SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

* Food thiefs at work. Is it really necessary for me to write my initials in big black letters on the top of my Pepsi can because you don't know it is not yours to begin with? This occurs everywhere I have ever worked over the decades.

* Parents who let their children throw their tantrums or run wild in public. For goodness sakes, teach your child some manners and hold them accountable! Mine were always well behaved and we received compliments regularly. It CAN be done!

* People who squeeze their car so close to mine in the parking lot I have to climb in through the passenger door. I have a special asshole note I keep in my glovebox for just those occasions.

* People who pile up items for the cashier, have them ring everything up, then realize they can't afford it all and I have to wait for you to go through each item one by one to see what you won't be buying to get the total under the magic affordability number. Hey, asshole, ever hear of the concept of keeping track of prices while you are shopping so there are no surprises at the cashier?

* People who don't wipe off the toilet seat and leave their piss dribbles there, or who don't flush. Just plain gross!

* Women who wear high heels that can't walk in them. You look stupid.

* Women who insist on wearing spandex when they really shouldn't.

* Cashiers that are incapable of giving correct change without the aid of a computer. And God help me if I give them additional change to make the change I am owed an even number!

* Asshole drivers.

* Stupid people.

* Rude, inconsiderate assholes.

* Bad or no manners at all!!

* The false sense of entitlement so many seem to possess, and it is just getting worse.

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 3:57 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)]

Screaming infants on planes. Please, don't you realize your infants EARS are hurting from the cabin pressure?? I have asked several panicked moms to let me hold their babies to quiet them. I put my hands over their ears and hold them close and they go to sleep. Poor little babies!

Fast food drive through lanes where there is a 'recorded' message when you push the button to order, going on and on about a new product. No! I just want to order and KNOW what I want, don't want to sit in my car listening to a long commercial.

The main passenger in my car -- my mom -- slapping her open palm on the dash when I'm still a block away from a stop sign!

People who scream at their kids in public (or private) and have no control. This also applies to people who hit their kids in public. I WILL get a police officer on you!

Rommie ......

Oh god ... really need to seek therapy ... I have a lot ... But I feel most of mine are common sense ...

when you dirty dishes wash them clean with DISH SOAP !!! They are not clean because you run them under hot water and knock off the big stuff .....

If your tired of picking up your weird smelling bottle of brown liquid from the bottom of the shower stop leaving it on the edge of the tub where I kick it over when I step in the shower. I got tired of always picking it up, setting it in the opposite corner, so I just leave it in the bottom of the tub ...

More curious about this one ... Who needs/uses hand sanitizer in the shower ??? It also winds up in the bottom of the tub, I hit it with my elbow or hand every time, always left on the shelf that is level with my arm ... Also got tired of picking it up and putting it in the corner with the weird bottle of stuff ...

When you tell me you are going to have the check here have it here ... not on the 3-4 time I have inquired when it is late or a no show for the time you said. If your not going to do it, don't say you are and then give me lame ass excuses of why ... To be fair he is 2mo ahead on rent, so it is a benefit to me, he pays monthly still, even being ahead. The lack of follow through and blase way he deals with it, annoy me.

Telling me Charly pooped on the floor great, me having to clean up the poop you clearly missed super annoying ...

When you cook with grease do not dump it in the grass out back, Charly eats/licks it and makes her sick, she is not a table food dog. If you wait till grease cools & congeals you can wipe it out with a napkin into the trash ...

The neanderthal noises have got to stop, seriously this is not a pissing match to see who can be noisier. Noise is not manly or endearing ...

Courtesy flush ... Close the door after you leave, it is not an air freshener for the whole TINY house.

It's your laundry ... You switch it between washer/dryer, you remove it from washer dryer ......

The musty feet, testosterone, ass smell coming from your room, keep the door closed. It's your filth IDC how you keep your room, I care when it starts to infiltrate the rest of the house ...

I really am a sweet person. Really. Your in the Army, your an Lt in the Army, your in charge of other men's lives, they send you over seas to protect our country. I really hope your observation skills of the mundane everyday stuff is better attuned than they are here. Very scary if they are not, or even more scattered ect. because of the intense life/death sitch.

Work .........

If you are scheduled to be there, then be there. If you can't for whatever reason call in advance soon enough before your shift to have proper coverage. If they don't show up manager get off your ass and call in someone, or get your ass on the phone or waiting tables or both.

If I hear one more time it is not my job, or you don't have to do that it's his/her job, I'm gonna slap someone.

I'm a better employee than most deserve, and it is never returned. Well rarely returned with the same effort I give. I give to much and expect the same in return, my mistake. I still don't think what I ask for is, expect, is so hard out of reach ...

See told you I needed therapy, or just to learn to lower my expectations of humans.

* Apostrophe abuse. Plurals NEVER require apostrophes, even if they end with the letter s. For words that end with s, you make a plural by adding -es. Sometimes, you add an additional -s before the -es. You do not use an apostrophe, even if the word being pluralized is a proper noun.

NEVER USE AN APOSTROPHE FOR A PLURAL. EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER.

(And yes, I know I write grammatically incorrect sentence fragments. The best advice I was ever given, by a high school English teacher, was NOT to change this, because it is my style. The style is how I make a significant portion of my living. It was good advice. But I don't abuse apostrophes---just sentence structure. Even when I know an editor will correct my punctuation, if need be.)

* The misuse of the term "crocodile tears." It does not refer to any large tears shed by someone. It specifically refers to fake tears shed in order to manipulate. They do not reflect sadness. They are fake. So no, your grief-stricken child did NOT cry crocodile tears, unless s/he's a budding sociopath. I hope that is not the case.

* When people put their hands on my walls. Stand up! Get your grubby mitts off my walls! I don't want to wash your prints off, and I don't want to have to look at them, either. And I definitely don't want to spring for another 5 grand paint job any time soon. Go lean on your own freaking walls. Mine? Get your grubby paws off.

* Noisy eating. And even if someone is not noisily smacking his or her lips, why is it that some peoples' crunching is amplified by their skulls, as if there is nothing in there to absorb the sound? Seriously---my beautiful (and very brainy, so I know there's something in there) daughter, chewing with her mouth closed just like her mama taught her, can make a baby carrot sound like it's been amplified for a stadium.

* The person who seems to think it's okay to remove my must-be-refrigerated lunch from the fridge at work to access his/her lunch---then leaves my must-be-refrigerated lunch on the counter to get warm.

Adult college students who ask for "extra credit" assignments because they didn't bother to do the assignments they were given.

My answer is always no. Even as a high school teacher I never believed in "extra credit." If circumstances warrant special treatment, I will let you complete overdue work for credit, or maybe even resubmit work that was not satisfactory. But I'm not going to spend time making up completely new assignments for students who (in most cases) don't even have a very good excuse for falling behind in the course in the first place.

Slow drivers in the fast lane. Pee on a public toilet seat ( clean that up!!!). Cigarette butts on the ground and/or flying out of car windows. Sniffers that won't bow their nose. And on my running trail - people that leave behind their dog's poo, and people that are smoking when it's 1)clearly prohibited and 2) really hard for all the people running and biking to breathe in the smoke cloud.

Love this topic, even though my colleagues all think I'm nutty for snort-laughing.

Students who miss class, then stroll in (late) the next class and ask, Hey, did I miss anything important?

Depending on my mood, the answer is chosen from the following:

--Yes.

--(Laughs crazily.) You are such a joker! Wait, you're serious?

-- Killer glare over the top of glasses.

Parents of college kids who call me to explain why cupcake turned her work in late.

Parents of college kids who help them cheat on assignments.

Parents of college kids who state kid will have X large consequence for cheating, and then don't follow through.

Students and colleagues who start an email asking for a favor with "Hey."

Colleagues who reheat fish sticks in the staff microwave. I love fish. I do not love smelling YOUR fish at my desk.

The bagger at the grocery store who puts bananas and leaf lettuce at the bottom of the bag and then drops a jar of pickles and three cans of soup on top of it even though I ask, politely, EVERY FRICKIN TIME I COME THRU YOUR CHECKOUT, to keep produce separate. It can't possibly be a surprise; you've been working there three years and I come to that store at least once a week. STOP IT!!!

Cashiers who grab the bread in the middle of the loaf or who toss the pears down the bagging counter. See point above

Ahhhhh, now I feel better!

[This message edited by StrongerOne at 11:39 AM, November 4th (Monday)]

Oh I forgot two, and I haven't seen them here yet.

News reports that start their story with "Yah" when the anchor hands off to them. "Yah" - Seriously?!?! WTF people aren't you supposed to be a college educated person with tons of practice in public speaking? Who in the world told you it was ok to start the hand off with Yah?!? It's rampant too, local and national news.

My second one today has to do with speaking as well. What is the damn deal with teens, and young adults speaking with a lilting rise in their voice at the end of each sentence so it sounds like a question? I guess they think it's cute, but I think it makes you look like an idiot. My daughter started doing it last year.

For Example DD: "Today in choir we sang God Bless America?" My repsonse to this type of speech goes something like. "I don't know did you, because I wasn't there. Would you like me to contact your teacher and ask her?"

If you speak to me in that manner I will respond like I am answering a question 9 times out of 10. It's not cute you sound dumb, and it does not command respect or attention.

The neighbor next door who mows her lawn two or three times a week whether it needs it or not. Hint: it doesn't.

The neighbors who use a leaf blower and blow the leaves down the side of the hill, and then the wind blows the leaves back into their yard an hour later.

Robo calls.

Anyone who texts or calls while driving. Have had two close calls with these selfish, thoughtless types over the last year.

People who look me in the eyes and lie to me. Are you reading this honey? Grrr...

- people who leave cupboard doors open

- people who don't look when they throw trash in the trashcan and it is obviously overflowing, empty the damn thing

- people who don't wipe up their little messes on the counter

- people who think it is perfectly okay to use their fork and take a sample of my food off my plate

- people who have a negative attitude about everything