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toomanyregrets ( member #37740) posted at 2:19 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013
Your her father now.
She's with you.
Your WW sent her home to you, because she said that where she's living now is not a place to raise a child.
That's all you need for custody.
FIGHT FOR HER !
BH - 66 - Retired
fWW - 62
"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife
"Regret is when you realize you broke your own heart.
Remorse is when you realize you broke someone else's." - Bla
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 3:15 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013
Bill,
This is your daughter and you need to step up and do what is in the best interest of her.
She absolutely should not go back to her mom. At 13 she knows something isn't right but she loves her mom so wants to make her happy. You probably need to talk with her and see if she would go into counseling (both of you should go) and learn how to deal with mom in a healthy manner. There is no shame in getting professional help in a situation like this.
Fight for your daughter. She is sooo worth it.
k9
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
wonderpets ( member #35901) posted at 3:23 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013
Why would she ever go back? Sorry for the 2x4, but get your shit together! Keep your daughter safe!
BillyinArkansas (original poster new member #39666) posted at 3:24 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013
I told her last night that I wouldn't ask her questions about her mom, but I was available for her and if she had any questions she wanted to ask me, or issues she wanted to talk about, I would answer her honestly about them. Her mom does have her all twisted up, for example she said that she hates her grandma (who sided with me and was talking to me) and that I shouldn't talk to her. She volunteered that right off, lol. Apparently my daughter thinks that she is only here for a two week visit. I asked my lawyer what my options are. My wife specifically told me before she put her on the plane that if I tried anything, like keeping her, that she would fight me for her. I think she has talked to a lawyer or maybe my daughter's biological father gave her a head's up about the custodial infringement charge that she has sidestepped and also that Arkansas would probably have jurisdiction in a custody dispute.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 6:15 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013
Great job on getting your daughter back! I'm so happy for you AND your daughter. Please try to have a good long weekend with her and give her a chance to settle back into her home and decompress.
I do hope that you are going to have your lawyer file immediately for physical custody, for a restriction that mom cannot take your daughter out of the state, and look at your prospects for separation. If your WW wants to screw around in CA, she can do so. She's an adult. However not as your wife. And given that CA is a community property state, please make sure that you originate the legalities. You want your state's laws working for you and for your daughter's stability.
Hang in there, dad. You're doing really great.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
BillyinArkansas (original poster new member #39666) posted at 10:00 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013
My daughter's taking a shower. I finally coaxed her out of her room. I had thought she was sleeping from her trip, but she was in there texting her mom saying that she felt like a stranger here and wanted to go back, her mom called and said, any way. I told my daughter that I was still her same old dad, and try to relax and be herself. It's awkward.
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