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2018MLMM,

IMO you have done all that was needed. Went nuk and with a defined path.

As you know, the anger, sadness, depression, etc are really intense and consulta in waves. These feelign can play tricks on your mind, trying to give a logic yo her actions and your reactions.

I belive you shouldnt act over your feelign unless they dientes change in a period of time. Do not make any dicision or promisse un a while.

Also dont assume anything. It doesnt mean you should belive your WW, she is proven líder. Just try to see different angles.

IMO your WW is not greving OM, she just realise that she not just derrotes her family for a Guy she doent even care , but that she was also usted as a sperm urinal.

She believe OM was a nice guy that couldnt control the atracction to her. Now she know that she meant nothing, all was a lie. That she destroyed her family and career not just for a side fun but for a total POS.

The good thing is that anybgood memory from her affair is probably gobernador for good now (but you Will never know for sure)

Good idea to keep an eye ok her , she is facign reallity ofvher actions but may be too much. She Will always be your kids mother, so for your kids sake she needs yo put her self toguether.

Also for your kids future education she should keep her job and income.she should at least get legal advise about her job situation.

IMO the final gold should be detach, not worry about what she feels or does. You should try to focus on you and your kids. This way you Will give your WW a break as well.

Good luck

(((2018)))

I’m sorry things have gone sideways. Please having a mental health professional available for her. Then make an appointment for yourself as you are dealing with yet another trauma. Sending encouragement and strength.

She is with her counselor now. Different sister is in waiting room, I’m in the car waiting

None of this makes sense to me

She fucks around on me, for months then when shown the truth she falls apart, who is the poor dumb bastard that picks up her shit?????

I’m absolutely stuck right now. If I kick her out of the house, like I want to and should, she will do something almost as bad as what she has been doing!!!!!!

Once she is stabilized.......

I know none of this is fair, I’ve hit the wall!!!! I’m the one that was wronged! She was the one that was fucking a sleazebag! I played by the all the rules!!!! And now I’m the one that everyone is looking to to clean the shit off her!!!! It is her shit, why am I not allowed to let it stay there??? I’m suppposed to be the knight in shining armor??? Fuck NO!!! She can go to hell!!!!!!

And now with this, I can see how this is going to play out, everyone will say that she had a mental breakdown and use it as the excuse for everything!!! And I’ll be th bad guy who couldn’t see her illness and bolted because of her “condition”

Fuck this

All of it

Fuck her

Let her get back with pos and they can live happily ever after

If she is seeing pos for what he is and that she was just a piece of ass for him, I’m thinking that it is a good thing. If she is “mourning” losing pos, I’m freakin pissed!!!!!

2018MLMM

I highly doubt she is mourning the OM.

Stevesn

I agree with Stevesn. She never had plans to run away with the OM. People use various ways to rationalize their affair.

I think she used that the OM liked her and she was special. “I’m not a piece of meat. We like each other and this is just some innocent fun that no one will know about.”

I told her about slut #2 and showed her everything

She has been in full meltdown mode since then.

2018MLMM

This removed the last leg remaining on her stool of self respect.

[This message edited by Michigan at 9:05 AM, April 7th (Saturday)]

I know none of this is fair, I’ve hit the wall!!!! I’m the one that was wronged! She was the one that was fucking a sleazebag! I played by the all the rules!!!! And now I’m the one that everyone is looking to to clean the shit off her!!!! It is her shit, why am I not allowed to let it stay there??? I’m suppposed to be the knight in shining armor??? Fuck NO!!! She can go to hell!!!!!!

And now with this, I can see how this is going to play out, everyone will say that she had a mental breakdown and use it as the excuse for everything!!! And I’ll be th bad guy who couldn’t see her illness and bolted because of her “condition”

2018MLMM

I understand what you’re saying and agree with most of it. You have been handed a bad hand and now all you can do is play it smart.

Calm down. Slow and steady, Stay on course whih is to divorce her. Calmly let people know that’s your goal.

Tell them that she’s the mother of your children and that you want to help her as much as you can but you will ultimately divorce her.

Don’t debate them of get mad. Tell them that you would love to forgive her but after what you saw in the videos you just can't.

Tell you’ve made up your mind and that's it. Then ask them what we can all do to help her.

Think of her as being on death row. Her sentence is final, deserved and severe. Be as nice to her as you can until the sentence is carried out. Then you will be the good guy.

[This message edited by Michigan at 9:22 AM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Just got off the phone with her father.

Gave him status report and told him that she is not coming back to my house and her family needs to decide where she is going. I will drop her off and sister can come back to my house to pack up a few things for her!

Listening to Alice Cooper’s No More Mr Nice Guy. Going o listen to it all day!

Any other suggests songs to playlist I’m going to Label “ Fuck Her, She’s Out!” Might even have it blaring as I sit down, get drunk, and watch all her favorite videos!!!!

Thank you everyone for your support and wisdom.

The divorce is still months away, but April 7th is going to be the day that I consider myself completely single! The legal paperwork will just have to catch up to me!

From this point on, I’m going to have one theme when dealing with this shitshow

Not My Circus, Not My Monkey!!!!

And it’s sure as hell no longer my life!!!!

I read her thread. Next time I will talk to her, I want to see that tattoo on her neck. It will be a condition of me talking to her.

“No more Mr. Nice Guy!!

She’s sick! She’s Obscene!!!”

Yeah, I’m singing out loud and changing the lyrics

[This message edited by 2018MLMM at 9:39 AM, April 7th (Saturday)]

You don't have to be the Knight, and you're certainly not the bad guy. Her friends and relatives know that it's all on her.

It's noble, however, that you're concerned about her self harm and the impact it might have on your kids.

Look at it this way: You're helping your kids in the long run by helping her stabilize.

You don’t know what is happening in her mind right now but you are right, you are not responsible for healing her.

You have done all you can to ensure she is safe and her family can take it from here. After handing her off to her family you need to work on yourself and your kids.

2018, I can’t remember, but are you in IC? If so probably good you contact your counselor and get yourself an emergency session too. If not, please please please find one this week and start working with them. Perhaps her IC can recommend one for you.

It’s time she heal on her own. Let her do that with her family as her primary caregiver for now. You have done all you can right now. Keep in touch with her parents and sisters for a while and be NC with your WW for the next few weeks.

Our goal with her was that she have some hope for healing and not hurt herself. You have given that to the best to your abilities.

Time to focus on you now. I’m worried about you going to a very dark place too and that’s not good for your children. Make sure you get the support you need. As has been said here many times “affix your own oxygen mask before assisting others”.

Please post any questions you may have.

Take care. Glad to be of support to you.

[This message edited by Stevesn at 9:42 AM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Dude.

Are You in Counseling?

I know that my wife has been trying to get on to this site. She found it without me telling her about. But she realized that I too must be on here and we agreed that we would not look at each other’s threads. I have no idea what her name is here and I hope I never find out.

I read her thread. Next time I will talk to her, I want to see that tattoo on her neck. It will be a condition of me talking to her.

Was she notified you changed your mine on this mutual decision?

Little Liar - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, for your playlist.

She'll probably stabilize, but her family should assume she's suicidal and act accordingly.

Stay away from the booze if you can, and get counseling. Your kids need at least one functioning parent.

I thought you weren't going to read each others thread.

Yes, told her, sister and Frined I was going to read her thread. Said I needed to know if she ever talked about hurting herself.

She nodded and other two agreed

Even if she didn’t nod I was going do it because we were in a crisis/emergency situation.

Nothing about suicide, but plenty of poor me and setting ground work to manipulate me! And nothing in it that changed my mind about anything

[This message edited by 2018MLMM at 10:34 AM, April 7th (Saturday)]

I agree thar she'd be best going to stay with her family.

Her meltdown seems really bad ftom your update and I empathise with you.

Probably seems like she's seen what her love/lover was up yo and that's hurt her pretty bad.

If she was over him, then the reaction seems extreme IMO

My understanding from your update ...is that you're done with this marriage as of today... as a direct result of her reaction to the the OMs other OW.

Another for your playlist, You Lied - Green Day

She never cried like this over me!!!

Oh, she cried!!! But it is clear as daybin her thread, she was crying that she got caught!

She was crying because she was no longer viewed as Little Miss Perfect Wife/Mother!

She was crying because she was going to get fired!

She was crying because she lost her comfortable life!

She never even asked me how I was doing?!?!?!

What a heartless bitch!!!!!

Sorry for the venting

Dropping. Her off at parents. What a tender scene!!! Both parents rush out to greet her with hugs and kisses. Then escort her into their loving home.

I want to throw up

Waiting on sister to come out so I can drive her to my home so she can get her some of stbxw’s stuff.

You've experienced a nuclear bomb that has leveled the emotional landscape.

Take cover: get counseling, vent.

2018MLMM,

You really need to start focusing un tour kids and your self and give your WW a break.

Life is notbfair, you are in Shell youvdidnt askbfor ir even were consultes, you a a víctimas here and your wife deseves all that is happening to her. But you need to think un your kids....

Dont ever think for a sec that your chidreen arevin a better place than you, they may be Young adults but as you they are in a emotional roller coaster. The diffrence is that you can D your WW, but she will be her mother forever. Your kids Will always need their mom no Matter what she did. They Will change their mind with time. That why you need to focus on you and detach!

Stop carring what your WW does , also stop protecting her, It is not your job any more.

Give the space yo your kids sobthey can decide what yo do on their own. And ley their mother put her shit toguether!

I al pro D and IMO you are doing the rigth thing, so keep moving!