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Off Topic :
Your Footprint...

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Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 1:07 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

You and MH getting death threats?? Just goes to show you there are some *seriously* screwed up people in this world.

(((DS & MH)))

BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2008   ·   location: A better place
id 6448857
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 1:09 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

Hole-E sh!t. I'm so sorry. Do you need an enforcer

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6448859
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ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 1:13 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

Yes, we know who it is but I don't think I should say much more publicly about it, because I'm confident this person is reading here

. I realized that after I posted.

It's complete bullshit, nobody deserves to be treated that way, and I'm so sorry you are going through this.

posts: 12227   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2008
id 6448865
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deeplysad ( member #16590) posted at 1:17 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

OMG, I'm so sorry for what you're going thru.

I'm older than you, so it'll probably be what you remember about me.

But every single day I think about how lucky I am to have such a wonderful friend and how much you mean to me. You have made a HUGE impact on my life and I really don't know where I would be without you and this site.

What you will leave behind someday is thousands upon thousands of grateful people.

Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

posts: 3413   ·   registered: Oct. 12th, 2007   ·   location: So Calif
id 6448873
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Jen ( member #26584) posted at 1:22 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

But do any of you feel the need to leave some sort of footprint behind? Maybe because I don't have kids I'm feeling like I haven't done anything truly exceptional with my life

This ... And ad to that ... D'ed, I'm an LPN a broke in debt one at that. I literally have nothing to show for my 38 yrs alive ... and when my parents, sister and me all pass away, that's it our family is done. No bio kids for either me or my sis.

Sure I may touch some patients lives here or there ... I am kind and giving to animals and those less fortunate than I. But really ... nothing. I don't want to be president nothing like that ...

I don't know how to tell you what a huge foot print you have left on the lives of many DS ... This place is far more than you ever imagined, and has reached/touched so many ... The foot prints may be small because they are one life ... but ad them together and it is astounding the print you have left. A permanent carved out one, for others to follow.

And if your looking to adopt I'm available ...

Me former Booger Bear ...
https://youtu.be/1TcLw3TOIN8
Hand Me Down MatchBox 20
https://youtu.be/iFdOAyyn76M
Love Falls by HellYeah

posts: 19991   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Where's the fucking rainbow ???
id 6448886
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Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 1:37 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

You've done more than help others. You've given us a way for us to help others. Speaking for myself I know my own healing would not be where it's at today if not for SI. It wasn't just the support I received but the support I was able to provide. Being able to take what I've been through and use it to help others was positive and constructive.

So if you're looking for footprints then realize you've left them all over the members of SI.

Hmmmm...

Ok, maybe that doesn't sound as flattering as it was intended but you get the picture.

[This message edited by Brandon808 at 7:37 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)]

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 6448909
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 1:38 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I was going to PM you because I didn't want to come off all brown nosey in public but fuck it -

I know how hard it is to view ourselves objectively and see good. I've got a backpack full of guilt and it keeps me from accepting compliments and positivity way more often than I should.

That being said, I'm still surprised that you can't see all the good you do for the world around you and what a legacy you are leaving by the place you have created here and the massive part of your life and heart you have put into helping people heal.

There's the butterfly effect, and then there's the 40,000 butterflies effect. If the interwebs evaporated tomorrow you would still have helped thousands of people realize that life is worth living - that relationships are worth having - that not giving up is a worthy and amazing path.

And this is just a PART of what you do. You show kindness and generosity is so many other aspects of your life - the effects of which will surely continue to pay it forward in ways you cannot see or count.

I honest to goodness love you, DS. I'm a better mom to my Vrazz because you and MH built this house and gave me a place to vent my crazy and know that I'm not alone.

We're all your kids. xoxo

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6448911
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gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 1:41 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I often wonder if I've made a difference.

You DS and MH have made a real difference in the lives of so many people.

I hope the police quickly stop whoever is harassing you.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: Georgia
id 6448916
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gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 1:45 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

t/j:

I know how hard it is to view ourselves objectively and see good. I've got a backpack full of guilt and it keeps me from accepting compliments and positivity way more often than I should.

This is SO true for me!!!

end t/j

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: Georgia
id 6448919
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TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 1:52 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that drama! But, ya know...the good thing about running a website viewed all over the world is that you have people behind you in all sorts of lines of work. I'm sure someone on here who lives in Jersey has an "uncle" who runs a "garbage disposal" business that can offer his "services." Probably shouldn't have said that on the Internet....I mean....all is on the up and up in Jersey!!!

Seriously though, I think I get what you mean. Even though I have plenty of people who see my worth and could tell me I was needed, I still knew it would last for that moment, they would go home, and something else would have their attention instead. What is going to last? Really...nothing. My kids need me, but not always. My WH needs me, but not always. My parents love me, but I'm sure I'm not on my dad's mind when he is fishing. I guess self worth is where it's at. You never leave you. And I've learned as a teacher that you can't touch lives all the times. It's moments. That's what you get. Reminds me of Seasons of Love from Rent:

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets

In midnights, in cups of coffee

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, a year in the life?

How about love?

How about love?

How about love?

Measure in love

Seasons of love

Seasons of love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned

Or in times that he cried

In bridges he burned

Or the way that she died

It's time now, to sing out

Though the story never ends

Let's celebrate

Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love

(Oh, you got to, you got to remember the love)

Remember the love

(You know that life is a gift from up above)

Remember the love

(Share love, give love, spread love)

Measure in love

(Measure, measure your life in love)

Seasons of love

Seasons of love

(Measure your life, measure you life in love)

[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 7:54 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)]

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6448926
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StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 2:04 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

Man, somebody was REALLY pissed about all those printed emails.

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

posts: 7918   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 6448946
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Eranda ( member #6010) posted at 2:06 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

Well... I wrote a book. Does that count?

My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

posts: 4254   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2004   ·   location: eastern PA
id 6448950
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Tred ( member #34086) posted at 2:14 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

Man, somebody was REALLY pissed about all those printed emails.

No shit. Exposure always brings in the nuts who are looking for their chance to be on the evening news.

DS, we can saddle up the Marble Collectors whenever you need us. I know you read that thread, and we won't let you down. I can hear the theme music playing now

Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5890   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 6448962
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:23 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

We're all your kids. xoxo

Amen.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6448975
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kernel ( member #27035) posted at 3:17 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

We're all your kids. xoxo

Exactly. And we'll be forever grateful that you opened your heart to all of us. Thank you so much.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6449035
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Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 4:09 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

but what legacy will I leave behind?

You will leave behind one that says you are an incredibly loving and caring person. You take so much crap from people (related to this site), but you keep this site going. That in itself is a legacy

Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's

posts: 11775   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009
id 6449083
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ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 4:49 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

If you want to know what kind of legacy you've left behind, you can ask our DD. She knows about the troubles we've had, she knows about this forum, and she knows what it has done for her. I'd be glad to let you talk to her. Who knows... maybe you'll meet us and her, someday.

posts: 12227   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2008
id 6449123
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Crushed1 ( member #6449) posted at 4:56 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

((((DS)))) I am a few years ahead of you in age...and in approaching my Sr. years, I've also wondered many times 'what kind of footprint will I leave behind'?

I see you as having left a HUGE, wonderful, giving, and very loving footprint through the body of SI. You have been instrumental through your site in saving lives, saving sanity, helping those who have fallen to get back up and keep going. I could go on and on about the great things you have done. It is awesome to realize that you have reached millions of people, most of whom you will never know, through this site!!! You've done great sister!

I am so distressed to hear about the threats against you and your husband. That tears me up inside and I've never even met you, though I feel that I 'know' you. God bless you, I am keeping you both in my prayers. ((((DS & MH)))).

~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

posts: 10024   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2005   ·   location: Texas
id 6449132
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 5:07 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I was going to PM you because I didn't want to come off all brown nosey in public but fuck it -

Thanks Jrazz, so ditto that^

DS,

I too, see the irony of posting that question on this forum. It seems so obvious but I guess it isn't or you would not have posted.

I hear what you say about you blurted out the "because I cheated" explanation. Around these parts we call that a filter lapse. But be clear in this: that statement doesn't define you. It might define the moment that led to all of this, but THIS community is a bigger definition of what you have done, what you leave behind.

If the site closed tomorrow (God forbid!) you would still leave the legacy of the work done and the lives touched. And the friendships created. I have found dear dear friends here that I would otherwise have missed.

Oprah has a legacy. I have watched her show and have read her magazine. But I sure don't feel like I "know" her.

Not only is this site here day after day, but you are as well. You are a known personality, and you have carefully cultivated an atmosphere of kindness, caring, generosity, forgiveness, and grace. All while interspersed with some of the most colorful language I have seen anywhere on the planet!

I am a parent. I have influence on those 2. I am a teacher. I reach a few handful of children through the classroom. I actually feel like I have as much of a footprint here as "caregiver" as I do anywhere else in my life. And you made that possible!

I think it is down right fitting that this community has been able to "give back" when you were feeling low.

(((DS))) and prayers.

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6449142
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 5:11 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I hope the police get whoever is threatening you. So sorry that you are going through that.

Like every one else has already said, you have left your footprint here on SI. What you two have done here is amazing.

I don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for SI.

Thank you for giving us SI.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6449144
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