Alright, my turn.
I haven’t posted on this site for years - it was never quite the right fit for someone in my situation (newly married, no kids). The advice was almost overwhelmingly to divorce, which would have been a respectable and easier path. I logically understood the advice then, and even more so now. But I stayed (?naive, ?insecure, ?ignorantly optimistic).
For whatever reason, here I am. 6+ years out, still married, now with two kids… you can make R work if that’s the goal you both have. Individual counselling (mainly for him), some couples counselling, a lot of hard conversations and hard moments.. we have survived it. The affair simply doesn’t factor in to our day to day. it changed us as people, of course, but the pain is gone and the life we have chosen to build is far more important.
I’m grateful to this site for leading me to a group of incredible people who have helped me for years, and still do. And although I am no longer a regular, I thought I would post this brief little update so someone in my shoes might find hope here if they need it. I know I desperately searched for success stories back in the day. So, you can work through it, or you can call it quits - I am certain you will survive it all no matter what <3
