SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not been posting much, but reading now and then (SI diet). We are doing well. I don't act out on bad memories as I used to. I am positive I want to rebuild M, he's been remorseful since A and very patient.My latest mindset tells me that I will not let A define me and my future. So far, (two weeks) it worked. I want to sell wedding rings which we both stopped wearing since July 2011 when I found out--I actually stopped earlier, now I know why. Did anyone regret getting rid of rings?

I stopped wearing mine and he couldn't stand it. Since then, we've renewed our vows and both gotten new ones. He didn't want to take his off, but I couldn't stand it.

He kept them so he can look at them.

Very effective, as we designed them and they were once very special.

I don't wear my wedding rings anymore. They are sitting in my jewelry box. They just don't have the same meaning anymore. Those rings were given to me with promises and those promises were broken. He still wears his but I refuse to wear mine. Someday we may be able to renew our vows and start over but that is not today.

We've kept ours, and still wear them.

I have never broken my commitment to my wife or anything and by wearing my ring I feel I am holding onto those values. It is a sign of my loyalty and devotion to her. My ring is not tarnished nor affected by her infidelity. I did stop wearing it on my hand for the past 5 or so months because of weight loss (thanks infidelity diet) and it generally being too big anyways. I wore it on my necklace instead. Have to admit though, even though it was mostly weight loss related, a decent enough part of the reason for not wearing it on my hand is because I wasn't certain.

As for her's, well, I don't think much of it really. I can see and understand the belief that she destroyed what it stood for by doing what she did, but personally I like seeing it there where it should be. Outside of hand washing and showering she's only taken it off once, the time she had sex with her AP. Her wearing it is a sign to me she's committed. If she wasn't wearing it I would question that. As for any diminishment of what it means, I'd prefer she return it to its previous glory through her actions so to speak than replace it. But that's just me.

We actually got them resized yesterday. It's nice wearing mine again. I wouldn't want to get rid of mine. I like the design (our's are matching) and as I said I view my ring as my commitment, not her's, and I haven't given that up.

I took mine off last year and it devastated me...I just can't put it on...I miss it terribly but H broke his vows to me while wearing his wedding ring. I want so bad to put it on but it lost its meaning to me....that hurts me deeply....my H still wears his and won't take it off. I hope one day I can ask him to put it back on my hand but I've had too many ddays since 2007. God bless all here.

I am having lots of confusing thoughts about my wedding ring and my WH's ring. I took mine off around D-Day. He's still wearing his. He had it on when he cheated - his hands and the ring I put on his finger when I said my vows to him were all over her body. That makes me sick. Literally. My vows are in tact, his are shattered. But since his are, the marriage is broken. Complicated, I know, but I feel like my vows, signified by the ring he wears are in tact, but the ring is tainted. His vows said to me when he put my ring on, are broken, so my ring is invalid and I can't wear it.

I hate that he wore his ring when he cheated- yeah, I know where it's been.

Like you, pendant, I don't know what to do.

I never stopped wearing my rings, even when I thought we were headed for divorce. I took them off once, but cried and put them back on. During the A, he kept taking his off. He was required to have no rings on doing certain things at work for safety reasons, but kept it off all the time. OW thought he was working on a D, so he had to keep it off.

Now when he doesn't wear his ring, it triggers me. A couple of weeks ago he lost his ring down a drain (it

s unrecoverable). He went right out the same day and bought another one. It's his 4th ring. The first one, I wear since it doesn't fit him anymore. The second was broken at work (he shouldn't have had it on) and the third- down the drain. I hope it isn't an R omen!

WH hadn't worn his ring for the past five years, he said it was too tight and didn't like the style. One of the first things we in R was to purchase a new ring for him. He always wears it now. My ring on the the other hand is beautiful, but I really hate what it represents. We can't afford a new one to replace it right now, it's a future plan. It's a catch 22, I would feel better not to wear it , but I don't think it's supportive of R effort if I don't.

Before my wifes affair she had stopped wearing her ring. She used her work environment as an excuse and I didn't make an issue of it. After D-Day I had a panic attack one day because I couldn't find it. It wasn't in a jewelry box or any of he places I could think of I realy believed she sold it.

Turns out it had been in the ring cleaning dish the whole time. She started to wear it later, before ending her affair.

D-day was just before Christmas 09 and at one point I mentioned all i wanted for a gift was a ring. A few weeks later as she was out shopping she asked what I wanted and I told her I had already mentioned it. She couldn't remember so she bought me a book.

I purchased a ring for myself and wore it for a year in hopes of reconciling with her. Now it sits on my key ring.

SO SAD NOW AND PENANT - I feel the same way that you do - don't know what to do. I know he had his ring on the whole time he was emailing OW and when he had his arms around her and even when he touched her - don't know how he did it - will never understand it and can't bring myself to put ring on but constantly look at my hand and wonder why he did it. God bless you all here.

Admittedly I'm in a very bad place right now but here goes. After dday I took mine off. We later renewed our vows and bought new rings. At one time in my life the wedding ring meant something, now not so much. I wear the new ring but it really doesn't mean what it should to me. I agree that my ring wasn't tarnished but what it represented surely was. In the end a ring is only a manmade symbol of something that is intangible. I would rather have done without the ring and had the fidelity.

Told you I was in a bad place.

Slightly off topic. I did take off my ring for a while and it felt great. I did not get rid of it however, MC told me to start wearing it again. I took his word.

In August of this year I was playing with the kids and hurt my ring finger. I have a slightly swollen joint now (doctor said it's not going to return to normal) and my ring does not fit. If I widen it, it would be way to loose once it gets past my knuckle. I haven't been wearing because of injury and not because I don't want to. Karma?

It truly is the littlest of things that make me laugh.

I took mine off my ring finger. He broke all the vows that it represented. It was my mother's ring, so I now wear it as a regular ring on my right hand ring finger. I lost the band shortly after DDay #1. I had lost so much weight that it must have fallen off somewhere.It was the band I had made from my mother's old jewlery. He finally noticed a few weeks ago, it's been a year, that I was no longer wearing them on my left hand and he said he would like me to wear them on my left hand again. I just looked at him. Nope, he gave the OW a diamond engagement ring two years ago. It would now be a trigger for me to ever wear it again.

I hate mine, hate wearing it, hate seeing it on my hand, hate what it represents. But I wear it and act normal so no questions will be asked. I put it on every morning just like I do my deoderant. It has about that much meaning to me now.

I quit wearing my ring to make a point. My wife smuggled it to a jeweler along with some other excess gold we had, had it melted down, and gave me a bigger, better ring. On the inside, she engraved, "Trust and Love Forever"

funny this topic is here. I was looking at new rings today. I loved my ring but had it made AFTER THE FIRST DDAY many years ago. we renewed our vows then and it meant something to me. I took it off about a year ago, before this dday. I felt our marriage dying and his lying about alcoholism got to me. Now i could not wear it again. I have tried but i gained some wieght so it doesnt fit anyway.

I hate it, its beautiful but i hate it.

I tossed my big diamond ring off the back deck. Our house sits over a steep 1/2 acre of trees and brush. He spent two days and 'grid'ed out" the hillside to find it. He then took it to work because if I see it again it will go somewhere else like into the septic tank. He and his AP both wore their rings when they'd meet for their romantic weekends. Clearly the ring signified nothing to him. I asked him not to wear the ring I gave him again. He claims it would be easier to "fend off" the women with it, but it didn't work for him before. No rings; he can have that as a remembrance of the meaning of his affair.

He wears his and has never removed it. It didn't stop him cheating.

I don't wear the ones he gave me. When he gave it to me on our wedding day he promised to be faithful to me as long as we both lived! I can't wear it without thinking about what he did. It sits in the jewellery box - he has asked me to wear them again but I just can't.

Hi there, I wore mine for about the first year or so after Dday in 2006, but since taking it off at that point, I haven't put it back on. It makes me sad beyond belief to look at it, I remember also feeling like a fraud wearing it, it had promises that came along with it and those promises were broken, I loved my ring. I still have it in a drawer, haven't yet been able to actually sell it, heck I haven't even looked at it in over 3 yrs. fWH has been wearing his since Dday, he didn't wear it all the time pre-Dday and didn't wear it during A as he always said he didn't really "like" jewellery etc. I was fine with it, I see it on his finger now and it makes me feel like he's a hypocrite. :-(

After DD I took my rings off and he flipped out. He can't handle seeing my bare finger. I asked him if he took his ring off while he was having sex with OW and he said no, i never removed it and acted like he was noble for doing it. Well that was the wrong answer, I told him I couldn't bear looking at it knowing it had touched her body. He got rid of it immediately. We bought him a new ring but I know now that a ring on the finger doesn't mean anything to anybody except the faithful spouse.

Obviously the OW didn't care and he didn't care. It didn't bother them in the least to see his wedding ring on his finger. I asked him if she wore her's and he said he can't remember.

We also renewed our vows and he bought me a new set. I switch back and forth between sets. My rings aren't tainted as I kept my vows so it doesn't bother me to wear them.