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D!senchanted ( member #25150) posted at 4:19 AM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
Nope. I don't think I ever bought the whole 'soul mate' concept. But especially after the A, NO.
BS-31(at the time) (Me)
FWH(Brosef22)-32 (at the time) (EA & PA)
D-Day: 12-11-2008; The TRUTH: 10-28-09; 1 False R. Now in REAL R.
We have two beautiful boys and a precious little girl!
I edit because random letters tend to magical
refuz2bavictim ( member #27176) posted at 4:26 AM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
@ Mr. Kite
Wow that's sad and good .... And likely true in many ways...(thanks to the new born realist in me)
If two people want a true love, a long suffering kind of love, where you really commit yourself 100%, is it not possible to make a reality of that love?
I guess it's not "soul mates" per se, but rather an intentional pairing of desire. A desire that has been tested through time, tempered through fire and created from both.. A creation of two?
I guess the traditional idea of Soul mates escapes me, and perhaps I think too big.
[This message edited by refuz2bavictim at 10:31 PM, September 7th (Tuesday)]
painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 4:39 AM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
Nope, no such thing as soul mates...but, as another poster on SI mentioned a while back - there is such a thing as 'hole mates'...and I think that's what most of these affairs are really all about!
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
dreamlife ( member #8142) posted at 5:02 AM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
"He called me a bitch.
I called him an ambulance."
Linda H.)
beadmaggie ( member #11925) posted at 5:28 AM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
I believe in soulmates, but not the sickly-sweet, romantic bullshit. I don;t think it has anything to do with romance - it's about meeting the soul that matches your own. For me the being that felt like my soulmate was my late beagle Heathcliff.
Me - BS, 55
Him - FWH, 55
Married 32 yrs, 2 children
D-day #1 - Dec. 14, 2000 (OW#1 - "friend with benefits")
D-day #2 - May 31, 2005 (OW#2 - EA/PA)
D-day #3 - Sept 19, 2005 (OW#2)
R'ed
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 7:34 AM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
My beagle and I were soul mates--we shared the same birthday, and she saved my sanity many times. 
My grandmother, cousin and I were/are soul mates. We are all zodiac fire signs (but 3 different signs) and had a seemingly telepathic connection.
stbxwh & I? I used to think so; not so much any more... 
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
mj-82 ( member #22541) posted at 10:55 AM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
FWH believed in "soulmates" when he got together with OW. They used to say it to each other all the time
It lasted as long as the A.
Sad thing is he never said it to me......until after the A 
I don't believe in it - but then my head is so messed up I don't know what I believe any more.
me - BW (34)
him - WH (37)
D-Day 1 - Jan 09 (3 month PA)
D-Day 2 - May 15 (3-4 month PA)
TT & lies until Aug 2015.
Left for OW March 2016 OW now preg
Together 19 years, married 7
2 DS 15 and 6 (autistic)
Divorcing
m334455 ( member #26893) posted at 12:19 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
I do not. I never have. Both of my husbands have said "you're the love of my life" to me. I always think it's ridiculous.
I do think some people are kindred spirits. But it's not the same thing -- these can be a friend, child, or partner.
BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009
m334455 ( member #26893) posted at 12:21 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
Ironically MOW told me about a month before Dday that she did in my opinion, she would need to have a soul first, but that's just me
That is
HYSTERICAL!
BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009
Jimi40 ( member #10909) posted at 12:28 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.
Lostsoul&<3 ( member #18154) posted at 12:35 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
Before the A for 9 blind years I believed WH was my soulmate. I didn't really believe in love at first sight per say but our first kiss I knew I was going to marry him. So I guess you could say love at first kiss. I was extremely attracted to him when I met him.
Now I don't believe in soulmates. Twist of it WH does and he swears now that I am his. Go figure.
Me~47~~BW
Him~47~~WH
DSs 26 and 21
D-day 4/27/04
A shell going through the motions of living a life.
painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 12:44 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
M334455,
Ironically MOW told me about a month before Dday that she did in my opinion, she would need to have a soul first, but that's just me
You hit the nail on the head!!!!
Awesome insight! If only they could See their own hypocrisy!
That made my day!
[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 6:45 AM, September 8th (Wednesday)]
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 12:52 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
Lostsoul,
Twist of it WH does and he swears now that I am his. Go figure.
I do though believe that after d-day, those that are 'truly' remorseful, can feel that kind of a connection...because they have learned what true kindness, forgiveness and love really are, and they are humbled. You could say they have finally learned the difference b/t a 'soul' and a 'hole'.
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 1:08 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
I don't believe in the Hollywood hyped up notion of soul-mates......the kind that you know at first sight and then live happily ever after. Puke.
But I do believe there are people put on this planet with us that we are meant to meet, because they have an importance in our life. A soul mate does not necessarily have to be someone that imparts positive things in our lives. They are someone we are meant to learn specific lessons with, which can be how to love, but also there are other things we have to learn.
So I think we have more than one, and they are put in our lives at specific times to help us on our journey in some way or another.
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
shyguy ( member #18281) posted at 2:07 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
No not now. I don't know if I ever did or ever will.
Love stinks yeah yeah(J. Geils)
damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 2:10 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
I thought I did.
But then my soulmate decided to fuck my best friend.
12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 2:21 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
i believe in love. i believe that we can have great love with more than one person in our lives. sometimes timing is everything.
kindred spirits...a concept i've always believed in
soul mates ... sure but again, i think the concept of there's only one possibility is a fallacy.
i'm deeply in love with my soulmate. a 4yr old buckskin filly. she gets me.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Defiance ( member #8265) posted at 2:24 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
There is very little that I believe in anymore.
Soulmates is one of those things I never believed in.
-D
Success is not measured by what you accomplish but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.
Lostsoul&<3 ( member #18154) posted at 2:34 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
Painpain,
That could be true but I honestly don't see a truly remorseful person with my WH. From the word go it has been a fight to get him to agree to anything to help our relationship. It took 6 yrs to get him to send a NC letter that I actually got to see. He said he sent a NC text and email on Dday but I never saw them. Still refuses MC/IC and the list goes on.
On my mean days I fire back that a soulmate wouldn't hurt their soulmate the way he has me.
Me~47~~BW
Him~47~~WH
DSs 26 and 21
D-day 4/27/04
A shell going through the motions of living a life.
SusanR ( member #29368) posted at 2:39 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
At one time, I thought my first serious boyfriend was my soulmate. Then I found out he was having sex with another woman in his car.
That kinda burst the bubble.
Then I realized how much I was putting in and how little I was getting back.
It's a myth.
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