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Not sure I believe all the ladies saying size doesn't matter!

What would possibly motivate someone to lie about something like that?

I guess I could have prefaced my comment with "in my experience" but otherwise, no, to me size has not influenced my enjoyment.

As a guy whose WW was engaged before to a man I referred to jokingly as horse penis (13" x 3"), WW did not like me mentioning it nor did she like it because it hurt and took forever to get just a part of it in. A poster mentioned a V will conform to your size, which is true and it was a big red flag that I missed early on in her As (about 1 year ago).

From my experience with women and what IMO is clear from the posts, size DOES matter. However, Vs vary dramatically in overall sensitivity, location of erogenous areas, flexibility and pain tolerance. So, each woman is different and prefers a different range of sizes, especially if she has conformed to a particular size. You mentioned you used your hands (TMI coming up) and, assuming you have with other women, you likely noticed how unique each women's V was and how there was no uniform way to get all women off. I am ~7" x ~2" and loved to get WW off for over 6 years, but our sex life slowed to a trickle once she became emotionally unattached (and especially when she began multiple PAs). So, even though size matters, it is not the end-all, be-all even if your size is perfect for her. The emotional aspect and ability to please each other the way each individual likes are just as, if not more important.

From your limited info it seems like, IMO, she was simply looking for a change in her sex life and she chose to cross the line the easiest way possible; smaller/larger or wider/thinner. It is not necessarily the size of your package that mattered, rather it was the change from the norm that she was looking for. Sounds like you have nothing to worry about in your future though brother, regardless of size :)

[This message edited by TaxLawGeek at 12:57 AM, August 8th (Wednesday)]

Just wanted to give kudos to kchip for asking the question. As a BSO/BH myself I have had to wonder if size ever played role, not in who she chose but in being dissatisfied with me to begin with. Like kchip I did everything I could to ensure WW reached her O before me (and she did too )

I have mixed feelings on this subject. Since I am the size I am there is nothing I can do about it. Hearing that size doesn't matter should be reassuring, right? However, if size doesn't matter and she strayed and sought an emotional connection then that means she found my personality deficient in some way.

It's almost a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't

Okay, then, size does matter.

I spent a lot of time in sitz baths and being treated for bladder infections with ex. While most folks were cuddling, I'd be sitting in the hottest water I could find post coitus. My SO post divorce was smaller: more orgasms, more sessions, much more fun because we had a deeper emotional connection as well.

Ironically, ex was the one who was chronically dissatisfied with his size because he thought he should be bigger. Go figure.

[This message edited by veritas at 1:19 AM, August 8th (Wednesday)]

Size matters for me. Too big or too small in not good for me. I prefer men who are proportional. My SO is short in stature, before we slept together I assumed his soldier was smaller as well. It was my pleasant surprise that he is the perfect size. We measured. He is smack in the middle average size.

When I was dating I was always most curious of the man's size.

Personally I never cared about size. I had some dude I never met, talked to, or knew in any way start random sexting me w/ his gigantic dick pictures. I laughed, showed my friends and we all laughed. Seriously, I don't see how that could be anyone's "deciding factor".

WH is bigger than average and if that thing fell off right now I wouldn't care. WOULD.NOT.CARE!!

However, if size doesn't matter and she strayed and sought an emotional connection then that means she found my personality deficient in some way.

Nope, it means there is something deficinet in her.

neverendinghurt is spot on. It's what was lacking in HER, not you or your size or your personality or your anything. I know it's easier said than done to not compare though.

For me it's not the size that matters....it's that he wants me!!!!! That is the turn on....

My WS is the most fantastic lover, so giving so attentive, so into doing anything to please me.... that I have often said that I would not care if he could never use his penis again for whatever reason......( I would for him of course)... But it's when I have looked into his eyes and known he was/is really into me that I realize that lovemaking is just that....a shared connection, a deep love. I may not be miss perfect myself, but when he looks at me, I don't feel that.

Size smize

A picture is not a turn on, imo. It's tacky. I'd probably write off any guy who I wasn't already dating, and sent an usolicited one.

[This message edited by thenon-goddess at 7:56 AM, August 8th (Wednesday)]

I know my WH has issues about his size - he seems to think that all women want is a huge one - that there is something to be ashamed of if you have an average one...

A caring faithful lover is more important than size.

I think that porn plays a huge part in brainwashing some men into thinking that unless they are extremely well endowed they are not what women will want and that having this huge penis makes them them the ultimate lover....

Just my 2c worth!

It is not the size of the ship, or the motion of the ocean that counts. It is if all the passangers get off that counts!!!!!

It's not the size of the wave, it's the motion in the ocean.

I don't like huge at all. It's painful and I even had to go to the ER once because the guy was hurting me so much. Average size works perfectly for me. There is probably a point where it can be too small, but I suppose there are ways around that.

[This message edited by frigidfire86 at 8:57 AM, August 8th (Wednesday)]

If I saw a photo of a huge one that would be a complete turnoff for me, first I would think that he was very insecure, is that all he has to offer, second, I dated someone long ago that was huge, what a fiasco, there is such a thing as too big, at least for me. Maybe they think you will get off just by looking at it and imagining. Huge means sometimes they think they Gods gift to women.

Oh, gosh. I'm going to disagree with most of the ladies here. I've only been with the two men I married, but both are larger than average -- so I guess my disagreement should have the caveat that I don't have experience otherwise. However, my XH was actually porn-star sized (10 inches) and I do miss that sometimes.

So, there you go. I wouldn't assume just because my answer is different from the majority that the rest of the ladies are being dishonest. However, just like all things in life, preferences do differ.

Size matters for me.

Now that said it is because of this....

My wh is very large, and I have been with him 18 years, I have comformed to him, yes, there are lots of times it hurts, he hits the cervix, and the width sometimes pulls. But, once in it is on, now, what I am afraid of is will my V go back to a smaller shape sense I will not be having sex with him. I don't want a new man if ever to be like wow she is huge! Kegal Master it is. But for real that is a worry I have with someone new.

Also, there was foreplay lacking and I love that stuff, getting me off was no on his top list. We never cuddled either, and I would have loved that. Give me a man who is about me for once and I will be happy happy happy!!!!! And no more feeling sore!

Ironically, ex was the one who was chronically dissatisfied with his size because he thought he should be bigger. Go figure.

fWH wishes he was bigger, too. I am completely, 100% satisfied, have no problem reaching orgasm (multiple times) and have told hm I'm glad he is "average" because even at his size he sometimes hits my cervix and I think an bigger would be uncomfortable.

Yet he still longs for bigger. I guess it's not for my sake.

Size is not a big turn on for me. I am mainly mental, needs lots of forplay and as long as I get mine all is good.

In fact, we have made a new rule since DD. If I don't come, neither does he. Before the affair, he got sex often (not often enough for him) but I was not satisfied. I brought it to his attention that he wouldn't want sex all the time if it ended with him having blue balls. I am happy to say that I got my point across and now sex is AMAZING!!!!

Yet he still longs for bigger. I guess it's not for my sake.

I think part of it in ex's case is that he 1) had porn expectations and 2) was a "grow"-er, so he rarely got to see himself fully extended except when he was doing himself. SO was a "show"-er; he was a nice size start to finish.

[This message edited by veritas at 10:51 AM, August 8th (Wednesday)]