SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have a question for the menz.

I don't orgasm easily. I can manually myself, more easily with toys. But with someone else I feel like I'm always "oh there, no back, stop, up, right, 1 cm to the left" and it's just ridiculous and rarely gets me there.

1) should I try to broach the subject of what sorts of touch would lead to higher probability when we're not in the throes?

2)would it bother you if a toy was "necessary". Like, would you be somehow insulted? threatened? I dunno...disappointed? Just happy SOMETHING worked for christ sake?

In a new relationship and I'm wondering where to go with this. The good news is it's pretty clear he's determined to make it happen.

notmeanymore: Any instruction is good IMO. Just try to frame it as something you need and not something he's not doing right.

A woman who is determined to cum with me (with toys or whatever) is pretty f'n sexy, IMO.

I think instruction is great and I think honest communication about the toys (along the lines of what you just posted here) should be OK too. It isn't personal if it's a long standing problem you've had.

If a condom is the only means of birth control for you and your partner, would you rather have sex using a condom or not have sex?

Since he has the right perspective I would imagine a little help to fine tune his technique would be appreciated. I doubt toys would be a problem for me, just never needed them so far.

I would pick a condom over celibacy.

If a condom is the only means of birth control for you and your partner, would you rather have sex using a condom or not have sex?

Trick question, right? Sex please.

feelinghurt10 asked:

If a condom is the only means of birth control for you and your partner, would you rather have sex using a condom or not have sex?

Sex.

Now, there are lots of other ways to reach orgasm, too, but they should not be used as a substitute for condom-using sex.

notmeanymore asked:

1) should I try to broach the subject of what sorts of touch would lead to higher probability when we're not in the throes?

Talk before, directions a time or two and then I'll "handle" it from there. (Heh. See what I did there?)

2)would it bother you if a toy was "necessary". Like, would you be somehow insulted? threatened? I dunno...disappointed? Just happy SOMETHING worked for christ sake?

Queen said it best:

I consider it a challenge/ before the whole human race/ that I ain't gonna lose!

Seriously, if it were required then I would do my best to begin experimenting with ways that the toy would become not required. Still fun, but not required. Lots of practice. More foreplay, teasing, seducing, stroking various bits. If that didn't work I'd not be bothered, I'd just keep trying.

If a condom is the only means of birth control for you and your partner, would you rather have sex using a condom or not have sex?

Well, she can't use those pills because of a chemistry issue and I'm sure as hell not taking a knife to my dick, so we use condoms regularly.

would it bother you if a toy was "necessary". Like, would you be somehow insulted? threatened? I dunno...disappointed? Just happy SOMETHING worked for christ sake?

This used to be no problem for me..Toys?..bring'em on! Whatever you need to get off. But now I know with the OM she achieved orgasm 100% w/o toys, it can be a trigger.

I've never been in a situation where toys were necessary. But if that's what you need to be satisfied - then go girl.

Far better to say what you need , than rely on your partner to "get it", without any information.

I would choose option 1 over option 2 any day.

Toys have become an intimacy killer much like porn. It has come to the point they are the only option that still works. It was progressive. It is discouraging.

(The only reason it is not humiliating is I never had any issues with Women In my past)

As I read these I just wish I had a H to try these things on..they sound enjoyable either way...

@notmeanymore

1) Yes, you can bring up the subject. Though I would recommend making it less a discussion and about sharing something intimate. You could even make it a fun "game" of sorts with the idea of taking intimacy to the next level.

2) Never bothered me before. I'd rather be included than replaced.

@feelinghurt10

Condom. Every time.

This ques is for the ones who has been with prostitutes,

Do the encounters actually give the porn movie experience? I am assuming that works as a motivation for being with a prostitutes or escorts.

Is the sex actually that good that you would want to continue visiting prostitutes?

How do you feel having sex with your wife after being with prostitutes?

My WH never liked giving oral to me but he was happy to give oral to prostitutes cause he found them "cleaner"????? Is it his twisted mind or he is just not attracted to me?

[This message edited by Other2014 at 3:16 AM, February 15th (Sunday)]

Dipping my toe into this pool... Okay gentlemen, if another man told you he wasn't into masturbation, oral (giving or receiving), could only "come" in one position, what would you think??

Dipping my toe into this pool... Okay gentlemen, if another man told you he wasn't into masturbation, oral (giving or receiving), could only "come" in one position, what would you think??

I have never, ever heard of that -outside of- sexual hangups of some kind or other.

I've had women partners like this and they just weren't that into sex. Which sort of spoiled it for me.

Also, that doesn't sound like the wild, no holes barred, wrestling match that sexual romps should be. The intimacy you can get by spending a couple of hours or so exploring, pleasuring, and bonding feels wonderful.

[This message edited by devotedman at 12:08 PM, February 15th (Sunday)]

SpecialK, this makes sense to me only if the guy is in his sixties.

Notmeanymore, toys are good to get things started if the ice needs thawing.

As to minutely detailed instructions during sex, I sometimes get this from fWW and it can be frustrating.

BUT, it can be (and usually is) very arousing. My pretty, sexy bride telling me what to do to her? Naked? In bed?

VA VA VOOM!

Never been with prostitutes... Gross. I'll have to skip that one.

Okay gentlemen, if another man told you he wasn't into masturbation, oral (giving or receiving), could only "come" in one position, what would you think??

I would think he might be a martian or something. I doubt that's the sort of thing a guy would share with his buddies, though, so it could be a thing...