SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Well it seems that pos was fucking another woman at the same time he was fucking w/s It seems that he was fucking another grad student for the last month at least, who was also married. Not sure if that means he was going to dump w/s or keep all three women. And thanks to his recording fetish, POS’s wife has videos. Yes, she did tell slut #2’s wife. Yes, slut #2 is married to another woman. Pos’s wife gave me a thumb drive with some of the videos and screenshots of texts messages if I want to show w/s

So the OBS goes from being digitally clueless when you went over there, to now finding this stuff on her own and adept enough to get it on a stick?

And you told us you search that home computer by looking at every file with the video and image suffixes.

Your thread reads like a story board. It reads that way because you never answer any questions posed to you. There is nothing to fill in around what you tell us.

Your "Reverse Dday" on your WW with the new video and info about the OM does fit how you have chosen to handle this from the beginning.

Just like a WW cannot ever truly "make up for" their betrayal, A BS cannot ever truly even the score.

2018,

Trying to get this straight.

So over appetizers you meet the other betrayed spouse, who originally allowed you to enter her computer, you, a stranger she doesn’t know from jack, and download porno videos of your wife and her husband, and now she found more pornos of her husband and another woman, which you are gleefully happy about that you’re cheating wife’s cheating boyfriend cheated on her too while cheating on her with his own wife but cheating with another lover is somehow happy inducing and other betrayed spouse gave you videos of her cheating husband with another woman so you are now in possession of porno tapes of two people you don’t know having sex and you’ve now called for an IT guy to go thru other betrayed spouses computer and her cheating husbands phone so you can have a third party supposedly search for more videos of your spouse and other betrayers spouse having sex while possibly finding more sex videos of other betrayed spouse and other women having sex and other betrayed spouse agrees to the IT guy rummaging through her personal computer and her husbands phone because IT guy is solely looking for sex videos so he is not possibly a harm to anything personal, other than sex videos, that could be found in either her computer or her cheating husbands phone and any videos found of her husband having sex your wife or any other women is now yours to keep.

And, you ask for and receive advice about threesomes and annulment, then say nah, not me.

I think it all makes perfect sense.

^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^You nailed it sweetie. This is one strange trip.

I hope the IT guy isn’t the drunk friend from the other night that posted in New Beginnings on your behalf...

ETA: Sorry the “underage” drunk friend that stole your phone while you guys were out at bars.

[This message edited by Loukas at 8:55 PM, April 6th (Friday)]

Wait!!! Hold the phone. Stop the press! I promise I am being serious here. You mentioned OBS has been in possession of her WH's phone since DDAY!?? I can't leave for the market without mine. How long has it been now? I lost track but at least days?

Sorry for the T/j but I can't imagine being separated from my phone for so long. That *could* be punishment enough. lol

"TimelessLoss"

So the OBS goes from being digitally clueless when you went over there, to now finding this stuff on her own and adept enough to get it on a stick?

And you told us you search that home computer by looking at every file with the video and image suffixes.

Your thread reads like a story board. It reads that way because you never answer any questions posed to you. There is nothing to fill in around what you tell us.

Sorry, we here at the publishing company don't usually produce the cliff note until after we have gone to paperback.

However, here is a sneak peak at what we are putting together:

And thanks to his recording fetish, POS’s wife has videos. Yes, she did tell slut #2’s wife. Yes, slut #2 is married to another woman. Pos’s wife gave me a thumb drive with some of the videos and screenshots of texts messages if I want to show w/s

And....

Last night I asked pos’s wife if I could bring a friend that is in IT to look at her computer to and his phone (he hasn’t had it since their DDay) to find and destroy anything.

Hazard to guess what he was using to facilitate his recording fetish especially the close up action shots???? That's right a phone.....

What's one thing many people who can't work computers well tend to still know there way around from daily use.??? That's right a phone.....

What did the OBS have.... it's in the notes.

Sometimes information comes in the course of the details. But this is real life, and the action is happening, and there are often more important things grab the OP's focus beside clarifying details! And because this is essentially happening now, it's dynamic and the posts are not independent but interdependent...

T/j

Smilethru,

OM is very young if I remember correctly.

Are young people really tied to their phones? Do they really care about leaving their phones with their betrayed spouses even if they contain self made pornos? Pornos that might be shared with strangers?

I’m not young so I really don’t know about that generation. Maybe they just don’t care about cell phones as much as us older generation do?

2018, I just look forward to you answering my post in detail. Which I’m sure you will.

[This message edited by Greeneyesbluezy at 9:45 PM, April 6th (Friday)]

T/j seadoug,

If 2018 hasn’t given you authority to answer on his behalf, I’ll just wait for 2018 to answer.

Good try tho.

Really! Back to this again....

It amazes me how people, again feel entitled to information n their terms, explained to their satisfaction...

We are here on a site dedicated to helping people survive infidelity.... and people are all butt-hurt that they can't understand something.

I think it's also safe to assume, that once WS was served AP probably deleted his Text history etc with her just in case he gets confronted about their texting. And a common peace of advice here for a BS if the hope to R is to demand immediate transparency. That means phones emails etc. since we don't know when he knew OBS knew, he might very well have been a little off gaurd when she confronted him,... so when confronted it is not inconceivable that he was told "if you want a chance at us, I need access to your phone now". It's also not inconceivable that this AP/WS was in a panic and didn't think she would look past the empty text thread with OW1 (WS). Because like so many WS he probably thought he was smarter than everyone else.

Everybody handles being cheated on differently. What worked for me may not work for someone else.

Just because you dont agree with it makes you right.

Maybe the POSOM wife took his phone and hid it. Same for the computer. Who knows her reasons...

T/j seadoug,

If 2018 hasn’t given you authority to answer on his behalf, I’ll just wait for 2018 to answer.

Good try tho.

Of course because it's all about your wants and needs, on your terms of course... not the BS..

Funny isn't that why so many BS wind up here......

Are you sure you are posting in the correct forum......

T/j

Seadoug,

Please don’t attempt to answer to what is common or uncommon. This thread is specific to 2018.

I’m sure he can answer any questions here. It’s his thread and he has been responsive throughout the thread.

Perhaps, if you feel so strongly about these matters, you can create you own thread to address such matters that seem to matter so much to you.. End t/j

2018, I look forward to your specific answers to the last few posts.

Maybe OM had more than one phone? He had more than one OW. (shrug)

Guys, I haven’t had time to read your comments since this afternoon I will Later. But things aren’t good right now

She told her boss that she would drop off letter of resignation next week

I told her about slut #2 and showed her everything

She has been in full meltdown mode since then.

Her sister and a friend have come over to help, butThere is no talking to her.

I don’t know what is going on in her head right now. If she is seeing pos for what he is and that she was just a piece of ass for him, I’m thinking that it is a good thing. If she is “mourning” losing pos, I’m freakin pissed!!!!!

Sister and friend are here right now and we’ve agreed that one of us will be at least in the room awake at all times. I’m going to try and get a nap in so I can take over in a bit

ON TOPIC: Respect the original posters' intent and avoid threadjacking. Feel free to start new topics to discuss general subject matter in other threads, but do not refer to specific topics or threads outside of their original location.

She is probably just now realizing the magnitude of everything she has lost -- her husband, marriage, children, job, and now her fantasy. Please consider getting her some help. Years ago when my daughter had a meltdown and attempted suicide, we had to place her in a mental health facility where she could get round the clock care. Your wife may need more help/attention than family is able to provide.

The meltdown could be just that she feels incredibly foolish and humiliated, that she risked her marriage for by having this affair.

That she's hurt you, lost the respect of your kids all for a man who was double cheating on his wife.

Plus the realisation that she was nothing special and he probably lied and told her she was.

I hope things will settle a bit.

I highly doubt she is mourning the OM. She is morning losing all of you over following her base instincts with a POS like him.

Can you get her an emergency appointment with her therapist? He or she may know the best way to calm her down and talk through it with her.

Sending thoughts of strength your way.

My opinion she is morning the loss of the POSOM because you caught her and forced the end. Id feel different if she confessed on her own.

Its been too soon for her not to feel this way. She got a NC letter from POSOM and as a result of that she wants to come back to you.

She melted down because she thought POSOM was honorable in her own way. She was upset what she feels that he is cheating on her with another woman. She believed she may have had a future with him. Now she realizes she was nothing but a sex toy for him.

She could have been hoping after the divorce she could run to him. That ended with what you showed her.

[This message edited by Txquail at 7:57 AM, April 7th (Saturday)]

I agree. I highly doubt she is worried about the POS. Strength to you and your family. Prayers for you and your children and for your WW as well. She now has to realize she lost everything in her life due to her own weakness and selfishness and with a worthless POS. She is not the first and will not be the last misguided middle aged spouse looking at becoming an empty nester, who succumbs to a much younger person who tells them what they want to hear and creates a fantasy. We see these stories everyday on this forum for both males and females. You have done better than most to demonstrate to your WW the pain and destruction she has caused to you and your children.

Midnight Run noted that you know your wife better than anyone and not to push her over the cliff. You have acted decisively and you have also been aware of your WW’s emotional state and you have had her in the house in the last week to watch her. She told you she has thought about self harm every day but that she could not do that to you and her children. But she now may be at that point. She needs the help of mental professionals. Perhaps she should be institutionalized. I wish her a return to good health.

In the meantime please carry on with the divorce and detach so you and your children can move on in your lives. In order for you and your children to heal you need to detach from the source of your pain. I believe after the most recent revelations she will give up any thoughts of reconciliation and she will agree to leave you alone and get out of your life. There is no more need for shock and awe. Good luck.