SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

((((Lost))))

Hang in there. And use whatever influence you can to get him held for a psych stay (either with him for a voluntary stay or express your concerns to the medical personnel for an involuntary stay). Regardless of whether he was explicitly attempting suicide or whether it was 'just' an accident, he clearly needs help in the coping department. I don't believe that he will be safe if allowed to leave on his own. Look how far down things have gotten for him.

In any case, you are not responsible for his poor decisions, and if all attempts to keep him in the hospital fail, please don't beat yourself up over it and try to avoid feeling responsible for his well-being. You are NOT.

I'm glad to hear that he is at least out of the emergency crisis. And I hope that DTOM will understand that this does not mean that 'everything's ok' now and go back to the way things were. (But that's on him, not you.)

Sending you both strength to get you through this.

((((Lost))))

This is a major relapse for him and hopefully his bottom. He will resist treatment because addicts spend an inordinate amount of time trying their damnedest to be in control of out of control situations. He still thinks he can handle this. He can't.

I believe strongly in the disease model to addiction treatment. First and foremost in my opinion he needs to get his brain chemistry stabilized and to a place where he can make sound recovery decisions.

Think of how out of whack his chemical processes must be with the sheer volume of mood altering substances he's been taking. And this is exactly why I LOATHE benzos for treatment of anxiety. They are highly addictive and the withdrawal will actually exacerbate the issues you started taking them for in the first place. I have some pretty strong anxiety and taking ONE ativan or lorazipam to fly will make me weepy and anxious the next day. A mood hangover if you will.

So all that being said.. the longer you can hold him there, the longer he HAS to let his brain recover a little and get a tiny bit of stability going.

If willpower alone were enough people wouldn't be addicts. IMO he needs to be somewhere without access to any substances he can abuse to get his footing.

However, this isn't up to you or yours to control. You can suggest it, but obviously can't make him.

Just wishing you strength Lost.

Hi all. Thank you for the support. I have been in the hospital for about three days now. I have left briefly but not for long.

We are waiting for him to be medically cleared and then for the psychiatrist to determine where he will go. I'm hoping its the third floor psych. I know he didn't like it there before but he will be safe there and it will give him some time to think clearer. Last night he was trying to get xanax to sleep. One of the doctor's put the order in cause he was agitated. That is what he F-ing overdosed on!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him if he takes that I'm walking out right now. I also talked to the nurse this morning about him not taking it and gave her more history.

I also talked to his mom more about addiction and she seems to understand more that he can't take anything.

I know he's still not in his right mind though cause he is still trying to get out of going to psych floor. But I have talked to the staff and I did everything I can. After that it is up to him.

Thank you all for being there. You have been such a comfort to me.

Oktobermest and I send our thoughts and hopes from here in the UK

Hi all. Thank you for the support. I have been in the hospital for about three days now. I have left briefly but not for long.

We are waiting for him to be medically cleared and then for the psychiatrist to determine where he will go. I'm hoping its the third floor psych. I know he didn't like it there before but he will be safe there and it will give him some time to think clearer. Last night he was trying to get xanax to sleep. One of the doctor's put the order in cause he was agitated. That is what he F-ing overdosed on!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him if he takes that I'm walking out right now. I also talked to the nurse this morning about him not taking it and gave her more history.

I also talked to his mom more about addiction and she seems to understand more that he can't take anything.

I know he's still not in his right mind though cause he is still trying to get out of going to psych floor. But I have talked to the staff and I did everything I can. After that it is up to him.

Thank you all for being there. You have been such a comfort to me.

Oops double post. Silly phone

Thanks for the updates Lost. Just been sitting here checking on the thread since I don't have much productive to say, but I do care.

If I think of something that might be helpful I will let you know.

So I left the hospital. I was feeling nauseous and exhausted. I am also feeling numb and a bit angry and hurt. I feel a bit guilty for feeling angry and hurt since he almost died but I do feel it. I mean I know his addiction is a disease but he is not choosing help. He will be going to the the psych. floor but all he can think about is when he can get out.

I don't know if he really understands the ramifications of what he did. He was so close to dying. The police said that 20 more minutes and he would have died.

He's had room service, everyone paying attention to him, me spending the night, his family spending the night and everyone in that hospital encouraging him-and still........crickets.

I'm hoping with a few more days he will be more aware of what happened.

I'm going to take some time to take care of me. I called someone from my nar-anon meetings so that helped alot.

Thank you all again for being there. Your presence means alot.

I cannot beleive tbe docs gave him more xanax! At least he will survive this one. I want to let you know, I had a secret stash of xanax, in case I couldnt take life anymore . Thought swallowing the pills would mean I would get sleepy, go to sleep and just not wake up. Thenlighteningank you for inaugurating e to the real possibilities. I hope things continue to improve. He awhilewill most likely be very contrite for awhile

Sorry, phone is too.tricky for me. I am throwing put my stash of "plan c" pills because of this thread!

I'm going to take some time to take care of me.

Lost - I'm so relieved to see you taking time for you. I can't even begin to imagine how stressful this is for you.

Sending you strength and comfort. Hang in there, honey.

(((((((Lost)))))))

time2Bstronger-glad to hear you are changing your mind about the xanax. I truly believe we all have a purpose and I hope that you discover yours and will never feel like you can't live anymore.

I talked to DTOM and he sounded more positive. He said that he accepted he has to go to psych. floor and he is going to try to make the best of it. He apologized for hurting me and told me not to worry about him right now.

I am glad he is more positive. But I just keep seeing his face and his body in the ER that night. He was so lifeless. I feel so sick.

((((Lost))))

Thinking of you my friend.

Thoughts and prayers being sent you and DTOMs way from Beachbunny and I.

[This message edited by badchoice at 8:39 PM, November 16th (Friday)]

So relieved you took a time out for you.

Also it os good to hear you talked to someone and DTOM realizes he needs to go to the 3rd floor.

Contining to send prayers and warm hugs...

[This message edited by girlsbird at 1:16 AM, November 17th (Saturday)]