SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

OMG SG, my H is in the exact same boat with DS 11. He's autistic and hyperactive. Homework is so stressful. They both are wiped out at the end of the night. The students are in the 2nd week of state testing so they both get a much needed break from homework. It's peaceful and relatively stress free in our home as a result. He goes to middle school next year and that really worries us. My IC said that we could ask for modified homework in his IEP - I'm going to push for that at our next IEP meeting.

I don't even assign homework... It's not worth my time or theirs.

So far no parent has complained about it. No principal has called me on it and no kid has been upset.

I give Zeros for failing to do the work in class... where I'm working thru the assignments WITH my students or if they are doing it independently, I am always available to assist.

If a student refuses to do the work in class with me, refuses my help or won't do it at all... then they're not gonna do it with the parents at home.

Who needs the stress.

He goes to middle school next year and that really worries us. My IC said that we could ask for modified homework in his IEP - I'm going to push for that at our next IEP meeting.

This saved both DD and my sanity. Literally. DD was so stressed by the level of homework, she would blow up into panic-induced rages. And there's no way to recover from that and have any kind of instruction or learning sink in.

jrc, can you be my DS's teacher, PWEEEEEEEEZZZ?!?!?

nik, so it is possible? Oh man, I'm going to move mountains to make sure that is in his IEP.

there's no way to recover from that and have any kind of instruction or learning sink in

I totally get this. Once dad & DS have reached that "limit", it's a wrap. Dad is beyond frustrated and DS is in total meltdown mode.

The other issue I have is they allow kids to turn in "late work" all the way through middle school, and some allow it in Honors High School classes.

I teach all the way through AP 12th grade. I have to take late work. I tried to implement a penalty (10 points per day late) but that has been smacked down as well.

My heart goes out to teachers! Overworked and underpaid.

When my best friend decided she wanted to change careers and become a teacher, I gently asked if that is really what she wants to do.

Then I screamed, "Are you freakin' nuts? Remember how we were in school? It's 100 times worse now!!!"

Alas, she is now a teacher and perhaps has half of her hair left and has two glasses of wine when she gets home. She is a great teacher, and I'm proud of her.

nik, so it is possible? Oh man, I'm going to move mountains to make sure that is in his IEP.

Not just possible - fairly common. Go get 'em, MissesJai!

thanks nik! I may PM you if I end up having to battle it out with the school district. I don't see that happening, as they know me very well. I'm pretty aggressive with them because I HAVE to be. I've already left a message with DS's RSP teacher.

MissesJai, I would like the IEP but since it is close to years end we are just gonna defer it until next year I think.

DD was so stressed by the level of homework, she would blow up into panic-induced rages. And there's no way to recover from that and have any kind of instruction or learning sink in.

Yeah... 4 years of that so far. Amazingly we have made progress, he generally actually finishes his work this year and can work independently for brief periods.

jrc, I hope you get so many gift baskets that you don't have to buy groceries or booze for a month. That is awesome.

MissesJai, I would like the IEP but since it is close to years end we are just gonna defer it until next year I think.

start advocating for it now, SG. It's never too soon. Get it going now so that you have your annual IEP review around this time every year. The timing is great b/c you will be able to have him tested over the summer and develop goals for next year. Oh, and do EVERYTHING in writing. EVERYTHING.

jrc, can you be my DS's teacher, PWEEEEEEEEZZZ?!?!?

Well, You'd have to move to Florida.

nik, so it is possible? Oh man, I'm going to move mountains to make sure that is in his IEP.

Yes, it's very possible and I wouldn't go in guns ablaze when you ask for it... just ask in a casual way. Most educators/guidance people are good with it. If not, then get out the mama bear guns.

start advocating for it now, SG. It's never too soon.

I second this... SG - does your son already have an IEP? If not, it can take up to a year (in Florida) for a student to get tested and staffed (IEP written)

I'm an ESE teacher... have been for 15 years... Work with kids who have emotional/behavior problems as well as ADHD, ADD and Learning Disabilities... If anyone wants to PM me with questions I am more than willing to help.

start advocating for it now, SG. It's never too soon.

Seconding (thirding?) this. In my district, IEPs are written in the spring for the following school year. DD's is completed in March each year.

MissesJai - there are tons of online IEP resources if you are looking for specific wording, but I'm sure it's an accomodation that your IEP team will be familiar with and can work to apply to your DS's specific needs.

Good luck.

And now that I've THOROUGHLY jacked this thread, I want to circle back to sending love and respect out to all the teachers and professors.

Both of my parents were educators. They had such passion for the field and gave so much of themselves to it throughout their careers. And although the positives far outweighed the negative, it was not all shiny apples and thank you notes. Such hard and important work.

thanks nik! you & jrc have given me hope!

Since I am a "special area" teacher, librarian/teacher and not subject to the same level of accountability for grades and standardized tests, I actually like the end of the year. Sure the kids are nuts, but I pull out all my props, my science specimens, augment with cool youtube videos and amazing books and I keep them hooked until it's time for them to choose a library book.

Also, it's my last time to qualify for National Teacher's Day, I retire soon, so I am taking advantage of all the free meals offered!!!

Although your IEP or 504 must be reviewed annually (federal requirement), you are not limited to an annual review or update. If the plan is not working, or if you get new information about your child's condition or need for accommodation, or the situation changes in some way, you and your child have the right to have the plan reviewed. Your state should have the procedure and forms for requesting a review available online.

The school can be hellacious about it, foot dragging, etc etc. I find that a statement like, "gee, that's not what I understood about the YYYY. Let me call XXX at the district to see if we can get some clarity on it." The word "lawsuit" is also effective, but I'd save that one for really egregious and repeated misbehavior on the part of the school.

Don't put up with any crap regarding the IEP or 504. It's your kid's education, and he or she has a RIGHT under federal law to an appropriate education and to reasonable accommodations.

Edited to add: don't mean to sound too pugnacious here. I have a lot of sympathy for public schools and the hard job they have. Unfortunately, even with well meaning districts and schools, you will almost always have to be firm and push for what your child needs and has a right too. I love my DS's schools, and they love him, but I still spend a fair amount of time being a squeaky wheel.

[This message edited by StrongerOne at 11:51 PM, May 7th (Tuesday)]