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bella444 ( member #68825) posted at 2:50 PM on Wednesday, December 19th, 2018
Appreciate the post, really needed it today.
sassylee ( member #45766) posted at 12:35 PM on Thursday, February 21st, 2019
My R(eformed)WH had a 5 month EA in 2012
In my 7th year of R
“LOVE is a commitment, not an emotion. It is a conscious act of a covenant of unconditional love. It is a mindset and a thought process.” - BigHeart2018’s Professor
lettingo ( member #61631) posted at 10:31 PM on Thursday, February 21st, 2019
Chili - thank you so much for this post. Good stuff! You are mighty!
Me: BS (49)
Married 16yrs
DD18 & DS15
DDay 8/16/16 LTA
False R for 10 months, Filed for D 6/2017
"Without courage we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest." -M Angelou
lettingo ( member #61631) posted at 10:31 PM on Thursday, February 21st, 2019
*** Duplicate!
[This message edited by lettingo at 4:32 PM, February 21st (Thursday)]
Me: BS (49)
Married 16yrs
DD18 & DS15
DDay 8/16/16 LTA
False R for 10 months, Filed for D 6/2017
"Without courage we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest." -M Angelou
AMillionReasons63 ( member #69544) posted at 8:55 AM on Monday, March 11th, 2019
Bumping - I am so happy I stumbled across this post. I needed to read this. I’m sure someone else does too.
Thank you Chili - wherever you are!
BS (me) 56
WH 50
Married 2002
No children
DDay #1 16 Aug 2013 (2 days after anniv)
DDay #2 31 Oct 2013 (23yo fr his outpatient grp Not sure EA or PA - lots of texting)
DDay #3 5 Jan 2019 (MCOW)
DDay #4 15 Feb 2019 (same MCOW)
Starzen ( member #47943) posted at 1:42 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2019
Chili (original poster member #35503) posted at 4:12 AM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2019
Bumpity for the bump request.
2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:18 AM on Friday, June 14th, 2019
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Chili (original poster member #35503) posted at 5:09 PM on Thursday, July 25th, 2019
2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett
JerseyCowgirl ( member #41441) posted at 11:46 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2019
When I first found SI many many years ago this post of yours became my bible, my instruction manual. I know it will help others like it did me. Thank you again.
Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!
puffstuff ( member #70814) posted at 12:15 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2019
great post.
this made me lol, just so true and easy to miss when pining away for these shit heads:
"“What exactly is it that you bring to the party that would make me want to put up with this level of bullshit?”
puffstuff ( member #70814) posted at 12:15 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2019
great post.
this made me lol, just so true and easy to miss when pining away for these shit heads:
"“What exactly is it that you bring to the party that would make me want to put up with this level of bullshit?”
puffstuff ( member #70814) posted at 12:16 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2019
puffstuff ( member #70814) posted at 12:22 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2019
Chili, i'd be fascinated to know how the AssClown is doing now? is he still with the AP?
puffstuff ( member #70814) posted at 12:25 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2019
one question i have that has really helped me detach, a question i roll over in my mind is:
just what is it i would be taking back?
it's a simple question but pondering it has helped me immensely.
gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 2:11 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2019
“Remember cause and effect. He put in motion a series of events that had real world consequences. He didn’t respect you and he also doesn’t respect himself or the agreements you made. He is the only one who can change that by new choices to modify behaviors and thinking."
I just made this my phone screensaver.
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies
SI Staff ( Moderator #10) posted at 9:56 PM on Thursday, November 28th, 2019
Bump 
heisasadcliche ( member #71662) posted at 10:50 PM on Thursday, November 28th, 2019
Working hard on indifference. It is much less painful.
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 11:06 PM on Thursday, June 25th, 2020
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
Outoflove2020 ( member #72682) posted at 11:15 PM on Thursday, June 25th, 2020
I literally read this a few days ago and found it to be one of the most useful things I have read, so much so I was inspired to reach out directly to Chili and thank her. Could it be part of the healing library?
DDay 1/15/2020.
Separated 3/1/2020
Still healing but in a better place
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