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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 5:48 AM on Monday, December 19th, 2011
survivor_kh ( member #33738) posted at 5:52 AM on Monday, December 19th, 2011
I needed this. Very true words! They are just hard to remember sometimes.
Surviving is important, thriving is elegant- Maya Angelou
you is kind, you is smart, you is important
2yrs+recovering ( member #31582) posted at 5:41 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
I will be the first to admit that before DDay I was naive, but I believed what I did based on vows taken and 16 years of shared history. The level of stupidity needed to be an AP proves that indeed, they do always affair down.
I am almost at the 3 yr mark post Dday and...
I still love to read this post. 
We all know what the motives of our WH were.
But the motives of the OW???
This says it all. My FWH said that last OW (LTA) was really stupid, and that is the only thing he said that made sense. Sometimes I think he may have been happier with someone less his equal. Is that why they affair down???
BS (me)60 FWH 72
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?
Survivor6388 ( member #34049) posted at 5:48 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
I keep telling myself this.
But at this point I'm really failing.
Me BS: 23
Him WS: 26
2 kids DD is 3 DS is 2
D-day: 11/27/11 12 EAs and 2 PAs 14 OW
Status: I don't care anymore. I'm trapped and I don't want to be here.
BetrayedSAHM ( member #27305) posted at 5:54 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
This is so, so true. Thanks for sharing - and re-posting.
Two years out from d-day and headed for divorce: sometimes the WS is just as broken as the OP and we, the BSs, are better off ending the marriage.
Totally divorced and moved on. Life is fantastic
DS(9) & DD(9)
Dday: 1/1/2010
Twigs323 ( member #34055) posted at 5:58 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
Yes, my FWH definitely picked 2 fuglies....overweight, unattractive and old. His friends and business associates would laugh their asses off if they saw pics of them. My girlfriend was in total disbelief when I showed her.
They pursued, stroked his ego (and dick). That's what they were to him, a means to an end.
He didn't talk about me to them at all (from what I saw). One of them even said (after discovery) that "I think he loves his wife" and "Oh, his wife is really pretty" Great I can sleep soundly now. (insert sarcasm).
They were needy, clingy, older desperate skanks who lured their prey the only way they know how.....sex.
Harlowe ( member #34281) posted at 7:24 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
Unfortunately, my WH Affaired Up.
She is a little older than I but she is thinner and prettier and has a better rack.
There is really no way I can compete... nor do I want to.
Me ~ BS~43
Husband ~ WS~47
Second Marriage for both ~ almost 9 years
5 kids ~ my 2, his 1 and our 2
DDay ~ 11/5/11 DDay 2 ~ 1/7/12
In R and it is going well
onedayatatime321 ( member #32585) posted at 7:54 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
Harlowe...no he did not affair up. He chose to be with a woman who had no self respect and was willing to be his whore.
You were faithful and loved him. You were, and are, the better woman. Stop believing he "affaired up".
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:06 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
She is a little older than I but she is thinner and prettier and has a better rack.
If your H is shallow enough to covet a rack, then you will be much happier without him. Don't fall prey to the objectification bug yourself, though.
Twigs323 ( member #34055) posted at 8:26 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
Harlowe,
He affaired down. If she was "all that" why did she have to pursue another woman's husband??? She is pathetic and desperate which makes her ugly inside and out.
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 9:19 AM on Friday, January 13th, 2012
AttemptStrength ( member #27947) posted at 6:06 AM on Monday, January 23rd, 2012
BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS
I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.
emilys ( new member #34612) posted at 5:24 PM on Monday, January 23rd, 2012
Thank you for posting this, I was able to get up today and be a better mother to my child, clean my house, take a shower, and eat a bowl of cereal. I feel better, maybe just for a little while but it doesn't matter, this moment matters. To Mrs. Martha I think her name is, go screw yourself and don't post on this forum. We need this support for ourselfs and our children. The OW we need to hear and know that she is a coward. GO AWAY
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 4:48 AM on Saturday, February 4th, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
poshaccent ( member #33126) posted at 5:31 AM on Saturday, February 4th, 2012
This post always pops up when I need it...thank you for bumping...
Harlowe, what goes up always come down...and a grrrreat rack will eventually be subject to gravity. It is just a matter fo time.
As for my WH OWs...So the tought of the day is, at least I never showed my boobs and a lot more (I spare you the disgusting details) to strange men I just met over the internet...that's one brownie point for me.
Fixmybrokenheart ( new member #34015) posted at 5:28 PM on Saturday, February 4th, 2012
I just copied and emailed this post to myself! I will read it EVERYDAY! Thank you! So hits the nail on the head, (or the whore in the heart?!- hehe!!!)
Me BS 33
Him WS 36
Married 10 years
2 kids 10 and 8. Twins coming spring 2012
DDay 24 September 2011 (after 6 months of denial) EA & PA with s girl 14 years younger, a co-worker
Trying to R
2Bhappyagain ( new member #34703) posted at 11:05 PM on Saturday, February 4th, 2012
This is just the exact thing that I needed to read right now! Thank you! It is so true when you think about it. I know what the OW looks like...I don't know her personally, but from what I've heard about her from my H and the pictures I've seen of her, I know for a fact that she is complete downgrade from me! Thanks again! This is a GREAT post!
" We all have those moments that some call “suddenly’s”. Moments that forever change the path of our lives."
BS- (me) 25
WH- 28
Kids- 5,3,and Twins 4 mo.
DD 1: 3/4/09
DD 2: 9/24/11
Anchor ( new member #34731) posted at 11:53 PM on Saturday, February 4th, 2012
This is exactly what I needed to read today. It is also what our MC said to me one time when WS wasn't there.
OnAnIsland ( member #34319) posted at 12:38 PM on Sunday, February 5th, 2012
Thanks for that. I am still to shattered from d-day (Christmas 2011) to truly believe this every day. But the more I learn about her, the more I see her weaknesses and pathology. She has her own husband. Why try to take down two marriages. I think she hoped my husband was her exit affair. Sorry, honey.
D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
AnotherNumb ( new member #34395) posted at 2:02 PM on Sunday, February 5th, 2012
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