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Reconciliation :
fWH is getting rid of his truck because of Tt

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 DoneWithLove (original poster member #39380) posted at 12:16 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

As crappy as it is, I love that truck but I cant let him keep his A vehicle. It pisses me off because since his A, I have asked him several times if he had that OW in our truck and he kept telling me that he didn't. Yesterday, I found out that he not only had her in the truck but they messed around in it and he took her on dates in it. The truck is as good as gone, he still ows on it, but its gone. Im getting a Yukon and he gets our other vehicle. Im very happy with that, especially since before, he wanted to get rid of my car and keep his A vehicle. Its a win win for me but I deserve it, especially after what ive sacrificed for him to accomplish what he has. Now its my turn and im going to use this new found info to my advantage. I know I dont need him but I could sure use the help and support when I go back to school.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 7:49 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)]

BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

posts: 191   ·   registered: May. 28th, 2013   ·   location: The mitten state
id 6429566
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TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 12:34 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

Done...the spouse of my hubby's OW has the same problem with her truck. I guess that, when they weren't rendezvousing over seas on business they would use her truck to screw around in. He has explained to me he wants to take a bat to the truck every morning when he thinks of what they did in it. I don't blame him one bit

T

Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!

posts: 605   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: CDN
id 6429600
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 1:08 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

DoneWithLove,

Please follow the Reconciliation Forum guidelines. There is no OP namecalling in this forum.

Thank you.

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 6429645
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 DoneWithLove (original poster member #39380) posted at 1:48 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

Ok, sorry.

BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

posts: 191   ·   registered: May. 28th, 2013   ·   location: The mitten state
id 6429709
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meplusfour ( member #38958) posted at 1:57 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

My fWH traded in his truck for a new truck three weeks ago because the truck was a major trigger for me. The truck was a constant reminder that fWH would pick up the OW in his truck and then either go to her home or engage in oral sex in the truck. Frankly, fWH is lucky that the truck still existed as I had vivid fantasies of torching it.

BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

posts: 438   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6429728
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cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 2:38 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

I hate h's truck and phone.

Wish we could afford to get rid of both!

He had her in his truck for dates. I hate to sit in it. I always feel nauseated and stressed.

I want to smash his phone with a hammer. I view it as the instrument of my pain.

Then the list is just so long I might as well just burn down the house!

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6429791
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Schilling ( member #39774) posted at 2:45 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

cantaccept,

That is how i feel about my Wbf's phone and car. gah.

I am 26(Bgf). He is 36 (Wbf).
On Again, Off Again - 10 years.
Not Married. No Kids.
D-Day: Too many to list/ remember.
Trying to Reconcile.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jul. 8th, 2013   ·   location: San Francisco
id 6429803
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JustWow ( member #19636) posted at 2:49 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

BTDT. Donated the thing to charity. Went to a worthy cause

BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)

posts: 3889   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2008   ·   location: Midwest
id 6429804
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 DoneWithLove (original poster member #39380) posted at 2:55 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

We are trying to move and get new phones too... Hopefully before december. I wish we had the money to do everything all at once, I would blow his stuff to smithereens, but if he wants to stay M to me, he will do it asap. He agrees too, saying that im always right so its best for him to comply. Thank you and Good luck

BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

posts: 191   ·   registered: May. 28th, 2013   ·   location: The mitten state
id 6429811
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RightTrack ( member #36976) posted at 6:12 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

WH sold his stupid truck that he drove OW around in. I remember him taking the kids' car seats out of it so he could pick up his "(LEO) partner on the way to business trips". I bought a cute little BMW with the money.

posts: 870   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2012
id 6430004
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 DoneWithLove (original poster member #39380) posted at 7:19 AM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

Im hoping we can use it towards a new vehicle, if not, pushing it over a cliff is fine too. Im taking all of mine and my kids things out of it asap tomorrow. No more games, especially TT.

BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

posts: 191   ·   registered: May. 28th, 2013   ·   location: The mitten state
id 6430042
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sunshine226 ( member #38851) posted at 12:28 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

I too want WH to get rid of the A vehicle if he ever came back.

And reading through these posts, I want him to trade it in in the city she lives, not here so that I never have the chance of seeing it all the time, and hopeful she will

But he is still with the OW so it doesnt matter, but it would be one of the conditions I would have had for R!!!!

Anything that reminded me or him of OW, would have to go!

Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

posts: 234   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2013
id 6430144
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 12:34 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

It was a request of mine for recovery and it took him 5 months and 1 day to sell it because "he didn't know what he wanted." I almost took a baseball bat to it several times. I seriously considered taking my set of the keys and selling it myself, and buying him the Batmobile and just parking it at his office and handing him the keys to his new car.

He claimed she wasn't in there with him but VAR said she was, and I heard them making out.

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6430148
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TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 3:50 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

rachelc....

Please forgive me but I have to tell you your post made me smile. You go girl!

T

Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!

posts: 605   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2013   ·   location: CDN
id 6430378
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 DoneWithLove (original poster member #39380) posted at 10:59 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

He admitted he had her in the AV, I told him I wanted him to get rid of it, preferably putting it towards a new vehicle for me, and so we are going tomorrow to see if we can do a trade in. The new vehicle will be mine and will be decked out to my liking. I told him that I feel spoiled, he said I aint seen nothing yet so I asked him what the limit is and he said being homeless. I know that'll never happend because of me. Thank you and Good luck

BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

posts: 191   ·   registered: May. 28th, 2013   ·   location: The mitten state
id 6431097
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2married2quit ( member #36555) posted at 11:33 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

I would love for my FWW to get rid of her phone and car. Both make me SICK and trigger me. Can't afford it.

:(

BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 ( she's a childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
She had 2 affairs with two different men.
Status: divorced.

posts: 1746   ·   registered: Aug. 20th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6431136
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Knowing ( member #37044) posted at 11:45 PM on Thursday, August 1st, 2013

fWH used my car to go spend a week alone with COW. He cleaned it all up before he left. He let her drive it. I raged some when I found out but I'm over it now. It's not about her, she could have been anyone. I still like my car a lot.

BW, R last 4 years of marriage out of 15... FINALLY, HAPPILY DIVORCING!

We are in R.

posts: 698   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2012
id 6431151
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BeyondBreaking ( member #38020) posted at 12:00 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

I refused to ride in DD's dad's truck when I found out about all that was going on in there. It broke down a few months after we broke up, and I couldn't have been happier. I didn't want my child riding in there.

One more step towards healing. May you love your affair-free vehicles!!!

I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."

posts: 879   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2013
id 6431174
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 DoneWithLove (original poster member #39380) posted at 12:05 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2013

I like this truck alot but its kind of become a turd anyways so im looking forward to getting a new well desurved vehicle. And ive never been attached any one vehicle so as long as it runs good and is big enough, im happy... Shiny is just a plus! Thank you and Good luck

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 6:06 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]

BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

posts: 191   ·   registered: May. 28th, 2013   ·   location: The mitten state
id 6431182
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 DoneWithLove (original poster member #39380) posted at 12:04 AM on Sunday, August 4th, 2013

My FWH told me that he told his atl about getting rid of his truck/ AV because of Hs A. His atl asked him if it was worth it! I cant believe someone who has never been cheated on, but flirts with female coworkers, would even have to ask if its worth it. Of course its worth it, if he wants to have a future with me, its well worth it. H told him that if I wanted him to give it away he would but I guess his atl thinks its not fair or something. Is there any wonder why none of my Hs coworkers had a problem with him having an A. I swear, if I ever own my own business, flirting, pda and any other sexual contact or demeanor will not be tolerated, unless the two are already married. I think that should be a national standard.

BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

posts: 191   ·   registered: May. 28th, 2013   ·   location: The mitten state
id 6433686
This Topic is Archived
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