SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

YOU file.

BOOM!

[This message edited by jjct at 8:03 PM, May 14th (Wednesday)]

i'd text her - the problem with you is you're selfish and hypocritical. You destroy DD's family by sneaking off and having an affair. You didn't inform me about it, you lied. And now you're upset that I got a dog. boo fucking hoo. Go away. I don't want you anymore and if I had my options I wouldn't have to talk to you anymore. I'm embarrassed that I chose you to be DD's mother.

This is the type of mentality you have to adopt. IF she asks a question, you cannot respond to her like a normal person, as her brain is leaning a little. You have to come back at her. HARD. or crickets. Explaining anything opens the door for her to talk to you and talking to you about anything is off the table because she is a person who stole from you. You would not talk to a person who mugged you,, so do not talk to her, she is worse than a mugger.

Also,,, my XWH is ALWAYS threatening some sort of legal action. It was F*****G hilarious when I had him served. I secretly went to an atty and it shocked the hell out of him. It shut him up for a while....now he's back at it again.

Be really strong.

Also, I when XWH really makes me mad, I go onto facebook and say how happy I am and how great my life is. I've heard it makes his gf (OW) really mad that I'm happy!!!

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 8:38 PM, May 14th (Wednesday)]

is it too late to vote?

if not I vote CRICKETS!

5454real also had some great suggestions, beaufiul dog your DD will be thrilled!

adrianna1980 - can you please elaborate?

Actually, it is quite simple. Your current financial situation is quite challenging so it makes sense to divorce your wife now. The terms of your divorce aren't going to be so favorable if you decide to do it when you get your PhD and a well paying job.

Despite what your wife may say right now about getting a divorce, she isn't really too eager to do it right now because she cannot effectively take you to cleaners. For her, it is the best to wait until you get your PhD and a good job, and royally screw you then. Your wife may be a cheater but she isn't stupid. She will find a "creative" shark divorce attorney who will try to get the best financial terms for her. Of course, he will ask for a child support from you. No surprise here. You have a daughter and you must pay child support. I'm sure you have no problem with this part.

Now, the tricky part - alimony. I understand that you have some sort of a separation agreement signed by your wife but it doesn't matter much because her "creative" attorney will challenge it on the ground of being "grossly unfair" and have it thrown away. And then, he will argue that you earned your degree at cost of hardship of the whole family and now you are "all that and a bag of chips" PhD and your "left behind" wife is just a financially struggling teacher. The most likely outcome is that you will end up paying her alimony for at least a few years. Her extramarital sexcapades won't be a factor in any of that.

Oh, one more thing.... nice dog!

[This message edited by adriana1980 at 2:19 AM, May 15th (Thursday)]

adriana1980's suggestion about the likelihood of you being ordered to pay alimony is probably not correct. There are lots of factors that go into spousal support considerations and they vary greatly from state to state. The fact scenario you previously gave indicates she is a high earner. If true, alimony from you to her is not likely.

Thank you, adrianna1980, for clarifying. I have another two years before I get my degree, so I think I am safe there. She is paying for my health insurance currently and is not charging me child support, but those are hooks that just keep me reeled in to her control. She feels like she has control over my life and I need to send her a clear message that she NO LONGER controls any aspect of my life. I think hiring a divorce attorney, while expensive, will send her a clear message and will help me to move on to the next chapter of my life. In Ohio, I do not need to have any length of separation before divorce proceedings begin, so I am hoping that it will be a clear cut case in which I won't have to wait forever and a day to get divorced. She is definitely a person with narcissistic and borderline personality disorder traits. It hurts so much what she's done to me, but I know that I will be better off without her in my life.

Thank you all for the support and the encouragement of strength. I need it now more than ever, because my doctoral training must continue. I need to focus on my future and what's best for my daughter. I have a lot on my plate with 7 hours between my parents and I. Meanwhile, WW has OM, has our daughter more often, has family support, and is trying to hold things over my head. I am ready to move on.

Option F. "Fuck you and the OM you rode in on."

JK...

Seriously...stick with crickets, and file. Then she can deal with your attorney.

Great dog...she's adorable!

Don't kid yourself that she can't string out a divorce for two years. I also live in a "no waiting period" state and it took years to get divorced. Every time a court date came up they asked for an extension. Then they asked for mediation. After we had an agreement in place, they withdrew their acceptance and we had to start over. On and on. You get the picture. There is no benefit to you to wait, and you are jeopardizing your future by doing so.

I just wouldn't respond.

Such as discussing zoo and theme park passes with you which you made a decision on your own about."

Huh?

Chick is a control freak.

She cheats and blows up your family and she is concerned about theme park passes??? WT actual F?

Crickets is what she deserves.

The unbelievable audacity......sheesh!