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Stronger, short answer, no.

1 test on Friday in an elective Will be in school on Thursday. Her Advanced Placement exams are still weeks away.

And all seniors are on glide path for rest of the year.

I’m thinking this trip is more beneficial to her well being.

[This message edited by 2018MLMM at 10:29 PM, April 8th (Sunday)]

I thank everyone for their advice on the issue of my mini vacation with my daughter. As I said previously, it was suggested by my counselor and I wholeheartedly agree with it. We haven’t been in the state for 12 hours yet, but the benefits are already apparent.

If you disagree with it, then it does not mean I wish you to stop adding your comments to this thread. On the contrary, please continue to do so, it is just that on this topic, we are going to have to agree to disagree. You comments have been a huge help, even if I didn’t respond to you.

Now if you don’t mind, I need to get a giant rice crispy treat in the shape if mickey’s head dipped in chocolate and catch boat shuttle back to the hotel. On the boat ride to the hotel we need to decide a very important question about the future.... tomorrow, should we go to Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, or Animal Kingdom?

Thank you once again, Everyone of you!

[This message edited by 2018MLMM at 10:28 PM, April 8th (Sunday)]

Geez, some of you mean well but you need to take a chill pill

Enjoy the time with your Senior, 2018 and try to distract yourself and her from the chaos at home. Your daughter probably needs the reassurance of some one on one time with a sane parent.

I just had a great one on one weekend with my Senior. It was time well spent.

Good luck to you.

2018

Enjoy some time away. I’m glad you have this time with your DD. It’s good that you are talking to her about the importance of having a relationship with her mother. I will take years to rebuild, but a lifetime is a long time.

While your WW’s actions were some of the worst that can be levied on a family, there are times each of us do things we require forgiveness for. Forgiveness takes time and effort. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiveness doesn’t mean R is required or possible. Giving it means you are deserving to get it sometime when you need someone to give it to you.

I am hoping your WW’s reaction was because she realized she threw away her life for a POS and not because she was still pining away for the asshole. It be very disappointing if it were the latter.

But whatever it is, I want to recognize your pain. A few weeks ago you thought you had a happy marriage. You haven’t talk a lot about how it was, but I don’t get the impression you were having issues (not that having an A was a proper response if you were).

So you lost your marriage, your lover and I assume your best friend in one fell swoop. That is very difficult to handle. And the strength you have shown while that occurred is incredible. I want to recognize how painful this has been for you.

I’m glad you’re still here posting. I’m glad you are willing to listen to and consider other viewpoints.

Enjoy the time with DD. Keep the conversation going.

Take care.

Ps. I think Hollywood studios is still a bit under construction. Good choice on Port Orleans it’s a family fave for us. And try the chocolate covered frozen bananas.

[This message edited by Stevesn at 11:08 PM, April 8th (Sunday)]

Thank you Stevesn

I vote Animal Kingdom!

I hope you and DD are having a nice relaxing break from reality. A little down time will be great for your and her mental health.

From what you have posted DD really shouldn’t be exposed to your WW’s turmoil right now so relax and enjoy.

2018MLMM, I agree with the vacation as well. All affected family members should get a chance to step away for a time, gather their thoughts, let it all soak and process the impact that infidelity has on their own self, then return with a more calm sense of the situation and the ability to communicate their feelings on the matter.

BTW, my son is there as well with his choir group on a school sponsored trip. You guys may cross paths.

My only word of warning for your trip -

I need to get a giant rice crispy treat in the shape if mickey’s head dipped in chocolate

Yeah, be careful with that one. That shit is like crack. You just might end up filling your carry on with a dozen or more of those.

If it’s 4am, I must be tossing and turning wide awake

If you enjoy rides, Avatar is awesome! If you go to the Magic Kingdom, find Gaston by his tavern. He's worth meeting. Also get a Lafew's Brew and split a cinnamon bun with your DD while you are there.

If you're in epcot, Via Napoli Pizzeria e Ristorante is the best pizza in Disney.

We just came back from Disney after Christmas. I'm yearning to go back.

We stayed at Port Orleans about 3 years ago, it was a blast.

Have a great time!

[This message edited by Wool94 at 5:22 AM, April 9th (Monday)]

Enjoy 2018!

I hope you both get a great pair of Mickey ears. Be sure to get a photo in front of the Castle you can cherish - forever!

And try to sleep! Disney is brutally on the feet.

I'm glad this

Will call son and my brother to let them know where we are, and NO ONE ELSE

became this

I left my travel plans with several people, including my son, brother, and yes, her father and one of her sisters. I included flight #’s, where we are staying, and when we are returning. I did NOT tell her about this because she is in not in a good place right now. How ever I did ask her father to let her know about the trip

Please keep in mind what you noted in an earlier post with regard to your WS

"I don’t know what is going on in her head right now. If she is seeing pos for what he is and that she was just a piece of ass for him, I’m thinking that it is a good thing. If she is “mourning” losing pos, I’m freakin pissed!!!!!"

I doubt she is morning the loss of the man as she had already gone NC and appeared to be making an effort to learn what the right thing was in terms of R. I'm not all suggesting you should R, but as a decent person I am encouraging you to try to redirect your emotions away from anger and hurt into pity and forgiveness toward her. No one wants to be pitied, but frankly I think at least half of the WS deserve it because they were weak and short sighted and completely blew up their lives and their families lives for something that ended up being completely meaningless. I encourage you to forgive her not for her, but for your sake and your children's'. Forgiveness doesn't mean you stay in the marriage or forget it ever happened. It means you let it go and move on and still try to remember this person has positive qualities (at a minimum she gave you to great kids). No one wants to be a bitter, anger, and unforgiving, person and I think we would like to think our children won't be that either. Teach by example.

As a BS I admit that it took as much or more energy for me to attempt to meet this high expectation and I didn't achieve it. But by trying to be as good as possible in terms of the person I would like to be (for me, not my spouse!!) I did improve a little bit and I believe I was able to learn and grow from a horrible experience because of the effort I made. Yes, I resent I was forced into the situation to work so hard, but I did grow as aperson.

As for your STBXW, she could be imploding because she has realized she threw her entire life (yes everything from livelyhood, to children and even you) away because she fell for some guys lines. Who wouldn't feel like a complete fool and hate themselves. She is going to have to work very hard to forgive herself, and until she does that she is going to be completely incapable of thinking of or supporting anyone else. I'm going to repeat that because I think few BS consider this...a person who hates themselves and thinks they are unworthy CANNOT support and care for others. So don't expect her to ask about you, she could be too damaged to do so.

A healthy person could not decide to be in a partnership with such an unhealthy person. So again I'm not encouraging you to R. But have some compassion intermixed with your hurt and sadness. When you feel angry try to morph it into what it likely really is loss, disappointment, bewilderment and confusion from behavior from someone you felt you knew. I'm not a believer in anger being a base emotion, but think it is an emotion we substitute in when we want to avoid the emotion we are really having. I think you will move on faster and recover if you go ahead and feel the emotions your really having (BTW, my experience with this is it will be soul crushingly painful and seem unbearable, but if you grit down and let those feelings happen they will subside and you will feel better).

I also ask that you find the strength to encourage her to focus on forgiving herself and telling her this mistake doesn't have to destroy her life. That while you two may divorce her children will continue to love her, and because they are good people they can and will work their way to forgiving her, and that she can move on from this point. Be a better person than most and give her this encouragement. This mistake of hers does not have to define the rest of your life, or her life (regardless of whether you R or not).

Sorry for all the preaching, and I hope your vacation was enjoyable.

Im a BH, his story is similar to mine (2018....) his is now mine was over a decade ago.

2018 needs to deal with event in his own way. I've seen waywards come here and blast him hows he's not doing things right or not doing this right. Best ones are how badly he's treating his WW. I remind you it wasn't him to destroyed the marriage. It was his WW who betrayed him. A result of betrayal is loss of trust of the BH in his WW. Lost of respect in his WW. Lost of everything they built as a couple as everything becomes jaded.

2018, I don't blame you at all for what you are doing to you WW. The instant your WW began an affair, she was harming you. To top it off, she's not sorry for what she's done to you but sorry she got caught. All the lies, all the deception and the dishonor she has brought upon you and your children.

I too showed everything to my WW about her POSOM. I too gave all this to the POSOM. In the end it was necessary for me to get over it. It also was to show her the pain she caused me and the pain she caused another mans wife and family.

I never could forgive her for it. I had to go away. Was she broken, yes she was. She's the one who created the situation and at the end of the day, I wasn't going to be the one to put her back together again. I tried briefly to work things out but I just couldn't get over it. I could never look at her the same post affair. She changed as a person and I found that person as ugly. She was bringing out the ugly and mean out of me. I decided I couldn't like that and I broke things off and moved a great distance from her. Lucky for me we had no kids so I fell off the face of the earth. Changed numbers and left no trail where I went.

You have every right to take your daughter on holiday. Your WW is in no fit place or state to engage in any of this at the moment.

You're not using her as a pawn at all.

You don't owe anyone answers on here..you aren't in a court of law giving evidence. Some questions don't even warrant a response tbh.

Enjoy yourself. You need a break from the madness.

I, too, had a mini-vacation after D papers were served.

Nothing bolsters the spirit better than sunshine and good conversation.

Enjoy.

I love the Flower and Garden show going on at Epcot now.

Txquail,

No waywards have come here and bashed or criticized 2018MLMM. This is a protected forum - for BS only. The advice you don’t like 2018MLMM receiving is coming from BETRAYED SPOUSES.

Keep in mind also that, by their nature, these forums provide only a limited glimpse into the factual reality of the OP. We only know what the OP reveals. Some OP's may use this as a sounding board, or a way to think, or a place to vent. It is possible that 2018 shows more kindness and mercy IRL than his posts suggest.

Currently on a bus going from Animal Kingdom to Hollywood Studios. Having a fantastic time. Daughter has been doing nothing but tease and make fun of me for being “such a typical dad”. We are both actually laughing and having a great time.

This was SUCH a fantastic idea! Just wish son was with us, but all three of us will be doing this again in June! We have 8 pm reservations at the Sci Fi Dine In restaurant. We’ve never eaten there before. We’ve only ever been to the Prime Time Cafe, and I love it, but not today. We need new traditions.

ButforGrace.... I’m really a nice guy. Very even-keeled and slow to anger. I have NEVER acted like this before. I’m usually mellow and laid back. I’m actually a heck of guy. In fact I’m more than a heck of a guy. I’m like a heck of a guy and a half!

Anyone notice a change in me????? Lol

Everyone else, thanks for the support, comments, and suggestions.

[This message edited by 2018MLMM at 4:18 PM, April 9th (Monday)]

First, isnt it great news that OneTime is back???

We are heading back to hotel and in dire need of ice cream! We obviously didn’t have enough today. Lol

Long but fantastic day. We are approaching hotel so I will edit this post with the details later

Quick summary, daughter doing great

I am too