues anyways).
He maintains his innocence and "only had a ONS" and did not see his pages and pages of comments to women and flirtations as hurtful to me.
And he actually accused me of being dishonest and not going in early last nite to work for training. I called on speaker phone so he could hear I did indeed have to go in early.
So my 180 when it takes me away from him, is met with distrust.
I guess since he has been dishonest, it is hard to believe the other person could actually be doing what they say they are, right?
I realize the 180 is about me, and it is pissing off the WS as he believes it is about HIM. 
[This message edited by TraumaMamma at 12:57 PM, February 27th (Friday)]
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Me BS 44
Him WH 39
Married 4 yrs
No bio children, just step's and 3 dogs!
SerJR (original poster member #14993) posted at 1:21 AM on Sunday, March 8th, 2009
Self care tips added in
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
Rella ( member #21136) posted at 12:42 AM on Monday, March 9th, 2009
Eleven years later, I never could have imagined how much happier my life has turned out!
sofresh ( member #22912) posted at 4:02 PM on Monday, March 9th, 2009
My WS is so self centered he wants to know why when he doesn't tell me something it is not ok and I when I pull away it is ok.
I have the same problem, and I agree with your sentiments...
They assume we are being dishonest because that's all they know right now.
My WH actually said something about me going to church...like sure that's where you were.
ME BW 30 & DS 14 mos.
STBXWH 38 sociopath, SA living with OW 25
D day #1
4 F/R's and corresponding D days
For unhealthy relationships, Dr Seuss would probably say to us…
“Be happy its over, don't cry because it happened”
brohl5 ( member #13440) posted at 7:53 PM on Thursday, March 19th, 2009
bumping for newbies
I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.
You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.
Breathe, just breathe.
JoePike ( member #13207) posted at 12:49 PM on Friday, March 27th, 2009
Bumping for newcomers
"Do or do not. There is no Try" - Yoda.
"The term “mistake” infers a level of ignorance, innocence and naivety. And a lack of intent and planning." - Craig Harper
JoePike ( member #13207) posted at 12:53 PM on Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
Bump for Allybam and other newcomers
"Do or do not. There is no Try" - Yoda.
"The term “mistake” infers a level of ignorance, innocence and naivety. And a lack of intent and planning." - Craig Harper
gracelesslady ( member #21550) posted at 7:48 PM on Wednesday, April 8th, 2009
BW (me) 63XWH 59OW#1 28MOW#2 35OW#3 38DDay #1 Aug 2008DDay #2 Oct 2008DDay #3 Apr 2015S since Apr 2015D final Jun 2017
Shared Taxi ( member #22900) posted at 8:04 PM on Wednesday, April 8th, 2009
I wish I had read this early on. I completely misunderstood the 180 and avoided it.
HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 5:41 AM on Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled
kluelesskat ( member #23552) posted at 7:44 AM on Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
I think it is important to understand that this is for yourself first.
Me - BS
Him - WS
MOW - Ole fatty w 2 others on the side besides mine and her husband
Charli ( member #15601) posted at 6:01 PM on Monday, May 11th, 2009
me: 35, F, XBSO, getting on with my life!
itspjw ( member #21268) posted at 5:11 PM on Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...
there's just too much that time cannot erase
dday 9/11/08
And the more I know, the less I understand
Because of you...I am afraid...
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