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Thanks Buffalo! I've always been the "nice" guy. That has worked well for me in most situations, most people don't take advantage of it, but obviously this situation is different.

Well, enter the 180. It has truly allowed me to realize that is not the life I want to lead, I can live my life how I want, not just to please others. I have not been this optimistic in a long time. I am going to set the boundaries with the WW as soon as I feel I've come far enough in the 180 to be detached enough to follow through with the consequences if she rebuffs. As buffalo said, I am beginning to accept D as the most likely outcome, and certainly preferable to sharing my wife. I know I have to do this sooner than later, but I feel like I'll know when the time is right.

[This message edited by traildad at 1:07 PM, April 11th (Wednesday)]

I am beginning to accept D as the most likely outcome

That is the only rational outcome at this point I'm afraid. How could you possibly go forward with this woman after her actions/behaviour?

I've read through the thread, and I'm sorry for what you've endured so far but she has no respect for you whatsoever.

Be done with her; you're life will be better off moving on with someone with at least a modicum of decency and compassion. She has neither.

((((traildad)))) what a horrible, heart breaking situation you find yourself in. Other SIers have given great advice so just wanted to offer you hugs ((()))

I may have missed some information in here. But you mentioned being the one in charge of finances.

Have you taken her off of the family plan phone account yet?

I would. Tell her that you're not going to pay for her to call her lover 200 times a week. That she can put the bill in her own name.

Also, if they're young, get your kids passports, then put the passports in safe deposit boxes so she can't do it and take the kids out of the country, if he lives in another country.

Im so sorry you are here. Im sorry that the woman you loved has turned into this monster. You cannot R with her until she is genuinely remorseful and she doesn't sound like she is anywhere near that.

If I were you I'd expose her to her mother and his mother to start with. It sounds like she thinks that exposing her is the last thing you'd do and that is why she is being so bold and in your face about it all.

Have you considered putting a VAR (voice activated recorder) in her car (maybe she's talking to him about the A there)? If you are really adamant about getting hard evidence that could be a good way to go. Others have done it successfully.

You have a PM