SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My sister experienced love at first site and has been married for a over two decades.

They are very happy! I know this for a fact. I am pretty intuitive.

My other sister is also really happy in her marriage. She says they can basically read one anothers minds. They are happy, and I can see this as well.

They both experienced love at first site. According to their stories.

Sometimes it happens.

I used to. FWH and I were childhood sweethearts (stuck like glue from the age of 4). He was my 1st kiss, and even after his family moved away we would somehow find a way back into each other's lives. By the time I was a junior in college I hadn't heard from him in 6 years. I came home after class and my phone rang. He was in town and had picked up a copy of the college paper and saw my name on an article. He called the newspaper office and finally convinced someone to give him my number. Seeing him that night was like coming home.

I always believed we were designed for one another. However, hearing how OW described their relationship as having the same kind of significance has literally made the notion of soulmates repugnant to me. I can't think of him that way anymore.

aLadyPilot said exactly what I think?

Nope. I think we can be compatible with a number of people, and can have great chemistry with a few, but that *one* person? Nah. I think that's where choice comes into play.

I did w/ my xH, love at first site, soulmates, but alas we didn't make it through the rough stuff life dealt us. He did tell others he felt we were soulmates......but we divorced so, end of story, though we do remain friends and talk frequently and he still makes me laugh my ass off sometimes which I miss.

Of course xWBF gave soulmates a WHOLE NEW MEANING when I read his secret Match profile stating he was looking for his "solemate"....what a heel! I hope he finds "it" someday!!

No, I don't believe in love at first sight. I've never believed in that.

It just doesn't make sense to me to think that at one look you would care more about this complete stranger than about anyone else or yourself.

Lust at first sight, absolutely! Haven't we all experienced that??!?! Still do now and then - I just don't act on it!

Soulmates - I guess it depends on what you mean by that. I don't think it's a destiny thing and that there's only person out there for each of us. I do believe a relationship can grow and deepen and you become soulmates.

Just my two cents.

Hearing that MOW referred to FWH as her soulmate was one of the most painful moments of Dday #2. I remember just standing there with the phone to my ear and listening in stunned silence. Knowing in that instant that it was NOT just sex. That MOW truly felt in love with FWH. Talk about a knife to the gut. I hung up the phone and threw up violently. And then had that followed up by a phone call to MOWXH where he told me that they were very much still in contact and exhanging ILUs. And promptly threw up again. And then confronted FWH when he came home from work that night with an empty stomach.

As far as what I believed prior to the A? I remember seeing my FWH across the cafe at school and thinking he was adorable and wishing I could talk to him somehow. And when he got up his nerve and talked to me first? I was in heaven. Absolute heaven. I remember holding his hand and feeling more emotion in holding his hand than anyone else's kiss had ever caused.

I still treasure that memory, thankfully. But now I know that apparently MOW had that old 'high school crush that never was' thing going on and it tarnishs my memory a bit, if that makes sense? But not enough to have me not remember that moment in a good way.

I will say that any mention of 'soulmates', 'meant to be together' or 'the heart wants what it wants' makes me want to hurl. Or say bad words at the very least.

I hate that just knowing that MY husband was someone else's 'soulmate', even if it was for a short time. It hurts more than I ever thought it could. If I never hear the word again, I'll be content, thank you very much.

[This message edited by betrayedandnumb at 6:52 AM, September 5th (Sunday)]

Absolutely not. I think that has been a term developed mainly by people who want an 'excuse' to either have an affair or divorce and marry someone else. It's just the early stages of infatuation. All relationships start with that, and either develop into more, or end. Those that say it was 'love at first sight' were just deeply attracted to the other person at first, and then after they got to know them, infatuated enough to continue the 'learning stage' until it developed into a marriage. The fact that they are still happily married just shows they have common morals, thoughts about issues, etc. and have worked at their marriage more than the outsider can tell. Those people, both parties, took their marriage vows seriously and never allowed their 'thought processes' to stray beyond the initial thought that someone else of the opposite sex might be cute or good looking, but they stopped it at that point. That's what all of us should do. If we're truly unhappy in a marriage, then either work on it or divorce, and only AFTER that divorce, should someone start looking for a replacement.

Just my two cents.

I do. I live with mine.

Not any more.

I would agree that people come into my life for a reason but should my husband and I ever part, my soul is not empty or missing anything.

I think part of our issue was the whole soul mate thing. He sucked my soul right out of me. Not any more.

We will live our lives together because we are a good fit, in our souls, minds and bodies. We choose to be together.

Love at first sight. Nope, never believed in it. Physical chemistry at first sight, sure. Mental connection at first sight, yes. Love, nope. I always knew love was bigger than a moment.

nope. never did.

I honestly don't know.

I believe that God has a good plan for my life, but one certain person meant for me? I don't know.

I am happy for couples that say they married their soulmates and have had no infidelity in their marriage...good for them.

Since dday, I am now jaded toward 'soulmates' ideals. My fwh demolished any of my beliefs about true love.

I know there are people who are lucky enough to find 'the one' for life, and have a faithful, loving spouse for life...

they are very fortunate.

My life didn't turn out that way.

I used to when I was married to WXH.

If there are soulmates, I just haven't found mine yet, because I wouldn't treat my worst enemy the way that he treated me.

I don't think that there is just one person on this Earth that is "the one" for me. I think that there are multiple potential soulmates for me out there.

No I do not!

I agree that this term is used by people who want to justify having sex with the wrong people: Those they are cheating with, and not married to!

My husband claimed the psycho OW was his "soulmate" but he couldn't define what that meant?

It's a form of "trashy love talk" in my opinion.

I don't believe in love at first sight or soulmates either before or after dday. I believe that compatibility and compromise can foster loving actions which will lead to loving feelings.

I don't think WH ever thought this way. I don't think he believes in soulmates but I do think he believes to some extent in love at first sight. He was proclaiming his love for me long before I was ready to say the L word.

I don't think so any more. Just before I took stbxWW in for her 3rd detox for alcoholism, she told her mother how I was her soulmate. Less than 30 days later she was in bed with a POS she met in detox. I took her to ERs, I held her while she went through shakes during withdrawals, and he was "accepting" relapsing and getting drunk with her. That's how I found out about the A, she called me from a hotel room thinking she was dying from withdrawals and he was too passed out to help after she had disappeared for several days with the POS MOM. No, I don't think I believe in soulmates anymore. That belief was shattered along with my heart.

I don't believe in soulmates. Ironically MOW told me about a month before Dday that she did in my opinion, she would need to have a soul first, but that's just me

I used to believe in soulmates until my ws told ow that he used to think I was his soulmate but he was wrong and maybe it was ow who was his soulmate. Soulmates makes me sick now.

Soul mate, gee, the very thing the whore said to my husband 2 weeks into their affair.

She told him he was her soul mate.

Do I believe in soul mates.

Not a chance. In fact it's a lame attempt by those seeking what they want from another in more cases than not.

I have decided I like my teaching minister's position on this.

He says no, he doesn't beleive in soul mates, in there being one person out there for everyone. Because if one person picks wrong, wouldn't it screw up everything? He said "Look at the person you married. That's your soul mate."

I really like this.

do

i don't believe in just one. i don't believe in many but more than one.