This Topic is Archived
ccw82 ( member #40133) posted at 2:19 AM on Thursday, April 9th, 2015
Sharing this! The analogies are spot on. Keep bumping for awareness!
Me (BW): 39
WXH (1DumbHusband): 43
We were married for over 11 years; now divorced.
BIG D-Day: June 17th, 2013
Too many freaking TTs that cost us our marriage in the end.
"Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice."
Macsecond ( member #43972) posted at 1:09 AM on Tuesday, April 21st, 2015
Me - WW (42)
Him - BH (40)
Married 18 years.
2 amazing daughters (DD10 and DD6)
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)
sorrowfulmate ( member #43441) posted at 4:44 PM on Thursday, April 30th, 2015
Me-WS 52 Her-BS 51 Questioningall
5 kids DDay 12/13 (lied ONS)
Dday 3/3/14 - multiple EA, PA
TT ended in October when I had polygraph
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BS Roberts
sorrowfulmate ( member #43441) posted at 4:26 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2015
Me-WS 52 Her-BS 51 Questioningall
5 kids DDay 12/13 (lied ONS)
Dday 3/3/14 - multiple EA, PA
TT ended in October when I had polygraph
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BS Roberts
SuchRegret25 ( member #49506) posted at 5:19 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2015
Thanks for the bump, sorrowfulmate. As always, your insight and resources are very helpful. The last part rung true to me:
"The sad fact is, all of the change in yourself that you accomplish may not save your marriage. Your spouse may not have waited for you to finish cleaning the boat. They may have jumped into the sea before you were done. They may have swam into the sunset. If that happens, don’t give up on yourself. Fixing and finding yourself will keep you afloat even if you are alone. What happens if your spouse has braved this journey with you now is not your choice. Your spouse may choose to walk away. Solid ground does not erase the fact that you blew up the marriage ship to begin with."
Still have to keep rinsing my mud away.
Me: 25 y/o betrayer
Him: 30 y/o betrayed
Us: Together since 2009, engaged in 2012. My EA/PA began in March/April 2015. D-day 7/5/15. Relationship over 9/7/15.
Valentinessucks ( member #46486) posted at 6:40 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2015
Wincings, thank you for that wonder post!!!
Very important bump, Sorrowful. Thanks.
Me: BS, 52 Him: WS, 68
Married 30 yrs; DDay E/A, 5/2012
2nd DDay, again E/A, broke NC 2/2014 Reconciling.
guiltyparty15 ( member #49524) posted at 7:54 PM on Sunday, October 4th, 2015
This is amazing. Hits the nail on the head. It helps me put this in perspective and more importantly gives us hope. Thank you
Me: WW, 35
He: BH, 38
Married 4 years
D-Day 8/30/2015 (ONS)
Macsecond ( member #43972) posted at 10:26 PM on Wednesday, November 25th, 2015
Me - WW (42)
Him - BH (40)
Married 18 years.
2 amazing daughters (DD10 and DD6)
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)
gonnabegr8 ( member #46415) posted at 2:03 AM on Friday, November 27th, 2015
Defenselessunder ( member #47157) posted at 3:34 PM on Monday, November 30th, 2015
Yes, thank you wincing and all who bumped this. I'm feeling so lost today. This doesn't help me feel better. It does help me see why I feel lost. See why more fully-analogies are good like that. I'm more aware that I lost the trust and care of my BS. I lost it in making a choice to be for myself. Made a choice to be for myself alone. If I feel alone at times (poor me), that's what I chose way back when I started lying about what I felt, hiding inconsistencies and weakness (perceived weakness).
The section on marital problems is so correct for me. Seeing problems between us through the window of my betrayal is so dangerous for me. I have done that so often. I am so sad about that. I have drained BS of hope about us ever getting truly close again. Just where I am today....
WS
8 years of anonymous hook ups
Dday 8/1/13
TT until 2/14
Long road back...
gonnabegr8 ( member #46415) posted at 4:24 AM on Monday, August 7th, 2017
Bumping cause it's a good read - you gotta go nuclear on the A to get rid of the sh*t 
gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 6:48 AM on Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies
This Topic is Archived
