SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have to admit I got a good laugh from Bigger's post.

But on the subject at hand I'll admit I've watched hard-core porn with my H. Been a few years but it never impacted what I expected our sex life to be like. In fact there are a few things depicted in the xxx type porn that have me saying "ALL my nopes". I have absolutely ZERO interest in even thinking about trying it.

I've also read/viewed erotica which differs from porn (IMO) because to me porn is finding any excuse to drop the clothes and have sex. Hell have sex just because it's possible. Erotica mixes in some romance/fantasy with the sex wnd the fantasy isn't unrealistic. And the erotica I've seen/read rarely (if ever) involves crossing any boundaries of or by the characters.

But I agree, if porn ("mommy" or otherwise) is the *primary* avenue of "release" for someone then it definitely can cause problems in a relationship. Or if it causes the user to have unrealistuc expectations of relationships/sex/life.

OK I just read this whole thread. Wow!!!

Bigger you win. That was hysterical!!!

Blake - I think your real question is erotica as damaging as porn can be.

My Answer: Only if you let it be. Porn for many normal people is not a big deal, they watch occasionally and enjoy it, with and without their partners, and have great sex, and normal lives. IT's the folks that get carried away with it and choose it over being intimate with their partner, just like the alcoholic chooses booze instead of family, and the gambling addict chooses going to the casino over spending time with their spouse.

For me Erotica can be a great starter. Meaning, I am a mom of teens, I work full time, I have a ton of responsiblities and sometimes sex is the last thing on my mind, but if H is interested and lets me know that he is interested a particular day, I can take a bit of time to read something that may get my mind going, so that I can and will look forward to that quiet initimate time with my H. It doesn't rule my world, and it helps SOMETIMES, so where's the harm? I don't see it.

But Porn was never an issue in our M. In fact we will occasionally watch it together, and just like a shoot em up movie is not reality the same goes for porn. We know that in the real world the refrigerator repair man that shows up isn't 6'3" built like a Olympic God, and hung like a horse. The housewife who has no cellulite, and perky boobs, and is cleaning the house in stilletos are not reality. We all know the refrigerator repair guy that shows up is some bubba with ripped pants, a beer belly, and furry ass crack, and I certainly have my cellulite, droopy boobs, and NEVER wear stilletos, unless I am already lying in bed.

So NO For those that don't have an issue with it, it's not a big deal, and won't lead to some fucked up version of what sex is or should be.

Oh and BTW Twilight is not even close to real erotica, that was just some teenage winey narcissitic bullshit. I only read because my son wanted to,a nd I had to be sure it was ok.

OMG!! I was going to post then Bigger broke the thread for me!

It's like hey, I used to be a smart, sexy woman, then I had a kid and now all I can think of is finding a bodice in my size so Fabio can rip it.

(sorry, trying to be funny and failing - I just HAD to say Fabio somewhere in this thread or I was going to die).

[This message edited by JanaGreen at 2:26 PM, November 4th (Monday)]

I haven't seen studies but I have always believed that some women who watch soap operas have a tendency to over dramatize normal everyday events.

Have never figured out if there was a connection but Mrs. Kite used to have me tape two soap operas a day for her which she would watch at night. This was during the 90's/VCR days and she didn't know how to tape programs for herself. This was a woman who hated TV and suddenly decided to invest her time watching soaps. About a year after this began she ran off the rails. Hmmm....

I clicked this thread w/a very bad feeling that it meant something totally different.

I read all the time. I haven't gotten that into reading erotica or even romance novels but I've read a few. Most of them are very cheesy and I would think most sane people would know that it all a fantasy and real life love and sex is nothing like that. Try making moves on your wife the next time she's reading 50 Shades! I'd bet money she'll be ready to go!lol

I bought three rugs and a Dyson this weekend. You wanna talk mommy porn? I am in the afterglow!