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hopeful18 (original poster member #19234) posted at 7:44 PM on Thursday, May 9th, 2013
Ok so last month I discovered I was in a six year false r. My wh was having a pa with one person And an ea with another. I started to discover the ea and saw that my wh told me not to go to a "boring" business dinner and instead invited her. Somehow she did not go because she had to work late but he invited her and she planned to meet them all after. I called wh that night And said he needed to come home( long story) because I felt this was a turning point into a pa. Anyway I confronted him soon after and he admitted to ea and sex with someone twice. So now we are trying to fix this mess. This evening I am Joining him at a business dinner with the same people. All of a sudden I feel triggery. And I can't stop wondering if wh brought her with him with these people before? He says no. Not sure. So do I go out and be my charming self :). Do I tell wh I am starting to freak out? Or do I tell him tomorrow when we have a scheduled talk? I all if a sudden feel like I might be embarrassed to see these business people if he brought her. I have to see them next week anyway so I guess I will have to deal with it sooner or later. Advice needed!!
[This message edited by hopeful18 at 1:46 PM, May 9th (Thursday)]
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:52 PM on Thursday, May 9th, 2013
Well I see 2 options here. One you make sure you look drop dead gorgeous and go and be your awesome self.
or 2, and this would probably be the one I would take. Make him bow out of it, and stay home with you.
But a 6 year false R?!?! I'm not sure I could be trusted to be alone w/ my spouse if I had made this recent discovery.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
hopeful18 (original poster member #19234) posted at 7:57 PM on Thursday, May 9th, 2013
I don't want him to cancel because its his biggest client. In terms on false r. He is saying that it did not occur again until this winter. Still is false r but somehow seems the smallest bit better.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 12:48 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013
Go. Make sure that you're dressed to the 9's and become that charming and attractive wife that everyone at the table admires. Afterwards, I personally would then cut him cold. No matter when he started screwing around again, it's still a second DDay to you, lies from him, and more pain. Especially as you know that he was planning to present her to his clients as his wife-wannabe.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Lucky ( member #6864) posted at 4:45 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013
I hope you went and charmed all with your fabulous self!
♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥
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