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General :
Ashley Madison hacked

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scared&stronger ( member #15942) posted at 10:26 PM on Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

I read that blog today. It did make me smile.

WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.



posts: 4060   ·   registered: Aug. 27th, 2007
id 7290234
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Exit Wounds ( member #32811) posted at 10:31 PM on Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

I mostly feel sorry for the children that are now having to deal with daddy or mommy being a AM whore!

If this information does come out, kids will be shunned by neighbors etc.

My real worry is the impact on the little ones!

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 4:32 PM, July 21st (Tuesday)]

Exit Wounds
H of 17 years got gf pregnant, left our kids 9 & 11 and we never saw him again. -His choice.

posts: 2692   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Texas
id 7290235
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:33 PM on Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

Best thing to happen to Ashley M

fBS/fWS(me):48 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, NPD tendencies
Together 25 years, Married 19
DD(18) DS(15)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8218   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 7290239
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Sumrlady ( member #4355) posted at 10:53 PM on Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

I haven't been to SI in a few years, I think...but I had to come back when I saw this in the news. Awesome! I googled PERNELL GRAZETTE and sure enough - a real person. Boy did he win the lottery! The one random person chosen to be "proof" from all of the other 40,000,000.

I have no sympathy. I also love the fact that the hackers left the other sites alone - even the swingers site. Rightfully so - they are targeting the sights that are built on Lies and Cheating. Awesome!

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover-Mark Twain

posts: 3142   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2004   ·   location: N. California
id 7290267
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Sal1995 ( member #39099) posted at 4:39 AM on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

I'm amazed that anyone would sign up under their real name. AM wasn't a factor in my wife's betrayal, so I don't know much about it except what I read on here from time to time. But that strikes me as pretty naive unless the site seriously misleads people about their privacy and security.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 10:41 PM, July 21st (Tuesday)]

BH
Reconciled

posts: 1995   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2013   ·   location: Southwest
id 7290554
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h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 4:44 AM on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

I'm amazed that anyone would sign up under their real name.

Most probably didn't, but if its anything like most legitimate online dating sites, you need to use a credit card to actually use the site. Real names would be in the database.

posts: 3136   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: Baja Arizona
id 7290558
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eric1 ( member #47762) posted at 9:39 AM on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

In addition, last login date will be in the database as well. I don't know what the hackers got and what they will release, but last login is a field in the database just like everything else.

posts: 1040   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2015
id 7290716
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 3:21 PM on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

I also created an account out of suspicion and thought I would “peek around” on the site, this is at a time when my wife was very unhappy with her job, where we had moved, me working long hours and a few other factors. In both cases I deleted my profile after a very short period of time.

Well...your wife certainly deserves to know you went looking for an affair. Regardless of your reasons, you did it. If you are worried about the AM hacking..that means you didn't tell her. If your life is ruined, or your wife's, or your kids, because YOU signed up on a cheater hookup site..that's on you. Not the hackers. Not your wife for being unhappy, not the move, not working long hours..no..you are responsible for your actions.

I suggest you tell her..before she finds out on her own. Chances are, she will be extremely hurt. She may not believe you. She will feel betrayed...a married man signing up on a hookup site is cheating..whether you actually had sex with anyone or not.But, that's the chance you took when you signed up. The best thing you can do is own it, tell her, and be honest.

Don't men have to pay to have an account on AM? I know it's free for women..but don't the men have to pay?

[This message edited by confused615 at 9:21 AM, July 22nd (Wednesday)]

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 7290956
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 4:02 PM on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

First I want to say that the thought of Ashley Madison is repugnant to me.

Secondly, I want to suggest that maybe there is a misconception about the word "karma". In the true sense of the word, being thrilled about someone else's downfall will actually come back to bite you in the ass.

And most importantly, I think sometimes we all get in our heads that sites like Ashley Madison are the problem. We all know that the truth is – that our cheating spouses/significant others would have cheated with or without Ashley Madison.

It is sort of like blaming the telephone when someone interacts inappropriately with their phone. Or blaming the computer for online relationships. Or blaming a car for driving someone to visit an affair partner.

True cheaters will find a way to cheat. They always have – before Ashley Madison – and they always will. With or without sites like those.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7332   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 7291018
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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 6:35 PM on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

I don't know what sort of information my ex and the Owife posted on there, but if they are exposed, serves them right. As my mom has always said, "Don't write down what you don't want the world to know!"

I don't know that it's karma as much as it is just sheer stupidity. If you're going to associate with such a nefarious site, be prepared to be connected with it publicly in this era of hacking.

Though I'm sure that another site will just pop up in its place, I would really be happy to see AM in particular shut down. It won't bring back my marriage or make my life happy, but it would make me smile.

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 7291217
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sad81712 ( member #37418) posted at 9:56 PM on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

I'm loving this hack! I think they all should be exposed! My fwh was on AM.

Thank you to SnafuNJ for posting the full letter!!! Where did you find it??

Please post any updates...I can't find anything on the web!

"Pain is mandatory for all of us. It's what teaches us. Suffering is what's optional. That's what happens when we try to skip over the pain."-Glennon Doyle Melton
BW(me)-52 WH-51
Married 25yrs
DD & DS
D-day 8-2012

posts: 163   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2012
id 7291475
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OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 5:39 AM on Thursday, July 23rd, 2015

I would be curious to learn what the male to female ratio is in that database. Typically hookup sites are dominated by men, no? Wouldn't it be hilarious if it were like 100:1? All those idiots flocking to every fake female profile that pops up.

BH, now divorced

posts: 3529   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 7291861
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Opinionsplease ( member #47624) posted at 9:28 AM on Thursday, July 23rd, 2015

Wonder if they will also post the "secret" photos of headless men in suit jackets with their penises out. I mean your wife is not going to recognise you (and what a turn-on to a perfect stranger). Seedy beyond belief the whole disgusting lot of it. I'm sorry for the people who'll find out, but none of us I think would say we'd rather never have known. The numbers, how sad. And that's only one of the disgusting sites they use. UGH.

[This message edited by Opinionsplease at 9:09 AM, July 24th (Friday)]

posts: 1112   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2015
id 7291928
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eric1 ( member #47762) posted at 11:02 AM on Thursday, July 23rd, 2015

Reddit had a Q&A with an ex employee before and speaking towards ratios it was way worse than 100:1.

posts: 1040   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2015
id 7291953
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CanoeVA ( member #46071) posted at 2:33 PM on Thursday, July 23rd, 2015

this was on national news (TV) today. First I'd seen of it on television.

Me = BH
fWW- 2014 affair most of year; EA Feb/March became PA April until DDay
Married 1986
DDay- 12/08/14
2 adult children, mid 20s
OM = Wife's best friend's brother
We're both working on R

posts: 2571   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 7292075
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SpecialK ( member #42372) posted at 2:44 PM on Thursday, July 23rd, 2015

I have enjoyed reading the responses, they go from one side of the spectrum to the other.

My thought about sites like these, are what does it say about society in general, I am not naive to think infidelity "just" started, but it's still disgusting to see how many people participate in it.

I have to say that I don't feel one iota of sorry for anyone who signed up on sites like this.

And miles to go......

posts: 1906   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern USA
id 7292087
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Opinionsplease ( member #47624) posted at 3:09 PM on Friday, July 24th, 2015

Anybody got a link to the list?

posts: 1112   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2015
id 7293335
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 3:24 PM on Friday, July 24th, 2015

Is anyone else like me? Years out from dday...and worried my WH is on that list...and Im about to have a new dday?

He said he wasn't...but he also never admitted to anything I didn't find proof of.

Sigh.

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 7293362
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Montreal ( member #40627) posted at 4:14 PM on Friday, July 24th, 2015

My wife was on Ashley Madison, but she never supplied any credit card information and used a now-non-existant email address. Me, on the other hand, while using a fake email address, DID use my credit card. See, after D-Day she had told me that she shut down everything but I needed proof so I created an account (no pictures) to see if she was still there, and to try and catch her. Early days after D-Day don't you know, when the brain-thinking-thing wasn't so strong. She had told me that she only responded to guys with premium accounts (i.e. the ones who had paid using a credit card) because those were the "serious ones". So I got me a premium account. Never caught her though.

So my wife, who cheated, is not on the list. Or at least not in any recognizable way. On the other hand I am, despite being the faithful one. If we divorce and I move on, and this list becomes public … well, it will be a nice little story that I will have to explain to any future partner now won't it? "Trust me… I know how this looks…" Or, for that matter, any of my friends, neighbors or family members who decide to browse the list to see if they know anyone. Granted, it's a pretty big list but who knows what a Control F search will find.

Just another topping on the shit-sandwich we've been forced to eat I guess.

DDay: July 6, 2013
Trying.

posts: 151   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2013
id 7293435
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Guinness23 ( member #42852) posted at 4:16 PM on Friday, July 24th, 2015

What is going on with this set of scum dwellers? Have they shut the damn things down yet? Have the hackers released the names they promised? Or was this a publicity stunt?

Me 48
Divorced 2010

1."'FOREVER' in love" lasts only 14 years.
2. Alcohol is NO solution just a bigger problem

My favorite drink is water. Call me Dasani23

posts: 3212   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2014   ·   location: Indiana
id 7293440
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