SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Oh, man! ((((((Ama)))))) Sending everything I've got.

Hang in there Ama; more mojo headed your way.

(((ama)))

Sending mojo and hugs, and good thoughts for your review.

Hang in there! You are stretched pretty thin, which isn't helping...

**~+*mojo*+~**

Holding you in the *LIGHT.* You are always a source of help to so many here. NEVER hesitate to ask for help when you need it...

Hugs to you!

More mojo and positive thoughts from the night crowd!

Oh wow, just saw this...

Huge, ridiculous amounts of mojo.

Teslet happy dancing mojo for good measure.

Husky woo-wooing mojo just in case!!!

Mojo and Good vibes sent your way.

Good luck tomorrow, I hope you can relax and take care of you a bit over the weekend.

Well, I was told that I need to be more flexible (I work in compliance...). And that, in her exit interview last month, my former boss told them she was unable to speak to anyone's commitment to the organization, so they assume that means her team is not committed and supportive, and that even though it's a third hand comment and I shouldn't take it personally, it's reflected in my review that my team and I are divisive and critical.

But I got a $5K raise.

I cried the first twenty minutes after she said that I was divisive, and told her that I'm very uncomfortable with a third hand assumption about a group of people being reflected in my personal file.

She didn't give me the written review because she said she didn't word things accurately and wants to edit it before she gives me a copy. I don't know what to make of any of it.

Wait, what?

They tell you you are divisive based on a former boss's exit interview (and she left because?) but give you a 5G raise?

Well, that's fucking confusing.

(((Ama)))

former boss's exit interview (and she left because?)

She left because she was uncomfortable with several business practices. As the general counsel, she raised concerns and they were ignored. So she removed herself from the situation. I talked to her about what she said and she was asked whether her team was going to follow her (also quit) and her response was that she didn't feel like she could answer that question, because how could she know anyone else's plans or intentions? and encouraged them to talk to us directly. Which they never did. So they totally twisted what she said.

Sending mucho mojo your way!!!! Hope things improve quickly.

(((((Ama)))))

Oh, honey. I'm sorry the review went as it did, but I am celebrating your raise. A 5k bump is NOT trivial - especially these days!

(((((hugs)))))

((((Ama)))) How are you today, dear?

I feel like my life could be a stress study right now.

Job stress on an interpersonal level. Job hunt stress. School stress. Never home. LDR.

Crying wears me out physically; coming to class tonight was NOT what I wanted to do. Yet here I am until 10pm. I've got class from 9-5 tomorrow too. Sunday will be homework. Then ... rinse and repeat. 40 hours at work. 18 hours in class. Homework homework homework in all the gaps, and so much reading. I read five chapters for one class last night after work.

Two of my classes end in five weeks. The third ends in seven. Hopefully the job offer will come through and my last day at work will be soon.

The end is sort of in sight, but it feels like one of those runs toward the horizon where it is never as close as you think it will be.

You can do it. It's not going to last forever.

Don't stress over the job stuff. They wouldn't have given you that big of a raise if they had any reservations about your ability. They always have to say something that you need to work on in the future.

That place isn't in your long term plan anyway. big hug to you...

Sorry guys. I feel really whiney about this. The review and the current job stuff ... it's not just normal office drama. One of my attorneys who has been practicing for a long time said she's never been somewhere like this before. I've been in this office two years and more than a hundred people have walked out the door. We only have 44 on staff right now. There have never been more than 75 full time staff while I have worked here.

The review totally threw me, my team, and my former boss under the bus. My boss' review was glowing. The woman who actually presented my review (because boss left) attached an addendum that started by stating that my boss' review cannot be trusted because I had a positive working relationship with her. Everything she said was twisted. The whole thing seriously makes me sick to my stomach. I was looking at my bank today trying to figure out if I could quit. (I can't.)

[This message edited by Amazonia at 7:30 PM, July 12th (Friday)]

That place sounds toxic, although it also sounds like a typical law firm if the places my friends work are any indication. I hope you get that job soon.

You have been down the infidelity path, I don't know your whole story, only that you were a BS. So take a little of what you learned there to this situation...

D-E-T-A-C-H.

The mean tone of the reviewer was apparently to keep you reeling, and she did that, to keep you off balance, but tempered with 5K to keep you with the firm, why? Because you are GOOD, are NOT divisive, are competent and they NEED YOU.

The nastiness is all about THEM.

Keep up the good work in school, keep the job hunt open and my favorite slogan, "this too shall pass."

Lots of love coming to you from cyberspace...

I'm so glad that your review resulted in a raise, and I'm sorry about the other stuff.

At the end of the day it's just how you assessed it - some random third party's half-assed comment on your performance, likely a product of someone else trying to bury their own inadequacies.

I hope that you have some peace now. Your job is secure, and you are improving other aspects of your life so that you'll have more options in the future.

(((Amazonia)))