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mamajen00 ( member #43810) posted at 11:44 PM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014
This was really insightful. I let my guard down one day while engaged in the 180 and WH slowly creeped back in. I realized that I felt so much better during the times of 180 and no contact. And then after he tried to creep back in (meaning wanting to talk, hang out at the house, etc) is when my anxiety flared up again. The man I married is no longer on this planet. The person that stands in the driveway, waiting to pick up our son is a stranger to me. The man who would once jump in front of a moving train to protect me, now has NO regard for my feelings or well-being. By recognizing this, it has helped me to slowly detach emotionally. This man is not the man I once knew. That man is gone. So, why stay attached to someone you don't know?
BS- me 37
WH- him 38
1 son - almost 5
Married 8 years
Together 13 years
DDay 4/19/14
9 months of intense EA
2 days of PA
redsox13 ( member #43391) posted at 12:30 AM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
The hardest thing in the world is to detach from the one you love. It is contrary to every feeling we have.
And yet it is something we all must do at some point in our journey.
Betrayal isn't the hardest part. It is knowing that our capacity of love is in some way the enemy.
BS - 45
fWW - 43
Simply getting better.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 11:45 PM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
BS- Me (45)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R.Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
Hurtingnnc ( member #44284) posted at 12:48 PM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2014
Thanks. I needed to read this.
Me: BGF 45
Him: WBF 48
I have moved on.
hurt23 ( new member #44552) posted at 9:38 AM on Monday, August 18th, 2014
This is a good read thank you.
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