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ok

well i tried to work out why her?

yes she is pretty-slimmer than me-but different than me.

she has also been married 4 times and to the best of my knowledge told my ws she had had 3 affairs prior to him!like she should get a medal for it!

why would you be so stupid to think thta's a good thing to tell someone?

She was also not the brightest bulb in the box!

Me-I am younger than her-naturally blonde still at 45,have never dyed my hair-and i'm not a dumb blonde either :)Now I'm average size (thanks to not wanting to eat) but I wasn't that big to start with.I now it doesn't matter about looks now.

WS did say that he did feel superior to her-it was another dawning realization this weekend when we discussed her character-he admitted he just noticed these flaws initially but brushed them aside-

I feel we are getting somewhere that he admits she wasn't as marvelous as once thought!

He definitely affaired down

I also thought today that if the OW(plural) were lesser than me in the eyes of my stbxh than I guess the same applies to him in the eyes of the OW who were cheating on their H's?

I don't think that side of it has occurred to him yet.

Ellejay

Yep Ellejay. They both affaired down. He affaired down with because she was easy meat, a guarantee through their previous history, someone who felt entitled and didn’t give a shit about anyone but herself. She could never measure up to me. She affaired down with WH because he was a man willing to cheat on his wife, a man who had no morals about fucking another man’s wife and who paid for it all on expenses.

They always affair down because decent people don’t have affairs.

Thank you so much. At first I obsessed about what they looked like (imagination only). Then I found one weighed more than me and the other is 12 years older. I was shocked at that one. I had just assumed they were better than me. I still struggle with this so thank you.

I hate that she is younger (22) I hate that she is skinny... though I am too...

but... she knows about me... she knows about my kids... so obviously she is ok with a deadbeat dad and a deadbeat husband... I agree she accepts him at his worse.. which I WILL Not do... I deserve better!

Thank you!!!! Although I am 4 months out I still compare myself to her. I might have to keep rereading this post.

This is probably the post that helped me the most in my darkest hour.

Thank you!

Me too, thank you! I am 4 1/2 months out from D-Day and agree they affair down. I think to make themselves feel better. The only thing my WH AP has is a Dentist for a husband so a much bigger home, more toys, expensive cars and more money.... I laugh thinking that she thought my WH could leave me and give her this? Not after his huge alimony and he is in construction, we barely make ends meet and I am happy with what I have :)

Last night my 13 year old DD said to me (and she was laughing at the time). "Mum, I'm not just saying this, but I found some pictures on Dad's cell phone the other day of OW2. They were normal pictures, nothing bad. BUT......God she's ugly!! Don't tell Dad I said that though because I don't want to hurt his feelings".

I didn't have the heart to tell her that it really isn't anything about looks, it's about finding someone with the same low morals as he has. I won't destroy her image of her Dad though. I'm sure she'll come to that realisation in her own time, in her own way.

Ellejay

If only we could share photos of these pathetic AP here. I showed a picture of FWH's blowjob biker bitch, to my BAN friends (beyond affairs network), they were horrified. There was an audible gasp and then "Oh my god, she looks like Cruella de Ville!"

[This message edited by isthisforreal at 9:32 AM, October 13th (Thursday)]

This was just the post I needed to lift my spirits today. The OW was 11 years younger than me and thinner, but I agree, they definitely affair down. Cause no "real" woman would stoop to that level. There's a reason they were just sleeping with them and married to us, isn't there? N ot every ho you can bring home to momma...

I didn't have the heart to tell her that it really isn't anything about looks, it's about finding someone with the same low morals as he has.

Ellejay, WEll said

( how do you do the quotes)

[This message edited by emotiona hell at 11:04 PM, October 13th (Thursday)]

Love, love love this! Thank you sooooo much! Wish I read this 5 months ago!

this was a gift to me this morning. I know in my heart he affaired down, but my insecurities take over and I think, I need to be thinner, prettier, better sex, understanding,.,,,,agggggg

I know that I am much better looking that she, but she is skinny, and I am not heavy but not skinny. I am 5 months out and still needed this.

Beautifully stated and all so very true! Thank you for this post, it is highly up-lifting!

Bump

One of the all time great posts on SI! Bump. Bump. Bump.

Helped mr tremendously in the early going when my self-esteem was rocked.

Many thanks!

For StrgrThanIThght.

Wow, what a great post. In my sitch, the MOW was the predator, and my WS was the weakest in the herd at her workplace. She picked him off by stroking his ego on a daily basis.

I found out from her BS that she was married before, and cheated on her first husband the same way. A fact, BTW, she neglected to tell my WS. He thought he knew her so well. So well, in fact that he destroyed a two-decade relationship with me. Ain't that a slap in the face for him?

Great post!!!