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Really,size doesn't matter..unless you're really small. Then I can see it being a problem. But there is nothing wrong with having an average sized penis.

If a man sent me a penis pic "very early on" as you said,kchip,I would have never had anymore contact with him. That just skeeves me out!

My WH was sending pics of his dick to OM on craigslist,and got quite a few in return(or they sent them first,I dont know). I was shocked by it all. HOW is THAT a turn on??

Im humilated that he would do that. W T F??

Kchip,as a side note,I noticed you called the affair between OM and your WW a "relationship." Dont do that. Dont validate it like that. It was an affair. It was immoral,disgusting,and wrong. It doesnt deserve to be referred to as a "relationship."

Skill..not size.

[This message edited by confused615 at 7:58 PM, August 7th (Tuesday)]

Just wanted to add that my XSO was larger than my H but sex with him was... meh. Why? Because my XSO didn't bother or didn't think it was important to find out what turned *me* on. It was almost a literal "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am" sitch with my XSO.

With my H on the other hand, he took the time to find out what I like and what I don't. (Probably some TMI but here goes) My H is into the foreplay and into the cuddling afterwards... because he knows I like that stuff. He's as much (if not more) interested in pleasing me as he is himself.

And as for size, the vast majority of men are in the average range. The ones endowed like John Holmes are really few and far between.

A big penis isnt going to be the "thing" that pushed me off the slippery slope into AffairLand.

Women don't cheat because their AP's have a bigger package than their BH anymore than men cheat on their BW because their boobs are too small.

It isn't size - it's technique and emotional involvement that means the most.

Gross on sending pics of his junk - that's just nasty.

Proof in the pudding - if it was about size then the OW in my sitch would never have been with my X.

I know you didn't ask for a guy's opinion, but....

My fWW told me size mattered. She says that’s different now, but its still a scar that will never fade and in the back of my mind, I will never believe that it is really different now, maybe it just lost its novelty or maybe the hysterectomy, or just bullshit, etc...

So, the whole size thing made me completely crazy and I did a lot of research. To start, you'll find that the motivations for A's are seemingly as varied as the wind, so you will need to learn what motivated your wife if that is important to you. The next thing I would say is that the average erect man is between 5.25 and 6.75 inches. Sounds incredibly varied, I know. But there was also a study that asked women what was their acceptable, pleasurable, and preferred length. The acceptable length was everything from 5.0 to whatever he could pack (which to me implies that women must be interested in something other than just penis size). The pleasurable length was 6 to 9 inches with a preferred length of 7 to 8 inches. There were other studies that suggested that a larger willy was more fun to see than to use. I suspect its akin to the size of breast. They have no function in sex, yet if most breathing men see a set of size 44DDD on a skinny girl, he's liable to have a momentary loss of zip code even if his preference is really small breasts.

What does all that mean? Not much if your wife’s motivation wasn't exclusively sexual and she tells you she only did it because she wasn't satisfied in bed. I am married to a SA that had multiple A's with a preference for a man/horse cross but doesn't want a D and tells me she only wants me now. I am slowing understanding that she is only one of the opinions of millions of women. Maybe I married an anomaly or maybe all women lie about size. The latter sounds far fetched today, but not so long ago that's how cynical I was about it.

A little exercise that helped me was to list all the things that would make a perfect woman/wife. Now, if you had to start crossing some things off the list, would it be the physical attributes, or the character/personality attributes? Suddenly the perfect woman is just as beautiful with my eyes closed. Now, is that the same for both innies and outies?

I know its easier said than done, but at the end of the day, you better learn to love yourself. I am still trying and I don't know if I'll ever make it. But, I hope you get there soon.

It's not how deep the plough goes, its how long it stays in the field!!!

I'm more concerned with whether a man IS a big dick than if he has one.

All kidding a side, we male and female BS's go through this comparison hell, it can certainly eat at your heart and soul.

This...so this!!! Affairs aren't about size...

Having had a tipped uterus any size penis was downright painful!!!

Now I'm not sure if it's because of his A that I just can't stand the sight of it. Like others have said a picture of that sent to me is not a turn on. What does make me giggle at wh is how it can go from being so big to almost disappearing and looking like a pimple. Ok so that's mean but I am fascinated how the anatomy works especially love to watch the skin on the scrotum move all on its own, contracting to pull the testicles up then relaxing. That's the part I find interesting.

Isn’t this a hen or the egg issue?

OK – let’s assume size matters and that’s why all our WW’s and WGF’s cheat.

At what point in a relationship does the “big guy” come into play? When does the WW get to see her “prize”? Does she have a feel to determine whether to allow the relationship to develop to the next stage? Or do potential OM all wear bicycle pants? Could it be that IF size is the issue and IF the WW choose to cheat with men with bigger penises (no pun on my user name intended) that WHEN and IF the penis comes to light it’s too late? That at that point – before she opens the package to see what’s inside – there is already full intent to do the deed. Irrespective of the contents.

Personally – back in my dating days – no woman saw my penis unless there was a clear and determined intent to use it. I never had to offer a date a drink and a meal and then show her notarized measurements of my member.

I’m guessing that any woman that uses the size issue is either trying to justify her actions or lashing out to hurt.

women usually have clitoral orgasms anyway, so if you know what your doing, sex can be just as good NOT including a penis at all. That being said, like others i have had a bf in my past that was well close to 9 inches and he KILLED me..we dated a whopping 3 or 4 months. My husband is the best lover I have ever had, because he takes his time with me and always makes sure i'm satisfied before it is over. He refuses to even contemplate the wham bam thank you ma'am thing. He just won't do it (he did with her btw, but she was paid to wham bam him). He is also an oral creature if you know what i mean , he is about 5 inches hard and average width. There have even been times when he hurts me!

A woman will conform to her partners size. In other words the man she is with will be just right in most cases (if that case is "normal") So if your 4 inches, she has conformed to your size, and not stretched out.

It's all about how you use it that matters and ofcourse the foreplay!

confused, he just sounds GROSS to me!

No pics, thank you very much! That's not intimate or loving behavior.

I am one of those women who can end up getting her cervix bonked. Ouch. STBX is average, and that was fine with me.

I'm someone who craves emotional intimacy way more than crotch shots. I can't imagine wanting some dude just because of his large size.

I don't care how hung a guy is, texting me a picture of it isn't going to make me cheat.

I want a lot more from a man than his penis.

As for the size issue, unless you keep a magnifying glass in your underweat to help locate it, I'm sure you are fine.

oh and btw, i had a "friend" (not really more a coworker) who was being cheated on and filed for divorce. She went sexually insane and placed ads on places like match.com etc...well...most ALL IF NOT ALL of the guys who talked to her sent pics of there package! I would have deleted them there and then, but nope she hooked up with more than a few, most wanted something from her besides sex (some bilked her out of money)...she ended up getting fired because evidently our wifi on our phones link to our work wifi and somehow they busted her for downloading porn at work...since we work in pediatrics, she got fired. Big brother is watching everyone very very closely these days that it is insane.

And no offence guys but most women dont find the penis particularly pretty anyway! we like it an all, dont get me wrong, its just ummmm....well...never mind

Size is irrelevant to me, although I can imagine too big being uncomfortable.

Add me to the list of women who would be turned totally off by receiving a picture of some guy's junk. The whole notion of sexting and exchanging dirty pictures is kind of ruined knowing MOW and fWH did that, but even without that, I can't imagine myself thinking, "wow, I need to get some of that!"

****TMI TMI *******

Size is not important. Honestly the porn industry and magazine have slapped most men across the face and made them feel if they aren't 11" long and as big around as a coke can then they are useless.

I dated a man many years ago who was huge. I couldn't wrap my hand around it kind of big. He was HORRIBLE in bed. Probably THE worst lover I ever had. And you know why? Because he believed that his big dick is all he needed to please a woman. He couldn't be MORE wrong.

For *ME the whole size thing is crazy. I'd rather be with someone who knows how to touch, kiss and talk to me during love making than someone with a big penis. Oh and big HURTS. Unless you are into pain that isn't fun. soooooo with that said...please know that the pictures you saw are of someone that is hurtful to you.

I think it is normal to compare but honestly....I think being an honest, loving and faithful man far outweighs a large penis.

Just my 0.02.

dreams

Ok first you get serious brownie points for getting your wife off before intercourse.

Second, WH is well-endowed. I enjoy his size. That said, I have only slept with 2 other guys. One was tiny and an alcoholic with chronic whiskey dick so he sucked. But that was more about the whiskey. The other was average size - we were both virgins so neither of us knew what we were doing, but I think given time things would have been great.

I agree that an average sized faithful penis is much sexier than. 9-inch cheating one.

Maybe if the guy sent me a picture of a gourmet meal he had just prepared, I might be tempted...

KIDDING!

Put me in the 'doesn't matter' column.

Bigger, I realy think you need to stay off threads like this, ot change your name.

Just sayin'

editing because I don't feel my answer positively contributed to the discussion. Sorry

[This message edited by thenon-goddess at 7:53 AM, August 8th (Wednesday)]

For me... if you have my heart and my mind... my body follows. I think about couples who deal with severe sexual dysfunction and how they manage to stay connected physically through other means. Penis size is just something men worry about unnecessarily. (Unless their dating a whore *which is what most OW's are** and it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway... which is no reflection on the man... she's just all used up)

But seriously, penis size is a non issue at least for me it's more about connecting with me emotionally and mentally.