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ExposedNiblet ( member #30803) posted at 7:09 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
ooooh, the suspense is killing me!
How did it go, Abbondad?
We're all patiently waiting for your update.
Well?
(no rush
)
momentintime ( member #16394) posted at 8:13 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
When she levels "you broke your promise" at you, tell her that the M is over and you are ending it in the most humane way you can for both of you. No back and forth, no bullying by her, just lawyers and the law. She wants to not have to pay CS, she wants the house, she wants OM, but you as her safety blanket and back up plan. You are no longer going with her wants.
[This message edited by momentintime at 2:14 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]
BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd
"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl
CheaterMagnet ( member #33581) posted at 8:17 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Sending you strength and peace today AD.
(((((((HUGS)))))))
PM me if you need to. I'll be around today.
If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5
realitybites ( member #6908) posted at 8:29 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
People are allowed to change their mind.
You changed your mind. Period.
But you do need to REALLY learn to STOP talking to her everyday. Truly. I think you are getting better about trying to put your foot down but I think you have this great idea that you 2 can part as friends or whatever....I think when you say "she will get mad" is like you worrying about "hurting" her....and sadly there are no winners in this whole D process.
I do believe however there are parents who once they get passed (way passed) the final D will learn to parent with each other. But I have a feeling you 2 are not there and I hope you are really ready to step back and let the attorney handle all of this and try not to "nice" her into this divorce process.
Good luck and I hope you learned what you needed to in your app't. Its just the beginning.
Stop expecting loyalty from people who cannot even give you honesty.
He stopped being my husband the first time he cheated. It took me awhile to understand that I was no longer his wife.
Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 8:44 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Hi Everyone,
Just a quick update.
Great attorney. A pit bull and very knowledgable.
Reassured me that I have "a very strong case."
Said, "Abbondad, with your permission I want to hit her hard."
I said, "Go for it, please."
WW has nothing on me and I have plenty of hard shit against her if she stupidly goes against her lawyers advice and decides to get ugly.
If she does, just let her hang herself. She already has with her actions.
Most damning: the fact that she left her home and kids with me, thus refuting any false allegation against me involving "danger" to the kids, abuse toward her, etc.
Expects I will get all the CS kids are entitled to regardless of her current employment situation and will owe me at least some SS.
What to say to her? Basically talk to my attorney. Ignore as noise anything else she throws at me. (Essentially what all of you have been telling me!;-)
Thanks everyone. That was really hard, but I feel protected. Oh and she was impressed by and pleased with my meticulous record keeping.
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
ExposedNiblet ( member #30803) posted at 8:52 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Bravo, friend. You have endured the worst of it. Well done. From here on out, the road should be a bit smoother - make no mistake, it WILL get bumpy sometimes, but you've got a good lawyer who will be able to ride it out with you.
I remember how relieved I was after my first meeting with my attorney. I am so happy that you seem to have the same result. Yay Abbondad!!!
Onward!
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:13 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Congrats. You have to feel just a bit of relief and some peace now.
See OCD isn't always a bad thing. LOL. Keeping your financials in order is going to help you.
I on the other hand, ADHD, couldn't lay hands on the last 3 years of tax returns without a 2 hours search first, and I know they are all definitely in different places.....
Cause that is just how I roll....
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Mikey56 ( member #38063) posted at 9:45 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
AD,
You made my day:
Said, "Abbondad, with your permission I want to hit her hard."
I said, "Go for it, please."
Peace brother...
Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 10:51 PM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Hi, Everyone,
Now that I have FINALLY, officially filed--thanks to nearly a year of prodding and pummeling from you wonderful, relentless people ;-) I am starting a new thread to reflect the next step in my saga.
Thanks to everyone for your continuing support!
(Mod, please close this thread)
[This message edited by Abbondad at 4:53 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
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