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Moving to divorce forum

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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 12:06 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

We do what we can until we can do no more.

The D/S crowd is a wonderful lot. Just sorry you have to join that club.

(((wonderboy & littles)))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 5860092
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 12:23 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

I'm remembering a saying that goes something along the lines of "has a fool for a client?"

Run your stuff past a second set of eyes, K?

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 5860115
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 SuperDuperWonderboy (original poster member #34716) posted at 12:38 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

C'mon Gonna, have a little more faith in me than that. My judgment may suck when it comes to picking a wife, but I know how to pick the best damn lawyer in town (I am sooooo great).

My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.

posts: 1356   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Everett
id 5860136
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hathnofury ( member #32550) posted at 12:38 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

I am so sorry. I agree with everything everyone has said. I think you are doing the right thing.

May I second the suggestion to get representation for yourself? My WH is a lawyer as well. When I told MY lawyer that WH chose to represent himself in our post-nup, he was giddy and said that was greatly to our advantage. Because every lawyer THINKS they know how to do any kind of law, but the truth is divorce law is exceedingly complicated and very very specific to the state/county. Even an actual divorce lawyer would not be able to objectively see the best path to navigate their own situation and protect their (and their kids') best interests. Just sayin'.

BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

posts: 1503   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011
id 5860137
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Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 12:42 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

So very sorry to hear this. I agree with the advice about getting another attorney. Even if you are an expert in family law you should still get another lawyer involved who is more impartial. Please protect yourself.

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 5860141
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 SuperDuperWonderboy (original poster member #34716) posted at 12:50 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

I hear all this advice and appreciate it, but at this time, she and I are going to see if we can agree on the general terms such as custody, no child support, no alimony and splitting assets and debts 50/50. Right now we are both on the same page. If she lawyers up, then I will too, but we agree on the general principals so we should be o.k. and can file the petition jointly.

My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.

posts: 1356   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Everett
id 5860152
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Outdoornut1 ( member #35446) posted at 1:03 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

You seem to be keeping a level head- atleast in the SI world! I pray that God will be with you and that this will end in peace!

If the mediator doesn't work for me do you want to come to NY and be my lawyer?

Keep your head held high Wonderboy!

Me-BS
Wife-WS
D-day- 1/17/2012
2 Beautiful Girls
Future- unknown
"You are 50% responsible for the problems before the affair..WS is 100% responsible for choosing to cheat." Confused615

posts: 161   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2012   ·   location: Northern NY
id 5860181
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cayc ( member #21964) posted at 1:33 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

but at this time, she and I are going to see if we can agree on the general terms

Oddly, my stbxwh was great about the terms of the D, that were quite favorable to me. I say oddly b/c he has been so horrible in every other way.

I hope your WW continues in this vein. I suspect she might given my impression of her in her latest post.

I have to say, when I read her latest post in the wayward forum, what struck me most was the "flat affect". There was NO emotion there. Some said she was hostile, but I didn't see that. I saw the absence of any feeling.

And she was not very articulate either. I don't mean she sounded stupid, but rather she sounded shut down, reserved, and just ... closed off.

And you are so colorful & articulate & full of life! The contrast was really stunning. If what you've been getting from her IRL is even 50% of the "lack of" that was in the post, no wonder you're done. You can't make progress trying to work things out with a lamppost.

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Mexico
id 5860226
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DixieD ( member #33457) posted at 1:52 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

((wonderboy))

Very sorry for you at this difficult time.

You can't fix anyone else -- only work on yourself.

You have a lot to offer the world. Don't forget that on the down days.

Growing forward

posts: 1767   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2011
id 5860261
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quedagh ( member #24195) posted at 3:20 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

WB,

That is the path ex ww and I went. It has worked well for the littles- they have transitioned well.

The finances were not worth the battle and inevitable bad blood spilling more crap on the most innocent victims.

Sending you strength, brother. Mantra the kids first and remind her of that whenever she starts getting flaky or balks.

Ugh. The lack of remorse and effort to address the A were killers for me, too.

I did get some remorse and a real accepting the blame without shifting about a month ago. lol. Two and a half years too late.

Quickly taken back, of course.

Be strong. (and remember the morality clause- and include six months before new paramour is introduced to littles- this is good for them and you)

It may not define you but it sure as hell will affect how you think for the rest of your life.

posts: 1078   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2009   ·   location: Intermountain West
id 5860417
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 3:25 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

Dude...you are med/mal. NOT family. Get over yourself

Just kidding....kinda. I'm sticking with having a 'family' guy look over your shit. I'm serious.

(and I am considering this payback for the knuckle-rapping you gave me when you saw me posting at times that I *should* have been outlining! ) Consider it payback!

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 5860427
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 SuperDuperWonderboy (original poster member #34716) posted at 3:42 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

I hear ya gonna. (but I am really that awesome). We will have a family guy look it over but will have to waive the conflict of interest. I won't be secretive about what we are trying to accomplish with the divorce.

My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.

posts: 1356   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Everett
id 5860449
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TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 5:31 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

((wonder boy)) Good luck! Take care of yourself and give those kids lots of Iove.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 5860553
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noescape ( member #34888) posted at 12:39 PM on Tuesday, June 5th, 2012

WB)))))

I so relate to your situation. Hope for the best for you and yours.

posts: 739   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2012
id 5867162
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