This Topic is Archived
bionicgal ( member #39803) posted at 4:29 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
(((Jrazz)))
I hope you have a peaceful night.
me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 4:32 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
You know you got all I have to give. I hope, well. I hope.
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 5:05 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Thank you so much for your welcome back in the face of what you have going on.
Sending all my good thoughts and I hope that tomorrow brings better things for the both of you.
(((Jrazz)))
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
918Mama ( member #37756) posted at 5:09 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Did you hear Jem and the holograms are making a new movie?!? 
You have so much love and support coming your way. But if you need someone to junk punch Crazz, I'm sure that can be arranged. 
I'm so sorry Jrazz. Big hugs coming your way.
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 5:12 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
918momma, I'll hold your earrings and then you can hold mine. I have a wicked snap-kick!
Seriously, you know that you're in my heart and in my prayers, luv. I'm praying that tomorrow is a better day for you. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 5:17 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Jrazz (original poster member #31349) posted at 5:19 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
I appreciate where you ladies are coming from, but honestly I don't want to hurt him. Also we should take it easy because he is a member and it's one of my fondest hopes that he comes here someday for help.
I feel sorry for him. He had a childhood of judgement and confusion, and he learned to protect himself by lying, and to grab at good times where he can. There is a kindness in him, but when he feels a flicker of emotion other than anger he doesn't know how to process it and the flight response kicks in. He just wants to be happy, but he's a shitty partner along the way because he is completely devoid of empathy.
I don't know if any of this is making sense. I want us both to be happy, but we live in different realities, and the one he constructs around himself scares the crap out of me.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
918Mama ( member #37756) posted at 5:22 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Oh Jrazz...
I couldn't like you more. To have that kind of compassion for him still...it's very admirable.
I hope you are able to work out a reality that you can both thrive in.
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti
Jrazz (original poster member #31349) posted at 5:26 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Oh I'm no saint... I used up my next ten years worth of curse words in two texts and a short phone call tonight. 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
918Mama ( member #37756) posted at 5:42 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
**snort**
There's no emoticon for that. But that made me belly laugh Jrazz.
Hang in there friend. And if you need 'em, I can loan you some of my profanity! :-)
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 5:44 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Oh no.... I am so sorry to hear about this.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 5:44 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
(((((Jrazz)))))
Sending lots of prayers and mojo for you.
I know you will be ok. You're awesome like that! But I want to give you a hug anyway. ((((Another hug))))
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
ShellyShell ( member #42662) posted at 5:49 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Girl those curse words were God's work! That's what the creator intended for him to hear. LOL! Your sainthood is preserved. :)
Hugs and laughs make everything better! Sending you both.
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 5:57 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
t/j
HI Rebreather!!!!
end t/j
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
Jrazz (original poster member #31349) posted at 5:59 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
I'll take all the hugs you can spare.
Can I just say that I'm getting lots of happiness that tired girl is posting on my thread?
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 6:05 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Ahhh Jrazz. I feel horrible that you are going through this again. As I know what you are feeling.
I was going to say earlier but wasn't sure if I should or not that I know exactly what you are talking about when you explained a little of what you are dealing with.
The desire to protect yourself in these situations can be strong. I am glad that you are staying so connected to your daughter.
Big hugs. I hope tomorrow he comes through for you.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 6:17 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
I hope you manage some sleep tonight. Sorry you're going through this.
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 11:31 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Jrazz,
It's early morning here, even earlier there! I hope you were able to get some rest.
Sending love your way today.
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 12:26 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
I read this and cried.
He had a childhood of judgement and confusion, and he learned to protect himself by lying, and to grab at good times where he can. There is a kindness in him, but when he feels a flicker of emotion other than anger he doesn't know how to process it and the flight response kicks in. He just wants to be happy
I so understand this. 
(((hugs))) to you both. I know you are hurting.He is too, in a different, self-inflicted way, but still hurting.
You are so kind and generous to acknowledge his need for help too.
I pray he finds his way and the two of you can continue your healing.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 12:56 PM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Coming back around to ya Jrazz
(((Jrazz)))
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
This Topic is Archived
