SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Sudra,

Did he do this or did my stress of the past few months do this.

Honey, I just don't know. Although they say these things can lay dormant for years and then pop back up, it just seems very suspicious that these things seem to flare up again after an A. I predict though, that NO doctor will be able to answer your question with any certainty. I would talk to the doc about it anyway, and see if they can offer any more info... The CDC website has a lot of info, that may be even more up to date and accurate than our doctors! I am so sorry you are having to worry about this! ((((Sudra))))

Jana,

he needs to go get them cut and biopsied, according to my OB's nurse)

Girlfriend, I would be driving him to the doc first thing in the morning! The SLIGHTEST little change on my FWH's privates freaks me out and his ass is in the doc's office the next day! And as far as your bumps,

My OB's office acts like low-risk HPV is just a complete non-issue.

Well, it may be a 'non-issue' to them, and even if it is not the type that causes cancer, so what!?!? Nobody wants bumps on their private parts! Have you googled the pics of untreated venereal warts? OMG! They are horrible and completely disfiguring in extreme cases! Yes, I would absolutely have it removed, but make SURE they test the tissue to see for sure what it is---if they just burn it off, without testing, you will always wonder what it was. JMHO.

Emotional hell,

They all say things like that! But whether or not he could actually 'perform', I can guarantee you with 99% certainty that they sure as hell tried, and that there was some serious penis to vagina contact in their 'effort' to get it up! My H also claimed to have 'trouble' with his erection, but he somehow amazingly, magically, contracted a nasty STD from the whore and then, in turn, sharing that special 'gift' with me. GET TESTED! Not to scare you, because most probably you are fine, but there are certain STD's that don't show up for sometime, (such as HIV) and others that can lay dormant for years. You said you made him get tested right? Well unless you went with him to the doc, or they called you with his results, are you 100% sure he was tested? I have 'made' my H be tested 3 times since he gave me an STD, and I either go with him, (yep, I go in the room with him) or I have the doc or nurse call me with his results. I'm sure they all think I'm a crazy bitch, but I could care less, they have not lived thru the hell that I have. Always, always, ALWAYS get tested! What can it hurt?

Oh, Jana, I forgot to add this. They do a white vinegar test on suspected on HPV warts. I think though you have some special kind at the drugstore if you want to try it at home. Paint it on the bump, and if the bump turns white, then you could have a HPV wart. From what I have read, this is not always accurate, so keep that in mind.

Google it and find out more about it.

Let us know how it goes.

Emotional hell,

Remember that use of condoms may prevent the virus from coming in contact with susceptible skin areas. However, since HPV can infect the scrotum and vulva, transmission can occur outside condom-covered areas

courtesy of New York Dept. Of Health.

Just pulling this forward for you. Even without actual penetration, and even with the use of condoms, some STD's can still be transmitted. Get tested.

I'm so sorry you all find yourselves having to post to this thread. It makes me so sad for all of us. Thank you to PainPain for providing a great support thread for those of us dealing with the health ramifications of our WS behaviors.

When this thread first started I participated because I had managed to contract my first incidence of BV (bacterial vaginosis) during WH's most recent A. Depsite the fact that BV is not ALWAYS an STD, it was just too coincidental for me that I NEVER had that problem prior to WH's A.

One confusion I had, though, was that WH told me early on that he and MOW#4 used condoms 2 of the (then admitted) 3 times (it was actually 4 times they had sex). The one time he claimed they didn't use condoms was the first time they were together when they got trashed at a work event and had a ONS that turned into a 6 month EA/PA.

Well, it turns out that WH lied (shocking, I know). They NEVER used condoms. As a matter of fact, he's had sex with 4 OW and only 1 time used a condom (who knows if that's even true). So now I believe that in fact my BV was an STD. The timing of it lines up with when WH was with his skany whore, who has addmitted to having other A's "before" him. Ironically, he thought that when they had their "are you clean, I might be pregnant talk" (he had a vasectomy to OW's relief ) he took the whore at her word that she was clean.

So now my annual exam is coming up in another week. I am faced with the embarrassing task of telling my gyn that I want another STD's test and the fearful waiting game of wondering whether or not his A's have given me minor or major health problems. And the worst part is that every year I will be wondering the same damn thing since some of the diseases don't show up right away always.

If you are lurking and not posting to this thread, please, please be sure you get yourself tested for STDs and make sure your WS does, too.

PWM,

They NEVER used condoms.

Unfortunately, I think this is norm among cheaters. I am so sorry.

Please don't be embarrassed when you go to the doc. I just say, "My H is a cheater, and I need to be tested". Or, "my H has cheated in the past, and I need to be tested". I say that to the doc, to the nurse, and to the girl drawing my blood. I have never had any of them treat me with anything but the utmost of understanding. I refuse to feel any shame. Although, I will admit the first time was embarrassing, no, horrifying is the better word, since I had NO idea he was cheating, until they discovered the cause of my problems was an STD. So essentially, my doc was the one to tell me H was cheating. He was very kind and asked ever so gently, 'are you in a faithful relationship?'

One of main points I want to get across with this thread, is that although condom usage is imperative, it is still not 100% effective in stopping the transmission of all STD's. Just because someone's partner has used a condom, with infidelity, both WS and BS need to be tested without exception.