SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Absolutely. Cheating isn't a one way street. As vile and disgusting as those names are toward women, I feel if there were words to match them for males I'd call cheating men the same thing. Man-whore, Man-slut, etc. Those aren't terms of endearment to me.

You can't have cheating women without cheating men and vice-versa. They need each other. I'm neither, therefore I don't need either of those in my life (As lovers or friends). So to answer your question, I feel just as strongly about men who cheat - possibly even worse, because as a monogamous man, they give me a bad reputation (All men cheat, etc.)

As far as the demeaning word I stand by it. I find the whole reconciliation thing is a negative. It's like I said a cycle. I can cheat with x amount of women but my wife will forgive me eventually and we will reconcile. If there was more men and women out there like myself who viewed Infidelity as a deal-breaker, there would be far less problems, because Cheating Women will end up with Cheating Men, which is the natural order of things, in my opinion.

I shouldn't have to wad through a cess-pool of cheating women to find one, singular, beautiful gleaming, monogamous woman. By the time I find that woman, my whole entire personality will be torn apart, as it already has, and I'd have lost faith in womankind (Or man-kind if I was female)

Erik,

Fair enough, it's not just women you would call such names.

Maybe you have a point that if cheating was a deal breaker for ALL it wouldn't happen so much.

BUT I know that myself, FWH, and my kids are certainly happy that I do not have that stance on R.

People make horrible choices all the time. CHeaiting is way high up on the list of painful but there are others. My husband found the WORST way possible to try to fill whatever voids he had. He could have also turned to Drugs or something else.

Not all waywards are just flat out whores.

Thanks for your reply, I took your post as a woman hater kinda thing, you cleared that up.

We disagree on R being demeaning but thanks for explaining.

I think Erik is entitled to his opinion about R with a cheater, it sounded to me like he is writing about his own viewpoint and not about everyone elses situation.

I certainly thought that infidelity was a dealbreaker prior to my D-days. I am in R and have had to work through my own issues with feeling demeaned, devalued and disrespected by staying in a marriage with someone who cheats.

Hitbyatruck maybe you want to start your own thread to express some of your frustration or your viewpoint but it doesn't seem very fair to goose to highjack his thread.

Just a suggestion... I often start my own thread when an issue or statement in a thread bothers me. That way you can discuss more fully what bothers you.

Eric,

WTH?

According to you:

The problem is that he married a caucasion woman (I'm still not sure how you know the ethnicity of Goose's wife) not an Asian woman, who would rub his feet and kiss his feet and ass.

Now, (according to you) women a are "sluts".

Nice.

Where do you get off continuing with your stupid generalizations? It's insulting!

It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, white, black, purple, pink, Asian, Russian, Spanish or Mexican, (sorry if I left anyone out!) NONE of that matters!!!

If you are a HUMAN being with the morals and values of a sewer rat, you're a piece of shit. All of these other labels don't matter.

So STOP IT ALREADY!!!

Try rereading the crap you write before hitting the submit button.

Geesh!!!

**Goose, sorry I couldn't take it any more. Mod's: what can I say?

Why,

I did not write that Erik wasn't entitled to his opinion.

This thread has many slightly off original post comments but thanks for suggestion.

Last post here, last thing I want is for Goose to not come here because my posts have taken his thread and ripped it off course. I apologize AGAIN for that, by the way. I try and filter myself so much already, and I have to remember where I was, and where so many others still are. So anyone offended by my posts, I apologize, and yes it is sincere!

According to you:

The problem is that he married a caucasion woman (I'm still not sure how you know the ethnicity of Goose's wife) not an Asian woman, who would rub his feet and kiss his feet and ass.

No, the problem is he married a cheating Caucasian woman. When it comes to the cheating spectrum for women, Caucasian women make up a large percent of it, Asian women make up one of the least. I think Indian/Native women are the least. Why this is, I have theories. Western Societies, dominated by Caucasians, is very sexual. Everything is sex here. Our Societies, either it be Russia, United States, Canada, Sweden etc. is built around sex these days. Therefore our Societies, dominated by Caucasians, have become very sexually promiscuous.

As far as the kiss his ass and rub his feet comments, that's your own take on Asian women. That's racism coming from you, assuming all Asian women are good for is being sub-servant. That's terrible. You should have thought before you wrote that. I let it go once, but to keep putting such gross words in my mouth is highly insulting.

Now, (according to you) women a are "sluts".

Nice.

Cheating women? Yes. Just like cheating men are. In my opinion, of course.

If you are a HUMAN being with the morals and values of a sewer rat, you're a piece of shit. All of these other labels don't matter.

Where did I say any different? I like breaking things down in groups. North America studies have placed women cheaters at about 70% (I think, it's been awhile). I like to see what the racial makeup of that 70% is. If the majority of it is Caucasian women, then my logical brain thinks Caucasian women are more likely to cheat than women of other races.

Try rereading the crap you write before hitting the submit button.

I do. This is why I filter so much of my posts. I'm sorry they feel insulting to you, I truly am. You are a BW, NONE of my posts/points are EVER directed at you. Ever.

Again, I won't post again because my filter system isn't doing a good job. I apologize to you again, sadtoo, I'm sorry my posts cause you such negative feelings.

More blather....please stop. OMG.

This tread is off topic again and has totally ran it's coarse. I'm going to stop posting on this thread and start a new one in a few days..

Thank you everyone for helping me through some VERY dark days in the last two weeks. You have really helped me. I'm not sure what I would have done without you guys. Sucks that it didn't turn out better but that's life.

thanks again!!!!

Good call, goose'em.

Erik, if you are 'anti-marriage' and 'anti-reconciliation', why are you on a Surviving Infidelity board in the first place?

Maybe an Asian mail order bride site would be more appropriate.

You do realize that most of the people posting on this board are trying to reconcile, if it's possible. The people here are in a lot of pain and hoping that their WS is up for the hard work involved in true R.

Although I'm sure your anger at all women isn't something you want to admit yet, it is glaringly obvious.

Erik,

Haven't checked your stats and don't care to, but you might ask yourself who created this highly sexualized society - men or women? And what percentage of men cheat vs. women?

I feel like you hate women, in general, and I don't think I'm alone in this feeling. It'a hard to take because many on this board are women and we are hurting. We already feel put down and don't need an additional put down because we are women.

Sorry goose for the t/j. I have been following your story and feel your pain. My H is remorseful and "gets it" but I still think I'm staying mostly for my son - certainly early on in R it was for him more than me. I couldn't stay in your shoes either, but I'm still praying your WW will break out of the fog and "get it" soon.

My last t/j,

No, the problem is he married a cheating Caucasian woman. When it comes to the cheating spectrum for women, Caucasian women make up a large percent of it, Asian women make up one of the least. I think Indian/Native women are the least. Why this is, I have theories. Western Societies, dominated by Caucasians is very sexual. Everything is sex here. Our Societies, either it be Russia, United States, Canada, Sweden etc. is built around sex these days..

Have you ever considered that maybe this is because of simple demographics? There are almost 400,000,000 people in this country. Two thirds are white. One third are made up of Hispanic, Latino and Black Americans. Following that are the Asian and Native American Population.

So, I guess you're right. Most of the cheating women in this country are white. And the least number of cheating women would be with the Asian and following up in last place are the Native American women.

But what you seem to be MISSING here is that the percentage of cheaters within each these groups is THE SAME as the other. The only reason there are "more" than another in one particular group is because....well.....DUH!! ...there are MORE IN THAT GROUP!!!

Go get your mail order bride, cage her up, don't expose her to any of us "American caucasion women", and then come back and let us know how that worked out for you.

I'm wondering what you're doing here anyway. No intro thread. No profile. I'm wondering if you're a troll.

Erik, Please stay off this post.

You are generalizing which is against guidelines.

We edited your first post on this thread. Should have been a clue to you.

ETA: The rest of you.......back to topic please.

[This message edited by kdny at 12:49 PM, March 12th (Saturday)]