SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Praying for you, keep strong!

Even if you have a positive result don't tell her how you now. She may gaslight you trying to explain it.

Just tell her you know. She's the one who has to tell you.

I've thought quite a bit about this recently. Assuming a positive lab test, you can bet that I'm not going to spill all my cards on the table at once. In fact, I will probably start with the most innocuous bit of suspicious evidence, and see how big the lies grow.

Today, she's deleted the sent mail to OM from yesterday, and presumably the response from OM as well (since there is none to see). She's being very careful.

I won't be confronting her tomorrow, no matter the result. That's another set of ducks I have to get in a row ahead of time, thanks to the great advice I've gotten here.

But I'll post the result tomorrow as soon as I have it.

I really don't know what result I want to hear. A negative could be a good thing, that maybe there isn't a PA going on. On the other hand, it doesn't prove anything. A positive is going to make me blow a gasket, no question. But at least then I have an answer so I can do something about it. What a ridiculous, complicated situation. I sure as hell wouldn't wish this mess on anyone.

What a ridiculous, complicated situation. I sure as hell wouldn't wish this mess on anyone.

Word.

Will send you some prayers tomorrow.

What a ridiculous, complicated situation. I sure as hell wouldn't wish this mess on anyone.

I hear that.

But I will say, you are one smooth guy under pressure. Reminds me of an airline pilot I once saw interviewed after landing a commercial plane in the Hudson when posed with, "There's still a big if," regarding a safe landing.

"I was sure I could do it."

You should become a pilot :)

We're here for you.

I'd want to toss her dirty panties along with the report right on the kitchen table at breakfast time...

Grrrrr!!

We're with you Onion...hang tuff...at least you will be off the fence today, and not wonder..

CO: Thinking of you this morning. Good vibes being sent your way.

With you this morning with prayers partner.

Today, she's deleted the sent mail to OM from yesterday

There is another bad sign. Hang in there CO, be prepared for gas lighting. It might help to briefly write down all of these types of questionable behaviors, so that you can see the bigger picture. I hope she isnt able to talk her way out of this. It messes with your head.

You are so strong! Keep up the cool head.

((((CO))))

[This message edited by newnormal at 7:44 AM, April 21st (Thursday)]

Hope you don't get kicked in the gut today CO. There may be more in those panties than you know! Hope not. Good luck

If you can, leave the undies at the lab, just bring home the report. That way she cannot dispose of them if she finds them. You want them around "in case" you want to do dna testing on them down the road.

You're right, sadly there is no "good result" today. Just a YES or MAYBE.

[This message edited by JanetS at 7:52 AM, April 21st (Thursday)]

Remember, you are not the fool to let this happen, she's the fool. Hang tough, we are there for you.

We all stand beside you today. Really you have our prayers and are holding you up.

CO-

I have also been following your thread. What a whirlwind this whole experience has been for you. I have been up since 7am waiting for your results. Whatever they may be, I hope that you are soon able to find a measure of peace...

Here waiting with bated breath...

{{{{hugs}}}}}

Hugs and prayers CO.

Hugs and prayers...I'm suspecting it should be any moment now with results..

We are all here for you....

You know by her emails what is going on. I just hope the the lab gives you the concrete evidence that she cannot refute.

I feel so sad for you, because when you confront her, however slowly you expose your hand, it is really only just the beginning of an even worse time for you.

Be prepared for her to lie, to be indignant you tested her panties, for her to blame you for not trusting her, and for her to go nuts.

Remember to have your DD out of the house when you confront, and for several hours after.

You know by her emails what is going on. I just hope the the lab gives you the concrete evidence that she cannot refute.

^^^^ That right there. A positive cuts to the chase.

CO

This really sucks and so sorry you are here.

You have opened a huge door for her to come clean. I can sure relate to the waiting. Hours, days, and weeks, seem so much longer. My WH wants to turn back his clock. I want to fastforward to more good stuff and less wailing, sorrow, and occasional fits of pure anger. (7.5 weeks since DDay)

Yeah, not sure you need any more "proof." My WH IM'd his two favorites so that effectively wiped the chalkboard clean every time they signed off. Paid for rooms and flights with cash, etc. Typing that @#$%^& makes me ill.

Be careful with yourself. Shakey is the term I have been using for me. The entire ground that I knew has been removed. Knees hit with a baseball bat (WH favorite sport) followed by a Tsunami. Other than that, I am feeling fine. hahaha.

Truthfully, WH has been remorseful. Seeing IC and we both MC. He wrote a letter to a chaplain that wrote this article: http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2011/1103.dueholm.html#Byline

Maybe it will be of interest down the road.

Also try "Surviving an Affair"

http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Affair-Willard-Jr-Harley/dp/0800717589

Just finished it and have been sharing bits with WH. He has it on his nightstand now.

Big hugs to you during this ...

the @#$%^& period of the marriage. After 7 weeks I am hopeful today.

okay, I'm bad but I keep checking back here every hour! CO, I want you to know that everyone is here for ya!

Me too, I am really getting worried about you Chopping.......