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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:31 PM on Monday, December 9th, 2013
Another 2011-er chiming in with a HELL NO. Couldn't pay me enough to do it for a minute. Nope. No way.
Were you 2011's at hell no right away, or did it take some time to get there?
I was at "hell no" on dday, before I even confronted wasband. I never wavered from it, in part due to his amazing ability to be a horse's ass on the regular. 
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 2:39 AM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
I'm not much of a masochist. Once I got to the point where I couldn't see the back of my teeth anymore, I moved straight into the "oh hell no!" category.
Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 3:27 AM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2013
I am a late 2011. Unfortunately I still think about what it would be like he if got his head out of his a**. Highly unlikely. And every day I do get more clarity about why he is not a good spouse for me.
I don't want these feelings. But as my therapist's says, its ok to have these feelings.
Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 2:11 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
I'm a HELL NO person now, but it took me a long time to get there - 3 1/2 years or so.
I think part of my feelings come from the fact that I didn't have a even a chance at R, he was already gone before I even knew what was happening.
^^This was a big part of why it took me so long. I think the abandonment on top of the infidelity (and just after empty nest) completely flattened me. It was a lot to cope with and it took a long time to crawl out of that mess. This crap ain't for sissies, that's for sure.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
AussieMum ( member #36579) posted at 3:07 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
NEVER! Not in a million years, even if he came up my street on his knees. Not if I was offered a world of riches.
And I've been HELL NO from DDay. He disgusts me.
Me 47
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS13 & DD8)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14
Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 3:50 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
Yes...have been in process of R for a year and a half now. 
Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again
Staying together for the kids
D-day 2010
Harriet ( member #34543) posted at 4:01 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
I sometimes do, but I recently had what felt like an epiphany. For the first time, I felt I could handle checking out the "Just Found Out" forum. I came to this site much later and have not strayed much from NB. As I read all of the wisdom and advice in JFO, it came to me, for the first time, that MY ex had done all of those things to me (gaslighting, et al) and I just didn't recognize it in him - I thought...I can't even explain what I thought. And also for the first time, I have kept my boundaries very strict and now he won't speak to me in the very few times we have crossed paths. And I find that it doesn't bother me in the least. For him not to speak to me, he must be upset about something. Compartmentalize that, asshole. 
D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12
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