SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I think it is very possible and quite probable that most of the men here are very able to see a beautiful woman and think just that, she is beautiful. I have watched this difference in my own boys, there are two of them that can see beauty and appreciate it and one that is going to take it to the next level in his head every time.

What UO said was dead on, men and women can both appreciate beauty, I don't know why this is debated so hotly, not everyone takes it to the next level. I notice it with men and women.

Most of us here have had to understand the hard way, that thoughts can lead to something far worse

Ok. Then let's take those that have suffered infidelity....does anyone see the possible hypocrisy between some of the posts on here and the Scott Eastwood thread in F&G? Would a guy be safe posting that here?

because my dick is an inherent character flaw.

I just don't see where this was the point of the thread at all. The original context was is it normal for ALL MEN to see someone pretty and immediately picture her naked and him fucking her. I'm saying NO, it's NOT. Others, men included, said, yeah, pretty much.

I don't care about the occasional look or noticing someone is attractive. I don't know how we'd avoid it. My husband always says I check out women more than any guy he knows (probably true, I even have a pattern; shoes, hair, tits, shoes. So he says. I think he leaves out "outfit"). My position was we, as humans and maybe I am wrong but I do count men in that category, can appreciate beauty without wanting to fuck it. Can't we???

cayc,

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....does anyone see the possible hypocrisy between some of the posts on here and the Scott Eastwood thread in F&G? Would a guy be safe posting that here?

Funny that you mentioned this. I saw the Scott Eastwood thread, and wondered what the response would be if I posted a random hot girl picture on the thread.

is it normal that a guy looks at a girl thinks she's hot and thinks "man I would like to fuck her"?

Can't speak for everyone else, but no, not that graphically. It's more like "Damn, she's hot." Or something like that. Mostly just admiration.

.does anyone see the possible hypocrisy between some of the posts on here and the Scott Eastwood thread in F&G? Would a guy be safe posting that here?

Uncertainone, I find your fairness and intelligence something to stare at and appreciate. We who take our daily beatings salute you.

I just don't see where this was the point of the thread at all. The original context was is it normal for ALL MEN to see someone pretty and immediately picture her naked and him fucking her. I'm saying NO, it's NOT. Others, men included, said, yeah, pretty much.

Because "Yes, pretty much" is in line with checking a woman out and assessing her sexually, vs the idea that there is an extended fantasy of fucking going on that is being argued for. There are also several instances of people in this thread that are saying any consideration of a woman as a sexual entity is some kind of heinous thought crime.

I would say even those guys who would go so far as to say "Yeah I wonder" are not likely turning it into an extended episode and have moved on to what kind of beer to drink that night after a few seconds. A two second thought that comes and goes can contain a lot of information.

Hypocrisy of m A aside, I have never been one to stare or leer at or obsess over another woman. It's just never been my thing. I never get involved with "guy talk" about who they want to fuck. I also loathe strip clubs and those restaurants where the girls are hyper-sexualized (ie, Hooters, The Tilted Kilt...). They really make me uncomfortable. Do I recognize when someone is beautiful? Of course. But I don't think about them once they are out of my sight, really. Perhaps I'm in the minority on this, but no, I don't see a pretty woman and devolve straight into fuck fantasies.

does anyone see the possible hypocrisy between some of the posts on here and the Scott Eastwood thread in F&G? Would a guy be safe posting that here?

I think it is a huge hypocrisy, however if a pic was posted of a girl would the comments be that tame?

One of my husband's OW ONS was a random girl he met in a bar. He obviously looked at her and wanted to know what it would be like to F her...because he took her out to his friend's boat and did just that.

I can only surmise from this unfortunate encounter that my husband must see attractive women and want to know what it would be like to have sex with them.

His second ONS was a girl from POF. He had accounts registered on a couple websites, specifically to look for anon sex. He saw her picture, she was available at the time he needed her to be available, and that was that.

I can only surmise from this unfortunate encounter that my husband must see attractive women and want to know what it would be like to have sex with them.

I don't think that means my husband doesn't find me attractive or want to have sex with me, but it does mean my WH needs to figure out how to have some self-control and manage these thoughts if he wants to remain married to me.

Whatever boundaries he needs to impose on himself -- whether that's committing to look away, stare at the ground for the rest of his life, or identify, acknowledge, and replace the thought -- well, that's on him.

In another 15 years, I hope I'll be able to say that my husband can look at an attractive woman and appreciate her beauty without compromising his love for me and our marriage vows.

Time will tell.

I think it is a huge hypocrisy, however if a pic was posted of a girl would the comments be that tame?

I would say if a man posted a woman in a bikini on this site and then other men posted lustful posts, why I hate to even think of the responses. It would be a bloodbath. A massacre...A testicle bashing orgy of testicle bashing

asurvivor, sadly I agree with you, and I don't think that is right.

asurvivor...

Actually, there have been plenty of threads in F&G's where pictures of women dressed in school girl outfits and their boobs pushed out of the too-tight, too small white blouse. Bikini shots, carwash pictures, etc., and never have they been shut down and/or turned into a fight.

Because "Yes, pretty much" is in line with checking a woman out and assessing her sexually, vs the idea that there is an extended fantasy of fucking going on that is being argued for.

So we are disagreeing with the definition of "pretty much"?

As for the hypocrisy, I don't think we should go there, less other threads be drawn into it.

Actually, there have been plenty of threads in F&G's where pictures of women dressed in school girl outfits and their boobs pushed out of the too-tight, too small white blouse. Bikini shots, carwash pictures, etc., and never have they been shut down and/or turned into a fight.

Really, well I'll give it a try and see how that works out one of these days.

So we are disagreeing with the definition of "pretty much"?

Yes, because being told what is going on inside my head as a man is condescending, whether it's intended or not. I have tried a few times to point out that disconnect. I don't think there has been one BH in this thread that has not qualified it to some degree with the exception of one guy on page 2.

Thanks for the replies.

I'm glad to see that thinking a woman is fuckable is ok. But I was more concerned about the fantasies. My wh can stop them (he's getting better) but he would visually see himself fuck them, instantaneously.

Grilla, am so fucking offended. Also you don't know anything about our relationship except what I tell you. Needless to say but i will spell it out to you, you are wrong, it is not dependant on that.

Really, well I'll give it a try and see how that works out one of these days.

As long as there isn't nudity/porn, its perfectly fine...as always.

I've seen some beautiful women pics posted in F&G. I don't recall that they turned into castrating bloodbaths, nor do I recall that they turned into such lustful commentary that they were offensive.

Furthermore, they were in F&G, where one necessarily should be expecting the unexpected. Personally, I don't like to see threads in the support areas which generalize so much about what's wrong with men or women. It's hurtful. When I'm in a F&G forum it's because I'm feeling emotionally strong and can handle whatever I might see. If I'm in an emotionally-fragile state I stay out of F&G and Off Topic. Heck, I often will stay out of NB as well. These main support forums, though, need to be my safe place.