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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 7:03 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
(((Lost333)))
Prayers and positive thoughts coming your way...
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
coping/stuck ( member #35013) posted at 7:11 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Sending good thoughts and prayers of strength.
BS(me)48
WH 54
DD1 7/21/08, over a year to get the whole story out.
Married 22 1/2 years - together 24 1/2 yrs
4 kids
Trying to R
No one should know more about your life than you. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? God, I hope so.
isadora ( member #29130) posted at 7:19 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
(((lost dtom)))
I am so sorry. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and 2DSs
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 7:22 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
I am sorry you are dealing with this
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.
ungracie ( member #31901) posted at 7:35 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Me:50BS
married 26 years
together for 29 years
DDay:04/12/10 EA/PA
Working at R
The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.
Ben Okri
MegM ( member #34941) posted at 7:53 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Dear Lost
I am so sorry and now praying for you boith. As many here have said, you have worked so hard. Although now the fear and threat in front of you is great - you are strong.
You are DTOM's wife, you are his next of kin. If you want to be the key contact with the medical staff, all yo need too do is quietly assert this with them. Ask for some time with his doctor and lead nurse and tel them this.
MIL will be scared too and some personalities 'step up' and take control when they are under threat. It might be controlling, it might be coming from a place of 'kindness' as a way to support you or him. But it doesn't matter. That is your place if you want to take and no medical staff would deny you that place as his wife (and legally - they can't).
It is also ok if just for now you want to approach that differently and feel by MIL and FIL taking more of a lead role. that is up to you.
(((LOST )))
BS / fWS me 41 (@ DDay)
fWS / BS him 39-BlindFreddy (@DDay)
My DD's 13 Jan 2012 / 29 Jan / 27 Feb (Trickle truth for 5 wks)
His DDay Dec 2003 (details 06/12)
Married
3 ch(6 - 16 at discovery)
remembering "Sunshine on my shoulders"
Lost333 (original poster member #35182) posted at 8:14 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Thank u all. I told his parents and nurse that I want to be included and I am his wife.Plus I started introducing myself to staff and made it be known.
Great news!!!!!!!! He is awake. He is off vent. First he was upset and now he is angry and trying to leave. They may need to call security because he is agitated but he has a sitter.
Thank u all soooooo much.
[This message edited by Lost333 at 3:12 PM, November 16th (Friday)]
Me:29,WS/BS Him:27, BS/WS (DontTreadOnMe) His Dday 2/19/12. My Dday 9/29/12
Married: 2 yrs, together 4 1/2
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 8:15 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
I'm glad he's awake.
I'm also glad you requested that they keep him.
Lost333 (original poster member #35182) posted at 8:17 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Thank u all. I told his parents and nurse that I want to be included and I am his wife.Plus I started introducing myself to staff and made it be known.
Great news!!!!!!!! He is awake. He is off vent. First he was upset and now he is angry and trying to leave. But I petitioned for them to keep him. They may need to call security because he is agitated but he has a sitter.
Thank u all soooooo much.
Me:29,WS/BS Him:27, BS/WS (DontTreadOnMe) His Dday 2/19/12. My Dday 9/29/12
Married: 2 yrs, together 4 1/2
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin
NoTriangles ( member #35985) posted at 8:19 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Great news, Lost!!!!!
Feisty is a very good sign.
Sending you nonstop prayers.
Me: Finding my SunlightHim: Traitor in my FoxholeLet go or get dragged.
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 8:22 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
This is good news so far, that he is breathing on his own. I'm glad that you are introducing yourself so that the hospital staff know what's up - maybe it wasn't clear to them before? (and don't get me started on that moron nurse....)
Keep hanging in there, and I hope that there is no problem keeping him there - the hospital is EXACTLY where DTOM needs to be right now. He CANNOT take care of himself, he needs to be cared for by professionals.
If it helps, let him know that everyone here is pulling for him.
Sending you both more strength, and positive, healing thoughts. You are in my heart.
((((Lost)))) ((((DTOM))))
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
Missymomma ( member #36988) posted at 8:28 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Lost - Wow you have been through a lifetime of experiences in the last 24 hours. (((hugs))) You sound like you are handling it well. So glad he has woken up and great decision to keep him in the hospital! Take good care of yourself.
DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!
HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 8:29 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled
SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 9:07 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
I'm happy to hear things are looking up. You've done a great job taking control of a messy time- great!
Thinking positive thoughts here.
Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 9:07 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Hugs and support to you both. I'm so sorry; this has to be very difficult. I am praying for you two.
Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again
Staying together for the kids
D-day 2010
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 9:41 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
My prayers and support are with you. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
m334455 ( member #26893) posted at 9:41 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Remember his parents don't have the legal rights here, you do. If you have to sign something to have him kept there, do it. I suspect they will fight you on it.
Sadly, I've been there. Not quite as serious, but serious enough.
BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009
selkiescot ( member #23777) posted at 9:45 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Sending you strength and prayers Lost
The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.
Truthseekholly ( member #7791) posted at 9:45 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
(((Lost))) Glad to hear he's awake. Prayers for continued recovery.
Tis better to have loved and lost, than live with a psycho forever....
A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. ~Author Unknown
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 9:47 PM on Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Lostm
I am really proud of how you have stepped up and handled this crisis with DTOM. I feel it shows how much you have grown in the past few months. You know my thoughts are with both of you always. Keep up the good work. And don't forget about you.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
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