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Yesterday I went to the store to try and find an Anniversary card for my WW. It was our first since DDay. I wasn't optimistic that I would find one that I would be comfortable giving. I didn't want the usual language of "My love for you grows with every passing year". Let's face it. If it did, none of us would be on this site. So I ended up finding one so grounded in reality it was scary.

Thanks Mr. or Mrs. Hallmark Card Writer (Can you hear the "Real Men Of Genius" music?)

Here it is:

A happy marriage is what happens while two good people

are busy trying to make it through another year of paying their bills, running errands, doing their chores keeping sight of their dreams and somehow always finding the time to show how much they care.

Our life is pretty busy and I may not always say everything that comes into my mind and heart each day, but what

really matters in my world is that we are together and however busy life may get, I don't forget that...ever.

Nice.

I absolutely hate card shopping for my H now. I get anxious and very sad--at the store. It's a huge demon of the A I haven't been successful in conquering. I usually just end up leaving with nothing.

I've resorted to using blank cards for him, or just "Thinking of you" cards for anniversaries, Valentine's Day, etc.

Luckily, he gets it and isn't offended.

Hmm, that's something I hadn't thought about yet. We had our ninth wedding anniversary a month after D day, and were not speaking at the time, so I didn't have to worry about it. Now his birthday is next month. I wonder what I will end up getting him for a card. Maybe one of the ones for dating couples that talks about sex or something, because the sex right now is pretty good.

OMGosh!!!! I remember the first post d-day Valentines day.....I stood for an hour in Walmart crying hysterically.

Where did you find it ???

I've been looking for one like that for years!

Our anniversary was a little over a week ago. It was very hard to find a card for him. I left the store upset the first time. Of course he did not give me a card. All I asked for was that he write me a love letter and of course he couldn’t do that. The man is about as deep as a kiddie pool but trying to fill his emotional cup is like trying to fill the ocean with a teaspoon!

Been there, done that too. And what makes it worse - H is an over-the-top mushy card getter so mine to him always have to be the same. But I didn't go that route the first couple of holidays. I went with understated and I think maybe even "troubled relationship" type cards. We're both back to full swing now with the mush but I still do read it and if it says anything along the lines of "I've always trusted you or you've always been my rock" or something like that, even into successful R for 15 mos, I still pass on those ones.

Anytime I get a card from WW, it just sucks. She started her affair 3 days before Father's Day, and when I started putting all the dates together, I came across her Father's Day card to me -- so full of loving words. If she could write that so shortly after being with another man, I can't believe a thing she says or writes.

It took about nine months for her to even try to give me another card, and even now, her cards have no meaning for me. In her most recent one she wrote:

"Any time morning, noon, or night, we can talk, laugh, cry, search, wonder, hold one another or sit in silence. I am here for you always." blah blah blah blah blah.

She should have then ended it with, "and all this will apply right up until I decide it doesn't!"

I was going to do a blank card that just said Happy Anniversary but then I found that card.

WhiteCarrera

She started her affair 3 days before Father's Day, and when I started putting all the dates together, I came across her Father's Day card to me -- so full of loving words. If she could write that so shortly after being with another man, I can't believe a thing she says or writes.

I know exactly how you feel. My WW began her affair 2 days before Father's Day 2009 and gave me a loving mushy card too.

My wedding anniversary is today. I haven't bought a card. It just makes me sad to try to find an appropriate one.

Workin It Out, that's a good one

I know exactly how you feel. My WW began her affair 2 days before Father's Day 2009 and gave me a loving mushy card too.

Ditto.

My H gave me a mushy card for our anniversary which fell during the A, I gave him one for his birthday. I tore up all the ones he gave me during that time frame. I couldn't bear to look at them knowing what he was doing as he wrote that stuff. I skipped our anniversary this year, his birthday I did acknowledge and do things to celebrate the day but no card.

However a while back I found a card in Target that was slightly mushy, but not overly so. It took me about two months to give it to him and it was on a non-occasion day. The sentiments were basically to promise, support, communicate and express love.

It worked for me. No over the top gooey stuff. When I decided to give it to him, it was after a night of him holding me and helping me through some major triggering.

The card brought him to tears. It touched him that I had bought it for him 'just because'.

Hallmark, well in this case it was Carlton, got it right. Good cards are hard to find, but a few are out there

I haven't bought dh any cards since dday. One of our girls will ask if I've gotten one for him yet, when I say I haven't, they always say they will get one.

It's nice for me, cuz it's the way they believe I feel for him, they don't have to know I don't and he never realizes I didn't buy it

I used to love the song by lonestar about a couple being together a long time and, "I'm so in love with you,it just keeps getting better."

Now I can't bear it. I've traveled far in this infidelity journey, got myself back again in so many ways, am actually happy but..

I don't see myself buying him a card declaring my love for him, ever.........

I'm happy for those of you who are able to do so.

I found out about the A because MOW gave FWH a Father's Day Card that I found months later with a message that was obvious they were having an A. He will never get a Father's Day card from me again. I wish that day didn't exist.

I used to love the song by lonestar about a couple being together a long time and, "I'm so in love with you,it just keeps getting better."

Now I can't bear it.

Me either. And I love that song. It was H and my wedding song....shortly after dday H printed out the lyrics and prettied it all up enough to be framed.

I framed it, and about a week later put it under the bed. There it lays.

About the cards tho, it is amazing how many are out there all gooey and what not, but with the infidelity rates so high, it is sad so many cannot find a card that is "right" post A.

..i found the best solution to the 'Anniversary Card' quandry..

..i don't celebrate it! ..

..after all that has happened, why would i even consider celebrating..

..mushy cards are for all those people who 'DON'T' have infidelity in their marriage..

..smy

I thought I would share another card Hallmark Makes for this situation:

This was a Valentine's Day card from last year.

I wish I could go back in time....back to those unspoiled moments in our relationship before hurt ever touched our hearts, before doubt ever entered our minds.

All My Love on Valentine's Day

The Hallmark Between You and Me collection 2010

This card really got it right.

I thought I would share another card Hallmark Makes for this situation:

This was a Valentine's Day card from last year.

I wish I could go back in time....back to those unspoiled moments in our relationship before hurt ever touched our hearts, before doubt ever entered our minds.

Because if I could go back and start from those moments once more, I would hold you longer, never miss a chance to tell you how much you mean to me...and I would never, ever hurt you.

But I know we can't go back to those days. I know I can't erase the mistakes. I can't take away the questions you must have or the hurt we both feel.

But I can assure you of one thing: I love you as I did then and as I always will.

All My Love on Valentine's Day

Wow.

I'm truly stunned. That says it all perfectly.

Yes, this is a big issue when it's time to give the FWW a card - for several years since her As. For general holidays, I usually resort to the "For anyone" card area. The "For Wife" section is full of "I love you" and "I'm so lucky to have you" cards, and I refuse to lie about that. It's almost impossible to find an anniversary card that doesn't gush like that, so I've been known to give her a blank one with a few nice things written on the inside.

It's a shame, really. I used to love buying her cards that were very sweet and full of testaments of my love and devotion. I really loved her very much and felt extremely fortunate to have her. But all of that is gone now - not as punishment, but simply because I don't feel that way about her anymore after finding out who she really is.

I miss being in love.

I guess it was my subconscious but I forgot his birthday this year

Valentine's is a double whammy for me though... my grandma died on Valentine's...