SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I, too love crickets. I also love Gutfeelings, but would omit anything to do with the cheater.

"I took DD into consideration, as I always do. I have always been and will continue to be a loving and responsible parent."

I don't recall your asking permission to introduce a third party into our marriage or into your new household. Be that as it may, my decision to bring a dog into my household is one made with DD's interests in mind as most would agree that children enjoy having a relationship with a loving pet.

Don't go crickets as shel twist that into a "he doesn't care" argument should custody/visitation fight erupt down the road.

This recommendation is a nice way to say "F@@@ You, Bi@@@" to her without actually using those words, and would remind the judge of her infidelity and highlight the absurd nature of her demand.

ANNNDDD we're off to the races with her texts:

"There is no reason to take your anger over issues with me out on decisions made that impact our daughter. I was not asking to be included in the decision making I was asking to be told instead of hearing from someone else. That is it."

"I don't see a reason in bringing up the affair when I am just asking to be told about a dog. It is shocking when you told me you would be financially strapped and now have a vacation over memorial day weekend along with a trip to the beach and added expenses of a pet. I don't ask for a dime from you because of the fact that in our separation agreement you asked me to not ask for child support. I spend money on DD at least every other day on random expenses. And to think that I was trying to give you an upper hand?"

"I thought we were coparenting but I could be mistaken. If this is how things are always going to be then I will go ahead and proceed in filing for a divorce. Because at this point I am looking out for DD like I always have and helping you out with not having to pay child support and allowing you to be on my health insurance. But all I asked was that I be told about a decision made that affects our daughter and you have said no."

(please, before I get the flames from people about child support, i am a full-time graduate student who makes 1/5 of what my wife makes---she would have to pay me alimony if she divorced me, little does she know. My vacations are paid for by my family.)

[This message edited by knockeddown at 5:11 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]

I have been contemplating on filing for a while, but I think it's time.

File.

And, what kind of dog?

If you do respond, my opinion would be that it revolve around this one statement:

As DD's father I consider your input with everything impacting DD.

Except she didn't. Zoo passes and new pets are nowhere near as impactful as an A. Unless you choose to murder someone and then go to prison, there are few decisions you can make that would compare to hers in any way, shape, or form.

Still, if you think those thoughts would be wasted on her, then crickets would be the way to go. Good luck.

Yes to CRICKETS. Theme park passes?

For her to mention theme park passes is just trying to find a reason to say "you're wrong". Well, even the dog thing is. She needs to feel some sense of control, or inclusion, or...I don't know what.

She loses.....

When in doubt, crickets. Her response confirms this. There is no winning. Difficult though it may be, refrain from responding to her enflamed response. Be the bigger person; let her think she's "won" with her getting the last word. These people are children; treat them as such. Ignoring is the best response.

Crickets.

She is looking for a fight.

Fuck her.

File.

What kind of dog? Name? Age? Pics?!?! Please!!!!

Go crickets and file if that's what you want.

Ask for a minimum of joint custody. In addition to alimony she may also owe you for child support if you the children equal number of nites in your home.

I can never understand why an adulterer is even considered a fit parent. She cheated on the entire family and not just you. A fit parent cares more about their child than to treat the child like this and screw their lives up and give them FOO issues.

[This message edited by whattheh at 5:28 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]

This is probably why you shouldn't have engaged in the first place. This is an exercise in control and balance of power.

That little text is what is called a sh*t test. You did something that affirms ability to take decisions in your life without consultation or input from her.

A narcissist can't have that, so she engages you, testing out this resolve, hoping you bite so she can reestablish control and the feeling of power.

You're trying to reason where there is no reason. Next she'll be complaining if you change the furniture. There is no logic. So stop engaging her and let her text/rant/whatever.

It might also do your sanity a world of good.

Oh gosh, she will learn a hard lesson. You'll be getting child support!

In my case, I used opportunities like this to establish boundaries.

There isn't a question, no answer needed.

She wants a "Yes Ma'am!" Anything else is going to turn into a text war.

Crickets.

She'll either get over it (being mad) or she'll die angry. Either way it's her choice!

Now tell us about the dog.....

What's your dog's name (the actual canine, not the STBXWW)??

Well besides all the other witty responses I thought of, I voted for crickets, but then read your profile. Too late I see. Now that you're done with the bulk of your studies, bone up on Narcissism, you're going to need it, plus according to my Psychologist, it's epidemic so should come handy in your career!

KD's update on dog and life in a previous thread.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=530674&HL=43090

btw, congrats on the new furbaby. I owe most of my sanity to mine during the worst of the shitstorm.

Well, I would have ignored her. It was obvious she is a power monger.

But seriously, this belongs in the quotes thread!

I might drop a random text about how you can at least get a dog fixed so it wont go fuck the neighbor

Too funny!

i'd text her - the problem with you is you're selfish and hypocritical. You destroy DD's family by sneaking off and having an affair. You didn't inform me about it, you lied. And now you're upset that I got a dog. boo fucking hoo. Go away. I don't want you anymore and if I had my options I wouldn't have to talk to you anymore. I'm embarrassed that I chose you to be DD's mother.

ok, so that was a little harsh. but honestly, the audacity that people have some times. Makes me pissed off for you Knocked.

[This message edited by mike7 at 9:10 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]

Her tirade of texts is exactly why you need to learn the art of crickets. Do Not Engage! It's like giving her the green light to start blasting away.

You will learn. Crickets is always the best answer with these narc cheaters.

How about option E. Get her a pony as well!! See what she thinks about that! LOL

Agree with others - option C. Ignore. But sooo tempting to roll all the other ones together in one response!