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WhatHaveIDone?? ( member #30054) posted at 5:20 PM on Thursday, January 6th, 2011
Bump. Just coming across this for the first time - VERY well written wincings! Thank you so much for sharing with us.
I am still working my way thru the Muck - it is hard work but well worth it! Who knows when I will be able to get to the Mud....but then again who cares how long it takes as long as you are doing real work!
((wincings))
WhatHaveIDone?? ( member #30054) posted at 10:22 PM on Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
fromthisdayfwd ( member #30634) posted at 10:46 PM on Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
wincings_sparkle ~ Thank you. I am so proud of you. BW here, and what I get out of this is: HOPE. If you get it then it is entirely possible that my WH gets it, too.
WOW! I really hope my WH reads this.
I have thought through your analogy a little further....
The destination of the Ship of Life may very well be different than the destination of the Life Boat.
Either partner may or may not appreciate the new destination.
I pray my destination is somewhere tropical!
Married 8/20/1994
Betrayed
DDay 6/23/2010
A gift is not given if it has been demanded.
Failure to attempt is failure.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:47 PM on Thursday, February 3rd, 2011
WhatHaveIDone?? ( member #30054) posted at 3:53 AM on Saturday, February 12th, 2011
I just stumbled on this again tonight and wanted to bump it for anyone who has not read it yet. It is a great perspective and a wonderful analogy.
Thanks again wincings!
fromthisdayfwd ( member #30634) posted at 4:46 PM on Friday, February 25th, 2011
Married 8/20/1994
Betrayed
DDay 6/23/2010
A gift is not given if it has been demanded.
Failure to attempt is failure.
fromthisdayfwd ( member #30634) posted at 4:52 PM on Friday, February 25th, 2011
I really hope they will put this one in the library, too!
Married 8/20/1994
Betrayed
DDay 6/23/2010
A gift is not given if it has been demanded.
Failure to attempt is failure.
HUFI-PUFI ( member #25460) posted at 3:46 PM on Thursday, March 10th, 2011
It was time to bump this back to the front where it might be read again and the wisdom in it shared once more. BUMP!
Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 1:49 AM on Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
A friend asked where this post was. Bump, here it is. 
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
LostMySoulMate1 ( member #31833) posted at 5:29 AM on Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
ME:BW42 HIM:WS40 MARRIED19years 2Teens DdayFeb2009.
outmymind ( member #31673) posted at 5:44 AM on Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
ME-BS42 WS-37 last DDay 11/1/10
jdt1973 ( member #31750) posted at 2:22 PM on Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
Thanks for this post. This is what I needed to read today!!
After all is said and done, just shut the hell up.
WH(me) 38
BS 38
Togethher 21 years, married 19
5 kids - 17,15,12,10,2
DD#1 4/2001 - EA/PA
DD#2 10/2009 - EA/PA
DD#3 1/4/2011 - EA/PA same AP as DD#2
R - trying hard
wincings_sparkle (original poster member #27129) posted at 3:06 AM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
Bumping for a friend.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light
Feb 8, 2011 ( member #31137) posted at 6:36 PM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
Great post...I wish my WW was ready to find it on her own.
She's expecting me to fly in with a rescue chopper.
Seriously, I am very encouraged and optimistic with my recent visits to this forum. At the same time, I am also disappointed in my WW who, while she does want us to stay together, seems to want it to not take much work other than being nice to each other and spending more time together
D-Day see username
and maybe March 11, 11
ME: 45 yr old BH
Her: 40 yr old WW
3 kids
married 11 years
Who is this woman in my house?!
isthisforreal ( member #30926) posted at 7:45 PM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
wow, this is outstanding. FWH will be reading this tonight.
BW me 47
WH him 52
married 24 years
DD 9/15/10
3 incredible teenage daughters
"it only hurts when I breathe"
Paperclip ( member #27192) posted at 7:47 PM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
Wow, this is wonderful, wincings.
Just-a-Statistic ( member #31244) posted at 8:33 PM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
Excellent!!! I'm with Feb 8... Unfortunately after a great start I think we hit a plateau and the boat is taking more and more water. I am passed out. He can't swim. Being nice to each other, doung more stuff together and having more sex seems to be his recipe for R. I am teetering on the edge today... Hope that there is a life jacket on that damn boat!!!
Me: 50; Him: 52
DDay 6/1/11; 3 known OWs
WhatHaveIDone?? ( member #30054) posted at 2:03 AM on Thursday, May 12th, 2011
I still love this thread!!!
I stick with my original post...still working my way thru the muck. I am finding there is a lot of muck, but I am working thru it. Somedays I wonder if there is an end to it - not in a hopeless way but from the perspective that if you don't clear up the muck completely it can come back.
The mud is far on the horizon, but I think I am beginning to see it. We shall see.
Thanks again wincings for posting!
nothingman ( new member #30347) posted at 7:18 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2011
Yes, a most awesome post and analogy. Thank you for your wisdom and another vision to keep in my head.
I continue to work on my mud and muck, and with each handful that I get out, there seems to be another, thicker handful to grab under it. I'm hopeful I'll get to the bottom of that pile as long as I keep digging with both hands...
I am also very hopeful that when we hit that shore that there on that island there is everything we need to build a new marriage ship. A strong and beautiful one that we can build together with our whole hearts. One that is worthy of my wonderful and beautiful BS.
I have hope for that shore. I have hope for that new ship. I believe I have the strength and resolve to get there.
Me : WS 40
Her : BS 40
married 15 yrs
Dday 11/26/10
chancesrup ( member #32015) posted at 9:07 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2011
This is just what I needed today. Thank you.
Me BS 32
Him WH 40
Whorefaced gutter pig: Old HS gfriend, single (thanks SI for the name:)
DS 5 yrs, DD 4 yrs
DD1 1/11, DD2 4/11 and the TT just keeps on coming.. but is slowing down
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