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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:13 PM on Thursday, August 18th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
hisloss ( member #53973) posted at 1:13 PM on Thursday, August 18th, 2016
Thank you for this post. It is all so true. I think I handled my storm well, but, if I could go back after having some time to settle down I would have handled a few things differently, in a better way than I did.
I will also read this over many times. 
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 11:59 AM on Monday, August 22nd, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:36 PM on Thursday, September 8th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
hard_yards ( member #23549) posted at 12:34 PM on Sunday, September 11th, 2016
I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...
LearningToRun ( member #31353) posted at 10:14 AM on Friday, September 16th, 2016
Me: BS 49
Him: WH 54
OW - HS GF, reconnect on FB - They are now M
M- 23 years
DD Sept 2010 - he was lying about meeting and deleting all his texts
D-12/13/2010 - 60 days after i called uncle
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:13 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
LoveTKO ( member #54298) posted at 4:01 PM on Friday, October 14th, 2016
Thank you for this post. I wish I had found SI when I had my Dday. It took me awhile. Here's my two cents:
I threw my FWH out on Dday. Best thing I ever did. I also informed the OBS on Dday.
Things I regret:
1) staying in contact with him after Dday. I wish I had let him stew and let him do all of the work to R.
2) Agreeing to MC before NC (although I did say it was a condition). Also, not making him write an NC email to MOW and letting me read it/edit before sending. NC took about 3 weeks (too long). I should've I had let him have the OW and let the chips fall where they may. Now I'll never know if he would've fought for us - although he is working hard now.
3) Not making him work harder to move home. We separated for 4 months - one of those months he was still in A.
4) Not making him tell me the timeline and details before he moved home. I still go through some TT.
5) Not insisting on IC.
6) Not checking his cell phone and emails before asking about the A. I did get hold of most of the emails (I'm smarter than he is technically ). But not all. I got most of the text messages through Dr. Fone but again, not all. I think that information would've given me a lot of insight about the A.
At this point, I don't regret trying to R. He knows he is on probation and I don't consider myself "married" right now. I don't wear rings. As far as I'm concerned, we're living together on a trial basis and deciding on next steps. He knows I am committed to trying to make this work. We are both in IC and are working hard.
My advice for the newly betrayed is STAY STRONG and take your time making important decisions. I was too impulsive..
Me: BW
Him: FWH
LTA one year with local MOW
Dday: 12/4/15
Done - separated
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:23 AM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:19 PM on Friday, November 4th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
Chicky ( member #18622) posted at 12:18 AM on Monday, November 7th, 2016
Givers need to set limits because takers never do. THIS GIVER DID and because I stood my ground, we are happily RECONCILED!
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:57 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 11:50 AM on Thursday, December 29th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 9:07 AM on Monday, January 2nd, 2017
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:02 PM on Monday, January 16th, 2017
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 10:11 PM on Sunday, January 29th, 2017
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 7:29 AM on Friday, February 10th, 2017
bump. And this thread needs a target icon!
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 3:35 AM on Thursday, March 2nd, 2017
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 9:03 PM on Wednesday, April 5th, 2017
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:36 PM on Sunday, April 23rd, 2017
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
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