SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

He jumped on that like a "hobo on a ham sandwich" or like a "duck on a June bug."

I'm busier than a "long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs."

She's working at that like she's "killin snakes."

I was raised by a hillbilly mama - I got a million of em.

NL

"Welcome to hell,here's your Michael Bolton CD".

"Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater".

I know where this one came from! I love all this stuff.

Ages ago when people used to bathe once or twice a year ( ) They would bathe in one tub of water starting with the father, then mother, then children and finally the baby would be last in the cold, nasty, dirty water. Poor baby

My dad had a ton of sayings.

One that I remember is "You're so full of shit your eyes are brown."

He also used to say "go piss up a rope."

I'm going to have to try and remember more.

And my mom told me to remember no one was going to buy the cow if you give the milk away for free. I heard that when I was young, long before I would even think of giving the milk away.

My SO asked me if I considered myself a disgruntled housewife and I said "I'm not the cow, I'm the free milk." He had no idea what I was talking about. I know the pig and sausage version is relatively new, but I'm gobsmacked he's never heard that expression.

My mom would say:

"Well, for Pete's sake!"

Who's Pete?

I was always like "WHO would willingly POOP in their own hand?????"

You have GOT to read Dave Sedaris's new book.

"Piss up a rope" and "take a long hike off a short pier" confused me as a child. I heard about frog hair and "rare as hen's teeth" often. We had "nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" and someone being on something "like white on rice." The one I've never heard anybody else say, ever, that was kind of common was "we are up against the naked rooster on that one."

It wasn't until I got older that I realized what the naked rooster might be, and yeah. Nobody's going to go around saying that out loud. Often, anyway.

"we are up against the naked rooster on that one."

don't know whether to be scared or get the flour and oil out....

"they can pick a nice bucket of blackberries"

what my granny would say when she couldn't say anything nice about someone.

"if the dog hadn't stopped to smell it's own shit"

"people in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks".. always confused me as a child as I wasn't even allowed to throw a BALL in the house, and our house was made of wood and bricks.

How about, "It's better than a sharp stick in the eye."

Um, yeah...

Oh, and is the 'naked rooster' followed by 'choking the chicken'?

Old Indiana saying,"I need some mud for my turtle" Yes it means the what you think it means.

Some favorites in our house:

"Busier than a three peckered goat"

"Faster than a raped ape" or "runs like a raped ape" <--- I sure wouldn't wanna be around that ape.

"Busier than an 8 day clock" <---- yeah, what?

"a skunk smells it's own self first" My grandmother's comment when we were blaming farts on each other

"oh, horsefeathers" What?! I think my Mom made this up so she wouldn't use swear words around us.

"So you decided to go out and talk smart and act dumb." My FIL's comment about the effects of drinking.

I just thought of another one. We moved to the country from the city when I was about 13. I was constantly complaining to my mother about being in the middle of nowhere and all the other kids being hicks

She of course told me to get over myself with and go make friends. So while hanging out with the neighbour kids (who lived a half mile away ) one of them actually said

"You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a shovel full of peas." I kid you not.

I remember repeating it at the dinner table and whinging some more about having nothing in common with these kids

I got over it eventually but the phrase still makes me laugh.

He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heal.

NL

My mom used to always say to us kids when we'd leave the door open "were you born in a barn?"

Or "you make a better door than you do a window" while standing in front of someone or something like the tv.

My Grandmother, an Arkansas mountain woman - had SO many sayings. When someone ran off in a hurry, she'd say..."boy! They sure hooked up to the ankle wagon!" And one of my favorites was: "A whistlin' woman and a crowin' hen, always comes to some bad end."

Another of my father's favorites: Go shit in your hat- a nice(?!?) way to say 'go fuck yourself'

My father was like the father in A Christmas Story--he used profanity like an art form and never realized he was using it. When I used 'fuck' for the first time, it was at the dinner table; he put his fork down, stunned, and said, "Where did you hear that word?" I said, indignantly, "From you!" That was the end of the discussion; he couldn't defend himself.

OMG, Sad as Ralphie... with the new glasses I can almost see it.

'That sounds like ignorance gone to seed.'

I guess you'd say that in response to ... oh ... anything said in a TV ad, for instance, especially political ads.