SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I never wore mine much due to military operations, and other jobs I had that required no rings/jewelry. WW wore it most times on a gold chain, along with a baby ring from our daughter. I did however greatly enjoy wearing it when I did; it made me feel connected, and I liked the way it looked.

I told WW to stop wearing the ring, engagement ring, and diamond engagement ring wrap because they were given in love, and your actions disgrace that for me. She did stop for awhile wearing other rings in their place, but I see them on lately... Not sure why, other than the hot-shot executive could not stand being asked why, and her exceedingly thin, highly polished veneer scratched.

Sure, they are simply round, fitted pieces of diluted Au, but as the flag is nothing more than colored cloth with stars and stripes, they mean/meant a hell of a lot to me, and both I would have gladly laid my life down to defend, honor, protect and love.

Do3K lost his first wedding band, so I bought him a replacement one about two years into our M...he wore that one occasionally. I stopped wearing mine for a duration of about six months post D-Day and finally put it back on around Christmas time that year b/c I wanted R and he was trying.

We renewed our vows last August and both of us got new rings. Do3K took his old one to a PAWN shop about a week before the ceremony and wore his original one until he received his new one. I just sold his original one in an ebay auction on Friday He also replaced my original rings with a new ring, but didn't get it sized until about six months ago...he wouldn't tell me where he got it from, so I couldn't just go in and do the free sizing Now that I have my new ring and it fits, I sold my original band and I am going to be selling the engagement ring. The new one doesn't feel like it is as special as the original ones. I know there are many reasons for that...broken vows before, the new ring was a last minute thing that Do3K did, etc.

He put that ring on my finger while carrying on the A. I want no part of it. It disgusts me that he wore the identical one while he was with her. The fact that he still wears his disturbs me. He thinks it symbolizes the marriage. I think its a joke because he he had no intention of being faithful to me when he took his vows.

I want him to remove the ring but have never asked. I couldnt figure out why seeing that ring on his finger pissed me off so much. Now I know its because sometimes he wore it with her and sometimes he didnt.

Three wedding bands crushed here. No regrets.

I made him remove the first one since he kept it on while screwing both and told him to get rid of it. He put on an old ring.

Well I found the one I told him to get rid of in the house after we moved. He brought it with us to the new house... One angry Irish blooded woman + a hammer - a silver mens ring - a white gold woman's band - a titanium band = shocked MC. He didn't think you could do what I did to a titanium band.

There have been no renewals and I don't know if I will ever be able to do so.

It makes it really hard to be ok when EVERY year a old or new slut comes sniffing around! This time it's a girl he knew when he was 16. He's in his 30's for fucks sake. Started texting him out of the blue when she saw him getting his hair cut at the place she works. She saw him in June and waited till OCTOBER to start texting him. Talk about misuse of company information.

[This message edited by AttemptStrength at 8:52 AM, October 16th (Tuesday)]

We sold all ours. I may have kept my vows but the rings symbolise both of us so they were sold. His were sold as well, the original one we said vows with that he put away after it got damaged and the 2nd one I bought him that he wore with OW, never took it off until I told him I was going to crush it and chuck it away with his finger still attached. He bought himself a titanium band that he now wears and I sometimes wear my original and now meaningless engagement ring when we go out in public.

Funny -- I got a text from WH about an hour ago that he met with his IC and... when I'm ready... maybe we could splash out for new rings as a sign of re commitment?

I haven't worn mine since DD and at first he was upset about this, said that not wearing them was a sign I wasn't working on R. I soon let him know what I thought about THAT....

I think it's going to be a while, buddy.

WH has lost his wedding ring - twice. Once while playing football and it fell off in the ocean (I witnessed it happen) and the other got lost at work (he had to take it off for work reasons/digging into machinery and all that stuff). He wore the new one off and on for a while and then not at all. It always hurt a lot that he didn't, especially since I always wore mine, even when my hands were swollen in pregnancy.

His EA was primarily via phone and text so the ring didn't matter/interfere at all.

I had taken my rings off about a month 1/2 before I found out. We were in a horrible place and I just couldn't stand to wear them anymore. About a month after DDay, WH gave me my wedding ring back and asked me to wear it; he had already put his on and hasn't removed it since. I accepted it but honestly, want to toss it sometimes..... it just represents a lot of hurt...

My fWW now wears mine on her thumb for some unknown reason.

I am SOOOOO not a sap. So I am absolutely cracking up at myself as I read this and think of our rings.

We kept them. We wear them. First off, I still like the dang thing! It looks good on my finger. Second, his is subtly knocked up and dented all over and mine is shiny, "diamondy" and bright on the outside, but was repaired on the inside (you can see the workmanship if you look inside the band. Sounds like we have the right two rings for this M! I just can't imagine not having them!!

I did take them on and off thru out this process, but always put in a safe place.

Blow me down - a sap I guess I am!

XBH took his off on D-day. I have no idea if he still has it; I doubt it. I wore mine for a couple of weeks, took them off when we filed for D. I pawned them the day after I found out he was having sex with my xBFF, approx. 4 weeks after D-day. I don't regret getting rid of them in the least. What they stood for, I destroyed. That's the same reason I'm glad we divorced---the marriage was broken by my actions. We are building a new relationship, and when we remarry we will get new rings.

I still have my wedding ring but I can't wear it due to eczema. Who knows, maybe I will try again some day. What I did do was tossed my wedding picture into the swamp beside the house we are renting. My husband went out and tried to find it for me once we both calmed down but no success. In a way, I am glad he did not find it. That was the old us, maybe a new picture needs to be taken, one that represents the "new us". He lost his ring many years ago. Funny because his is in the bottom of a pond. I was with him when it happened. He looked for it for about a half hour but could not find it. Maybe someone was trying to send us a message !

I'm with those that believe the ring signified the vows and marriage. To me, even though the WW was the one to stray, and I was true, it did not matter to me. The marriage was destroyed and with it goes the ring. She wears hers and never stopped. I could care less. Perhaps she's afraid if she took it off, I'd sell it.

JM didn't wear his for years, almost our entire M because of working with machinery. When he first started talking to ow it made it easy to bypass the whole "Are you married?" question.

I had pawned my original engagement ring to pay bills during a period when I was out of work due to my drug addiction, and he had bought me an almost identical one for our 5th anniversary. I sold that and the wedding band at a pawn shop the day he moved into his apartment, for a hundred bucks. Did not even care. He noticed I wasn't wearing them and had something snotty to say. I said, "They are gone. And if by some miracle we manage to put this thing back together you'll have to put a new ring on that hand."

I wore my college ring on my wedding ring finger and he HATED it. When he bought my new engagement and wedding rings, we chose white gold instead of yellow, but used the same cut of diamond. To me it symbolized carrying some of the old into our new covenant. When we renewed our vows, it was very much a new covenant based on a newly shared faith, a true commitment to each other, recognizing that our original vows were as flawed as the people who had made them.

It works for us.

I wear my band but not my engagement ring. Not sure hoe to explain it but the engagement ring never seemed appropriate after D day. I will wear the band as long as I am married.

I am so grateful to have found this site. Finally....others who think/thought and do/did some of what I have. The wedding rings....... I sold ours as scrap and I'm glad I did. They mean absolutely nothing now which is sad because mine was very special to me. We plan to renew our vows in February 2014 and will get new ones then but, it's funny (not in a haha way), a wedding ring really doesn't matter to me these days. Mine became a deadly weapon, they are all just rings now.

My ring means little to me, it never did really, but I'd not part with it.

It was, and always will be, my maintenance of my vows that means something.

I wear my band but not my engagement ring. Not sure hoe to explain it but the engagement ring never seemed appropriate after D day. I will wear the band as long as I am married.

LOL I'm the opposite I still wear my engagement ring, but I refuse to wear the wedding band. To me, the engagement ring represents fWH's promise/desire to be with me. And I'm confident in that. The wedding bands had our marriage vows engraved on the inside (his said love, honor, comfort, keep) and those vows were blown sky high out of the water by his affairs. Therefore I will not wear mine ever again. He still wears his old one, which drives me nuts because I know he accidentally wore it to OW#1's house a few times, but I deal with it because I don't want him walking around with NO ring on. So he'll wear it till we get new ones for our 10th anniversary.

We will keep the old ones in my jewelry box probably. Even though there's a lot of pain associated with them, I can't quite get to the point where I'm willing to throw them out or sell them.

To me it symbolized carrying some of the old into our new covenant.

This was an important concept for me when I was looking for a new ring. I ended up picking one that is not a "traditional" wedding ring, it has small flowers on it that are the state flower of the place where we went on our honeymoon. So for me it ties together our past and our future.

We plan to exchange the new rings and new vows (privately) next year for our 10th anniversary. Hopefully someplace warm and sandy

LostinLove68 - You're lucky to have a backyard swamp!

I actually took mine off recently to clean it and I just can't bring myself to put it back on because at least once a day I am thinking to myself that filing for divorce would be easier than looking at him every day....

In kind of a bad place and don't know what to do...

He wears his and I just look at him each day and wonder if I ever knew him at all.

I think our marriage ended the minute he began talking to her in any other way than as a fellow co-worker and I don't see him bending over backwards to make it all up to me... maybe I am not as special as she was and he really doesn't love me at all.

I took my wedding ring off on d-day.I also kicked my FWH out.

He had to come back the next day to pick up some items and I noticed that he wasn't wearing his ring.

He told me that he realized that he disgraced everything it stood for!

( He was one of those that never took the ring off during his LTA).

Well..due to his extreme remorse and efforts to save the marriage I eventually agreed to reconcile.

We had a re-commitment ceremony and got new rings.

I feel that the new rings represent our 'new' marriage.