Newest Member: faithfulMan911

Just Found Out :
Married, 3 children, wife had EA (?). Need advice.

This Topic is Archived
default

Thumos ( Member #69668) posted at 10:45 PM on Tuesday, December 17th, 2019

BSPheonix, how are you?

I'm going through my very own showdown with my WW over a poly scheduled for Monday the 23rd.

Hang in there.

"True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure. The greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character's essential nature."

BH (me): 50, WW: 49
Married: Feb. 1996
DDAY: Dec. 20

posts: 4214   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2019   ·   location: UNITED STATES
id 8484179
default

steadychevy ( Member #42608) posted at 12:00 AM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2019

My best wishes to you as you proceed, Thumos. Clarity of thought and strength of mind to you.

BSPheonix, you haven't posted for a week. Hope that's a good sign but thinking it's not.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4658   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8484218
default

Thumos ( Member #69668) posted at 6:17 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2020

BSPheonix, any news now that the holidays are over?

"True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure. The greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character's essential nature."

BH (me): 50, WW: 49
Married: Feb. 1996
DDAY: Dec. 20

posts: 4214   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2019   ·   location: UNITED STATES
id 8492192
default

Unsure2019 ( Member #71350) posted at 3:46 AM on Tuesday, January 7th, 2020

[This message edited by Unsure2019 at 9:54 PM, January 6th (Monday)]

posts: 203   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2019   ·   location: California
id 8492435
default

 BSPheonix (original poster Member #72159) posted at 1:12 PM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2020

Hi All,

Thank you for the support. I hope you all had a good break over the holiday period and wish you the best for 2020.

Life was exceptionally busy, hence the absence. My VARs haven't revealed anything further of note. My WW has completed the timeline I asked for in as much detail as possible and, has answered any other questions I had based on that. I'm reluctant to poly for a number of reasons (one being the seeming lack of reliable suppliers in the UK and, another being that I think I've resigned myself to focus on healing and, to be honest, roll the dice). At this point, even if a poly was performed and, the results were incriminating, I'd still stay for the sake of the children. I refuse to let the actions of others damage my children if I can take steps to mitigate this.

posts: 91   ·   registered: Nov. 27th, 2019
id 8492983
default

fareast ( Member #61555) posted at 1:39 PM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2020

Totally your call on the poly. You can always change your mind in the future if you feel the need. The other things on your list of demands have been completed, STD test, timeline, post nup. Your WW is still No Contact. You did well by taking control. Be vigilant. But by all means concentrate on your healing. Take care of you. Good luck.

[This message edited by fareast at 11:11 AM, January 8th (Wednesday)]

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 2792   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8492990
default

Thumos ( Member #69668) posted at 4:55 PM on Wednesday, January 8th, 2020

BS, I'm getting ready to move forward with a post nup from my wife, since she's offered. I wondered if you had any good examples to draw from or did an attorney do it for you? Send me a PM with any information if you're comfortable - thanks in advance.

"True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure. The greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character's essential nature."

BH (me): 50, WW: 49
Married: Feb. 1996
DDAY: Dec. 20

posts: 4214   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2019   ·   location: UNITED STATES
id 8493132
default

 BSPheonix (original poster Member #72159) posted at 3:37 PM on Thursday, February 6th, 2020

Hey @Thumos, apologies for the delay in responding. I don't seem able to PM you. Perhaps I need to reach a certain number of posts before that functionality is available? Anyway, I had a solicitor friend go over things with me and, most of it revolves around the law specific to the country I'm in (where post-nups tend to be upheld).

posts: 91   ·   registered: Nov. 27th, 2019
id 8506301
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.000.20210917 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy