SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

She is leaving supposedly. Last I heard Thursday.

Okay, so she's "planning" on leaving and I would advise against waiting for that to happen but that's of course up to you. So then, what are you doing in the meantime?

Have you spoken to an attorney?

JIMHO but if there are POS in your life that feels "okay" with what these two degenerates are doing I would consider cutting them out of your life as well. That can wait of course but just for you from me...

Fuck them. All of them. They can burn in hell.

We're here for you if you need it and at times this is all I've had to share this shit with.

You're going to make it through this.

Im staying in a camper right now. Anyone that believes the lies I will cut out. I just dont know the extent and to whom he has been running his mouth too.

I will wait a bit longer for her to make arrangements what ever that may be and yes I do have legal council.

Right know I feel perfectly fine. lol. I know this wont last long but for the brief hour or so it feels good.

I’m glad you are doing well for the moment. It will most likely come and go.

I’m glad you got legal counseling. Do you plan on serving her D papers?

More importantly how are you taking care of yourself?

who is everyone knows?

what do they know?

So let her leave. He doesn't work. How long do you think the charm of that life is going to last? 180 friend. Let her crawl back, or find a good woman who won't cheat. You deserve it.

"She is leaving supposedly. Last I heard Thursday."

Good and good. She's doing you a favor. I wouldn't have recommended you moving out of the house that you're paying for. Especially if she said that she's leaving. The individual who leaves puts themselves in a weaker position when it comes to the marital assets.

I'd think about moving back into the house and when you see her say, "I thought you were moving out." When she gives her excuse for still being there, tell her to move her clothing, etc. out of your bedroom and into a guest room in the meantime.

Please remove her name from your bank accounts and anything else that she's on. Don't allow her to have access to your resources. She needs to make it on her own from now on. Protect yourself. I know you're in pain still but you have to protect yourself. You'll thank yourself later.

And if she ever comes crawling back to you, don't allow her in the door. Meet her somewhere else if you want to talk to her. She's not allowed in your house or on your property.

I am so hert. I feel so numb. So betrayed. But at the same time nothing at all. I dont even know what to do when I go home. She wont be there. I have done all of this for her. now everyhting I worked so hard for for us is gone. I dont know how to deal with this. my drive is gone. She has no idea what she has done for me and the mess she has put this family in. she has no idea what situation she has put her in. I just dont know where to go from here. I wanted so badly for us to work thru this. I miss her so much..

Dude it's one human being.

You're letting one human being have this much power over your life?

I assume you worked hard to provide. Have your own house (something a lot of folk don't have). You have your health, but you're allowing the one person you trusted, who clearly doesn't give a stuff about you all this power and urgency?

One single solitary human being.

Up to you when you decide to take this power away and make her a mere human being who f*cks with other people's lives.

I'd think about moving back into the house and when you see her say, "I thought you were moving out." When she gives her excuse for still being there, tell her to move her clothing, etc. out of your bedroom and into a guest room in the meantime.

Please remove her name from your bank accounts and anything else that she's on. Don't allow her to have access to your resources. She needs to make it on her own from now on. Protect yourself. I know you're in pain still but you have to protect yourself. You'll thank yourself later.

And if she ever comes crawling back to you, don't allow her in the door. Meet her somewhere else if you want to talk to her. She's not allowed in your house or on your property.

All of this...

I am so hert. I feel so numb. So betrayed. But at the same time nothing at all.

Oh BMW, you can't turn off your love like a light switch. You've been doubly betrayed by not one, but TWO (alleged) human beings and you're mourning the loss of TWO people whom you love. It takes (that dreaded four-letter word) TIME. Go easy on yourself and let yourself grieve. Talk to your doc about something to take to help you sleep. And keep posting here. We're here for you.

To clarify - when I said "alleged" human beings, I meant just that...not allegedly being betrayed. Just wanted to clarify that.

She has no idea what she has done for me and the mess she has put this family in. she has no idea what situation she has put her in. I just dont know where to go from here. I wanted so badly for us to work thru this. I miss her so much.

Part of this is because she believes you need her more than she needs you. That you will always be her plan B. You've got to do a hard 180 and really think about where you will both be financially. She needs to know the blunt reality that you are headed to divorce if she doesn't shape up. I know you don't want a divorce but what does the lawyer say? 50/50 custody? Focus on the kids. Doing things without her. Cut her off as much as the law will allow financially. Stop doing things you always did for her. I think you are still trying to win her back by niceness. This never works, the reality of what she will lose if she loses you is what DOES work.

Please write a little more about what's going on and we can help you more. You do not deserve this. You did nothing in your marriage to deserve to be cheated on by your WW and brother. The reality is she is going to have to move heaven and earth to earn back your trust and she doesn't seem up to the task.

"I have done all of this for her. now everyhting I worked so hard for for us is gone. I dont know how to deal with this. my drive is gone."

I know what you're going through. I had the same situation. I'd built my life around my ex. I had a vision of me retiring one day and the two of us moving to a sunny state. All of my hope and dreams were built upon two people; then they vaporized.

I went through over a year of depression because I couldn't figure out who I was without her or how to rebuild my dreams. 1 year and 4 months after D-Day something switched on in my head. I realized that my life wasn't over; that I was single and happy before I met her. I then determined to find myself again. I went back to who I was and what I liked doing; hobbies, friends, etc. I started looking again to the future and what I wanted to accomplish with my life. I set short-term goals and began completing them. I became me again.

You need time to grieve. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just remember that it's temporary. Don't allow yourself to wallow in pain and make it your life forever. The way out, the key to building your future, is in realizing that life is still good and finding the happy you that existed when you were younger.

Everyone does know and they seem totally fine with that

Wait...

What?

You are telling us that your family and her family are perfectly fine with your own brother taking your wife from you?

You're serious?

Im done. over it

Done with what?

If you are thinking of taking your own life I can promise you that you wouldn't be the first person in your situation to think that way. It's not a good option. You can and will get better from this even if you can't see that right now.

I know. It's fucking awful. I know that numbness and that untethered feeling as well. I've been there many times. It will get better. I know It's a shit show you are going through right now and I'm sorry.

What to do when you get home? Go for a run. Start Mediation routine. Clear out some space start building something new or play an instrument or find something for your mind to concentrate on and that you will need to learn about so your head can take a breather from all the pain and numb. It won't feel like that at first but it will start to help. Have you looked into an IC?

Post here. Tells us about whats going on in even if it seems mundane to you. We'll listen. We want to help.

...BMW? You still out there?

Please don't withdrawal through this. Update when you can, please.

She has no idea what she has done for me and the mess she has put this family in. she has no idea what situation she has put her in. I just dont know where to go from here. I wanted so badly for us to work thru this. I miss her so much..

Sorry man but she doesn't care. Clarity of who she is will come later.

She has no idea what she has done for me and the mess she has put this family in. she has no idea what situation she has put her in. I just dont know where to go from here. I wanted so badly for us to work thru this. I miss her so much..

Sorry man but she doesn't care. Clarity of who she is will come later.

She moved out yesterday into her new apt with him. They left the house a disaster and all kinds of stuff left behind. I spent 5 hours today cleaning up and packing the rest and took it to her dads for her to pick up. One of the hardest things Ive ever had to do. The things she said to me or I have heard from other people or so horrible. there is no remorse at all and she plain dont care.

1 if it dont work out i will see if your still availible: Hung uo and turned her pone off in which I got told I was controlling

2 he's just been a pay check

3 he needs to stop and just fucking move on

4 Im madly inlove whith him

5. Im accused of talking to other women

6 I killed the hamster

7 Your loss not mine

not to mention all the lies they have spread.

Im abusive. I BEAT on her.

I dont ever do anything for her.

Im controlling

On and on and on.

I dont understand. I made a commitment when we came back togother to spend more time and help her inside and stop concentrating on other projects. I thought we were working forward. She would not stop messaging him and said I dont have to, he is 9 hours away. I would bring home things to read and ask for us to read them together and she said well this is what Im feeling.. This dont apply to me and would just set them aside. We had a wonderful week and she just said I dont love you any more. How can someone just do that to a person. My home is not a home anymore. its empty. And just so I dont get asked again, She has a son and i raised hi from infancy. I have a daughter and I have asked her mom to keep her until she moved out. i have no idea what to tell her. She is going to be crushed.

I believe no looking back and seeing things clearly this has been going on for 4 or 5 months. And ontop of that I think it has happened before. Based on the actions that have occurred of the last months. I just never seen it before or seen it coming. Her dad is so pissed right now. And she does not care. I know I should be done and over but I love her and I know what is coming next. And its not good for her or her son. I will post my next won who the sob really is.