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Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 7:17 AM on Saturday, May 28th, 2011
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
Rise_Above ( member #23674) posted at 6:48 AM on Monday, June 6th, 2011
You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli
*****
God's hand was an avocado branch
Junebug0525 ( member #29142) posted at 6:50 AM on Monday, June 6th, 2011
I can read this over and over. I love it!
Me: BS
Him: WXH DDay-11/22/2009~ D~ 10/25/10
OWhore: Co-worker (7 years younger)
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." AND THEY DID!!!
WarInside ( member #31736) posted at 6:54 AM on Monday, June 6th, 2011
There's a lot of truth to what is written here... but as the BS of a WW who cheated with another married man, it's still hard to read.
31-year-old X-BH
29-year-old X-WW
D-Day in October 2010.
Separated In August 2011.
Divorced in March 2012.
Happy again.
Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 3:35 AM on Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 4:05 AM on Thursday, June 16th, 2011
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
jadedheart ( member #32046) posted at 11:37 AM on Thursday, June 16th, 2011
AMEN AMEN AMEN! DBB you are so wise! Thank you for sharing such an awesome post! You have touched many with your words!
Me 45
FWH 47
DS11, DD18, DS21(they know nothing about A)
Married 23 years together 25
Dday 09/24/2010
"You can't control how others behave, you can only control your reaction."
LionessQn76 ( member #32366) posted at 1:22 PM on Thursday, June 16th, 2011
WOW JUST WOW
that is the most empowering speech I have read. thank you girl for this!
Only the strong survives!
forever.haunted ( member #28645) posted at 3:37 PM on Thursday, June 16th, 2011
Amen! OW is not at all on my level. H KNOWS he affaired WAY down and is very ashamed.
And in the end, after H threw OW under the bus, she knew for a fact that she was the "back of the pack" 
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:14 PM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2011
Bump for sad, sad husband
phoenix34 ( member #32007) posted at 8:21 PM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2011
Remind me to read this whenever I feel rubbish about myself!
May 2014 - haven't needed to log on for over two years now!
Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 7:07 AM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2011
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
Rise_Above ( member #23674) posted at 10:04 PM on Thursday, June 30th, 2011
You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli
*****
God's hand was an avocado branch
rockbottom2468 ( member #32496) posted at 10:26 PM on Thursday, June 30th, 2011
After learning more about the OW....I need a *like* button for this post.
Me: BS-29
Him: XH-33
Dday: June 2011
Together: 13 years
Children: DD(8), DS (6), DD2 (8 months)
Status: He left for 20yo OW.
"Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger"
notjessie ( member #32472) posted at 3:53 PM on Saturday, July 2nd, 2011
Thanks to all who bumped this. The original post is great and it does help me to make sense of this--a tiny bit. Or at least gives me another way to look at stuff.
Me 52 BW
Him 54 WH
Married 30+ years
In R, so far
Laura28 ( member #28997) posted at 12:01 AM on Sunday, July 3rd, 2011
HI
Most often he leaves her where he found her, at the end of the row, at the back of the pack – even weaker and more injured than when he found her. She’s worse for the wear.
Who can imagine Arnie playing house with Patty???
Yeh right
Laura
Married 42yrs Me BW 68Yrs Him F?WH 70yrs OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted. Dday May 28 2010. OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years). OW2 2002(8yrs PA). OW3 2009(1Yr PA). Others?? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck 'em"
keepingcalm ( member #32623) posted at 8:24 PM on Monday, July 4th, 2011
So true. I could read this 100 times a day!
ME: 30
WH: 31
Two kids, 2 and 4
DD: April 2011 (he denies)
UKgirl ( member #17062) posted at 3:44 PM on Tuesday, July 19th, 2011
Bumping for a newbie. 
Affair1: Dday 30/07/06 LTA: 5yrs ex-fiancee Affair2: Dday 04/09/20 9mths another XHSgf.Me/BS, still young. Him/WS, old. 4 grown boysHaving an affair because you are unhappy is like eating Ex-lax because you are hungry - unfound's mom
kitkat22 ( member #29877) posted at 4:32 PM on Tuesday, July 19th, 2011
I read this post before just after D-Day and it helped me so much. After re-reading it now, just as I am approaching my first antiversary, it means sooooo much more and it is all true. He did affair way down, he did toss her aside immediately for me, and he has done everything in his power since to make our marriage whole again. Thank you for this delicious post...I love it.
Vanity Working on a Weak Mind Produces Every Kind of Mischief...Jane Austin
D-Day - September 3, 2010, 5:30 am
Currently in reconciliation and happy.
Married 22 years, together 23
fenrustf ( new member #32683) posted at 5:08 PM on Tuesday, July 19th, 2011
That's funny... I had this exact conversation with a friend who also had a WW.
In my case my WS betrayed me for another guy who can't be honored with the title of man.
I actually have very little self esteem issues as a result of being betrayed. Without sounding egotistical, I know that I am a great man. I have been a kick ass provider, I'm reasonably good looking, I'm smart and funny, I'm a good father, I stay in shape and I play guitar in a band!
Seriously what woman wouldn't want that?
The OP she was having an affair with is still a boy. He works only 2 hours a day if that and spends the rest of his time playing video games. In short he is the epitome of a douche bag! I still can't wrap my brain around why my WW would throw away all the things I gave to her but I know it has everything to do with her.
I gave her the life she wanted - there was nothing that she was without.
In my case I truly believe that my WW was not ready to grow up and was not happy with her life as a house wife. I can understand to a point about not being satisfied with her daily life but she knew that it was only temporary. She had been staying home to raise our young son but as soon as he started going to school she was going to get another job and become more independant again.
The irony is that we were almost there - she had only a few more months to wait before she would have had what she needed. So close to the end and she got weak. She threw it all away.
But I have not taken a hit to the ego in the process! I must be a rarity. At least I have that going. Now I will have to struggle through a difficult divorce process and adjust to becomming a single father - that's what scares me. But I know I'm strong and I will get through it.
Thanks so much for this topic!
BS: Me (33)
WS: Her (25)
1 kid - 3 1/2 year old boy
DDay - June 22 2011
DDay #2 - July 22 2011 (trippy huh?)
Married 2007
OP: 23, former "friend" and neighbor
Deciding whether to R or D
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