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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 9:02 PM on Thursday, July 27th, 2017
Again sorry.
No apologies Texas, you've earned some righteous anger. Getting mad is part of the healing process, however you decide your future path. If you're angry, roll with that for as long as you need.
Vent here early and often.
It helped me a bunch.
That said, I hope your WS starts to get it and stops trying to justify her poor choices. It is always weird at the start of this that somehow cheating is presented as some sort of solution to normal marriage problems. That seems to be where she is at right now, in that early rationalization stage.
Sending strength.
Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca
Texashunter41 (original poster member #59759) posted at 9:11 PM on Thursday, July 27th, 2017
I've been scared to allow myself to vent because another forum I was on I got told that really I shouldn't, just take the advice people were giving and kind of move on type thing or I just didn't want to listen. I take peoples advice and try to use it but like most times it is ineffective with the WW. I have really bad days and just want to type and let it out with some people I can talk with and not be disemboweled for it. But I do it anyway
[This message edited by Texashunter41 at 3:11 PM, July 27th (Thursday)]
41 BH 39 ATA/ MH ‘17
38 WW 36 ATA
Married almost 11 yrs before her affair by one month. DDay 10/26/2016
PA 5/18/15-9/30/16 Emails, Sexting, made sex videos, no protection, phone and Facetimes.
14 yrs together / 13 yr
Texashunter41 (original poster member #59759) posted at 12:13 AM on Friday, July 28th, 2017
Ive never felt a tug o war like this..I just feel numb and soulless now
41 BH 39 ATA/ MH ‘17
38 WW 36 ATA
Married almost 11 yrs before her affair by one month. DDay 10/26/2016
PA 5/18/15-9/30/16 Emails, Sexting, made sex videos, no protection, phone and Facetimes.
14 yrs together / 13 yr
NoLongerAlive ( member #59565) posted at 12:53 AM on Friday, July 28th, 2017
I really hope it's ok to vent here, I am still new but other established members seem to be encouraging it. What's the point of being here if we can't? This should be a safe place and so far all the feedback you have received shows me it is so vent away. And you really need to let your emotions out instead of holding them in. Go somewhere and scream, cry, get out that rage in a safe way (kick boxing, punching bag, etc)...don't keep it all bottled up inside or it will explode in bad ways.
Me (BS); Him (WH)...both early 50's
Married 32 years; 2 adults sons
D-day 19Jun2017
Reconciliation in progress?
harrybrown ( member #59225) posted at 9:26 PM on Friday, July 28th, 2017
Sometimes the damage is too much and you can't get over it.
She did so much for the OM. What does she do for you?
If you can't get over it, ask her for a post nup agreement.
Tell her that you can't get over it and you need her to let you go. let you have your D. She can try all of her efforts after the D to get you back.
She tried so hard for the OM. Now she can try for you.
Will she let you have a threesome? F, F and you?
Would that help you? It usually makes things worse.
Has she ever told you why?
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