SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Asking for help is about the biggest sign of strength that exists. It shows that there is something more important than your pride and that you are willing to do what is necessary to address it.

Use your support network - they are here because they love you. Show your children how you are willing to take charge of your life.

He can't take the car. It's a joint asset.

eta - have you been to the CAB yet?

[This message edited by UKgirl at 12:58 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

It's in his name so I didn't have any right to keep it according to solicitor! I asked him how I was supposed to take little one to nursery & he said don't care, not my problem! Ow is already driving it

I just posted my story, and was reading yours after. I want to punch that dude so friggin bad right now I can't stand it!!! What a scumbag ahole!!!!! I feel for you, and I hope things work out for you and very soon!!!! As far as not asking for help, another poster said it right. It doesn't show a lack of character, or make u a failure to ask. It shows and incredible abbundance of character and makes u successful in that you have the strength and courage to put your own emotions to the side and do what is best for you and your little ones!!!

If your parents have the room, and even if they don't, now might be the time to consider moving in with them if they can have u. It will free a burden off of you with the security that if nothing else, any funds u can get can go towards your divorce. And if that scum bag piece of dog shite is giving u any of the cash, or u have access to any of the cash in ur bank accounts for bills, forget the bills for now, and hoard that money to pay for the divorce. Start selling anything that isn't essential. Especially if it is his stuff!!!

[This message edited by rantif at 2:39 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

I just read your post as well rantiff! he's taken everything worth selling. I will come through this although everything seems a bit bleak for us right now. I will be the bigger person & I will hold my head up high. I will be the mother & father my children deserve & need to guide them through their lives. I do feel like a worthless piece of shit right now & tears are streaming down my face, but although I am at absolutely rock bottom now the only way has to be up x

Nutty I just wanted to send you hugs ((Nutty)). I am so sorry about how things are unfolding for you but you have people here thinking of you and I know you can get through this.

Stay safe tonight and tomorrow ((hugs))

(eta - wrong site)

What is my matrimonial property?

Your matrimonial property is any propertyor assets owned by either you or your in either your sole names or in

your joint names.

Matrimonial property can be:

• your matrimonial home (where you and your husband lived)

• any other property owned by you and/oryour husband

• the contents of your matrimonial home and your car

• any savings, life assurance policies, endowment policies, stocks, shares or bonds

• any pensions

The court can also look at debts owed by either you or your husband during your marriage.

It's a joint asset. You may not have the right to keep it - but he doesn't have a right to it either. He must compensate you if he takes it.

eta - do you have any papers left relating to the sale of YOUR car that he used for part-ex?

Get down the CAB. Soon as.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 3:35 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

I agree with what UK is asking you..and do you still have any valid credit cards in his name ( you as the secondary user) that you can use if needed for emergency?

And what SerJR said..Pls don't be ashamed to ask for help from your family and friends..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 3:45 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]

Nutty,

I did some quick google searches on phrases like “women’s support group Kent UK” and “domestic abuse group Kent UK” (Haven’t got a clue what part of the UK you are in so change Kent for your area).

Like I thought these places offer a lot more than shelter for physically abused women. Things like free legal consulting (often using law-students), guidance and access to pro-bona real attorneys. I strongly suggest you look around for help from these places.

You'll find information at the library too. Use your time to be an Erin Brockovich. Knowledge is power. You may not be entitled to Legal Aid (but you will be if he shows any signs of violence or causes you to be in fear of him) but that doesn't mean you are helpless.

Get organised. There IS free advice out there. If your Mum is serious helping you out to get on with your divorce, why not take it?

He and OW are making a mockery of you. Get your bitch boots on.

Have you contacted the CAB?

http://www.maidstonecab.org.uk/

Yes, I had to give it back because its all in his name not mine. It doesn't matter that I put down deposit, I signed the paperwork willingly! As he has put in an email that he will pay the rent on this house til the lease runs out in march I'm covered for that. My parents r going to help me buy a car ASAP & hopefully after Xmas I will b able to return to work. It will b a struggle but everything looks a bit brighter today & even managed a bit of sleep x

No, you didn’t have to give it back. It’s a joint asset, bought during the marriage. Is it on payment terms or bought outright?

he has put in an email that he will pay the rent on this house til the lease runs out in march I'm covered for that.

You gave him the car and feel happy with that b/c he says he will pay the rent. Unless he has given you the money upfront, I wouldn’t take his word on that. Don’t assume anything that you cannot be certain of. And right now, the only person who you can trust is yourself (and your parents).

What happens after March? You’ll be there before you know it.

I will leave this house, get a much smaller one, hopefully I will be back at work by then & be able to stand on my own two feet without having to rely on him for anything! I bought the elder child up on my own until 6 years ago so I will bring the younger one up by myself as well! I'm in a much better situation now as I moved much closer to my family & they are willing to help out as much as I need them to!

I struggled at times being a single parent but he is a clever, well adjusted boy with a very bright future ahead of him. The younger one will achieve great things also, his dad might be around when he can be bothered but I will not rely on him for anything. Kids realise all the sacrifices you make for them as they older & become more appreciative for the smaller things in life. I push them hard at school so they can have a better future for themselves. It's much more comfy to cry in a BMW than a bus stop!

((((((Nutty))))))

Sometimes the future looks bright; sometimes bleak, always a future.

You are doing amazingly. Don't let the bastards grind you down!

Not feeling great today, but wanted to remind you that we're all here too xxx

Be careful Nutty. Be prepared for anything. You’ve let him take the car without a fight. What if he demands to start having visitation rights. You say you are capable of bringing your children up alone, but you cannot cut him out if he chooses to see you son.

Get moving on your divorce. Do not be wishy washy over anything. Do not leave things to just happen. They may happen in shocking way. If your WH and OW are nearby, things could go seriously wrong for you. Please protect yourself and your children. As I have said, knowledge is power. Keep at LEAST one step ahead at all times and anticipate anything WH and/or OW may do. You could end up with a legal letter that changes everything.

Please Nutty. Nail everything.