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tatters ( member #34187) posted at 2:43 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
Me - BW 37
Him - WH 36
15 years
DDay 12/9/11
RDay 1/16/12
Trying to R
"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough."
whatjusthappened ( member #34695) posted at 3:14 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
Take care of you and your little ones. I'm so sorry.
(((wonderboy)))
Me - 40
Him - 39
Married 16 years
2 DS
Day my world crashed down: 12/22/11
In R. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
SuperDuperWonderboy (original poster member #34716) posted at 4:11 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
Thanks gang, you are right about moving back into the house, the problem is the thought of being around her sickens me. I will start drawing up the divorce papers today though. Ugggg I can't believe this is what happened to my life. But, as they say. Two tears in a bucket, f-it.
My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.
Random thoughts ( member #2959) posted at 5:02 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
Please be care and document everything, she might or will pull the abuse excuse, which will get you out of the house and affect you seeing your kids.
Those three words are said too much and not enough.Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.FWW
Twigs323 ( member #34055) posted at 5:07 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
Wonder,
So so sorry. Keeping up with your posts I know that you have tried and tried. You deserve to be happy and if that means without her, so be it. Your children will be better with you both happy even if it means not together. You are young and will find love and companionship. I wish you the best.
Please listen to what RSU7 advised. Right now your emotions are clouding your thinking for what is best for you and kids in the long run.
(((Wonder)))
[This message edited by Twigs323 at 11:08 AM, May 31st (Thursday)]
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 5:13 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
WB,
Read every bit of screwedup 7's advice.
Good luck. 180 her totally. I personally think you are doing the right thing for you. You can't carry this thing if there is no remorse.
We are here for you if you need us. TG
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 5:15 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
Im sorry,Wonderboy. It's obvious that you tried everything in your power to make this work. But she just refused to put in the effort.
(((Wonderboy)))
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
identitylost ( member #34496) posted at 5:17 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
sorry. There is a happy ending out there for all of us, we have to believe that.
Me: BS (37)
Him: someone else's problem
1DS (3)
M: 5yrs
OW: irrelevant at this point.
DDay: 12/17/11
Divorced: 01/13
Long Gone ( member #32587) posted at 5:20 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
sorry dude....
I have followed both your posts....and hers were so defensive and hostile at times.....I had often wondered if something was still ongoing behind the scenes.....probably for the best my man....good luck....the world goes on....
MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 5:20 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
so sorry wb...truly sorry it had to come to this...take care of yourself and your children and focus on you. you can't fix her - you never could..
44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....
coastofsomewhere ( member #3624) posted at 5:21 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
So sorry wb! I know this isn't what you wanted, but you can only do so much.
As for her...where ever she goes, there she'll be. If she doesn't address and change her issues, she will drag this dynamic to every relationship.
BaldwinBeauty59 ( member #35507) posted at 6:02 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
So very sorry WB. You gave it everything you had. No one will ever be able to find fault with your efforts. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink even if you hold it's head underwater. You'll only get tired and wet.
Best of luck to you, sir. Concentrate on yourself and your healing and being the best father any child has ever had. Your WW can't seem to realize you are the best thing that will ever happen to her. It's her loss and one day she will wake up and realize what a prize she let slip through her fingers. You however, will realize what a lucky escape you had.
Me - BW (53)
Him - WH (56)
OW - skanky whore coworker
Married 33 years
DDay1 8/10/11
DDay2 8/15/11
DDay3 8/28/11
2 grown children
Status - in R
starrysky ( member #14669) posted at 9:59 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
I'm so sorry wonderboy, this makes me incredibly sad :( You have to know that you did all that you could do & still remain sane. Please believe that.
I think many of us WS' tried as hard as we could too; to help JNRPA "see the light" but she never wanted to truly see it. There has been so much wisdom on the posts she's made, but clearly, it was for naught.
Please take care of you & your littles (((HUGS)))
[This message edited by starrysky at 4:00 PM, May 31st (Thursday)]
"The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it"
Me(37)-FWW/BS
Him(36)-BH/WH The love of my life
2 Daughters: 15,11
Married 14 years Together 17 years
11 Month EA & PA
Beautifully Reconciled
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 10:34 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
So sorry ((WB)).
Sometimes letting go is the best thing for you.
Get those papers filed!!
Sending hugs to you and your kiddies.
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
SuperDuperWonderboy (original poster member #34716) posted at 10:39 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
There was a ton of good advice on here for JNRPA, and I am grateful to all the WS's for trying, even knowing it was falling on deaf ears.
Told her about the D today. We are not going to get lawyers involved, and are going to try to do this amicably with a 50/50 split of everything and joint custody of the kiddos. We'll see how it goes. I got the papers all ready today, but the damn printer was out of ink. Will get them filed tomorrow. JNRPA was surprising (not really) calm about it. I guess part of me was still hoping that at one point she would realize that she actually gave a shit about losing me. Of course that's when I realized she doesn't.
Meh.
My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.
StepAside ( member #29826) posted at 10:53 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
First off: ((WB)) you have done all that you possibly could
Secondly:
We are not going to get lawyers involved, and are going to try to do this amicably with a 50/50 split of everything and joint custody of the kiddos. We'll see how it goes.
Be very careful here, when there are kids involved perhaps a professional would be the best option for their best interest?
Me 48yrs, king of douchebagastan- 50yrs STD infected bankrupt NPD sociopathic drunk thief
countless A's, he is a predator that targets losers like himself
Last Dday 04/12/2010-Divorcing if/when his cumdumpsters lend him some $ or balls to file
SuperDuperWonderboy (original poster member #34716) posted at 10:55 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
I am a lawyer, just not always very professional. But good advice.
My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.
redrock ( member #21538) posted at 11:18 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
I guess part of me was still hoping that at one point she would realize that she actually gave a shit about losing me. Of course that's when I realized she doesn't
.
I think that she does give a shit about you. And your family.
But...
She can't do it. The work. Facing it. The self examination. The million little painful steps that it takes to get through the shitstorm that is infidelity.
If she is not used to carrying the load in the marriage/relationship-- it is a big freaking change to step up to it and take that burden. She wants to vere back to that old groove. Even through force and intimidation.
That doesn't have anything to do with your worth as a husband, partner and father.
I am sorry that it has come to this.
I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)
StepAside ( member #29826) posted at 12:00 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012
I am a lawyer, just not always very professional.
gotcha.
Me 48yrs, king of douchebagastan- 50yrs STD infected bankrupt NPD sociopathic drunk thief
countless A's, he is a predator that targets losers like himself
Last Dday 04/12/2010-Divorcing if/when his cumdumpsters lend him some $ or balls to file
dead_inside ( member #3438) posted at 12:05 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012
Make sure your lawyer hat is firmly in place!
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